Lost in Paradise
by Nightingale's Muse
Summary: Catherine Troi became a nurse in Starfleet hoping to ease the suffering of others. Her new position in Section 31, however, quickly turns her life upside down challenging her to question everything she has vowed to uphold. And her assigned patient, John Harrison? Together they will struggle to learn what it truly means to be human and to protect those that they hold most dear.
1. Life Among the Distant Stars

**Author's Notes/Introduction: I have a strong background in music, so I like to include track suggestions for your listening pleasure. They are not required, and you will not be missing anything pertinent to the story if you do not listen to them. I also enjoy hiding tidbits from other works of literature, films, etc., so kudos to those of you who can point them out. I do work full-time, and unfortunately, like Sherlock, I do feel married to my work. I will do my best, however, not to leave you hanging too long! ****With the altered timeline, I felt that many things were up for grabs including names. This is why my main character is half-Betazoid and has the last name of Troi. I also wanted her to be a little like Deanna Troi and be a small tribute to the character.**

**So, without further ado...**

* * *

1. Life Among the Distant Stars

(Track suggestions: "Amy's Starless Life" and "Life Among the Distant Stars: by Murray Gold)

May 2258

"Thanks for helping me study for that pharmacology final!" a male Starfleet Academy student called out to a young woman in a blue Starfleet uniform.

"No problem! How do you think it went?" she asked after running over to meet the student.

"I'm feeling pretty good about it. Your tips really helped me to remember the different drug classifications."

"That's great!"

"And," the cadet leaned in to whisper, "those Betazoid relaxation techniques you taught me really came in handy the other night, too. I finally summoned up the courage to talk to Rin, and she agreed to go out for some coffee with me tomorrow. Thank you so much, Catherine."

"No problem! Good luck with medical school next year and especially with your date," she smiled. "I need to get going and check in at the research lab to make sure things are wrapped up. See you in the fall!"

Catherine Mae Troi was a 28-year-old lieutenant in Starfleet. Her mother, Kestra, was from Betazed, and her father, Dylan, was from Earth. Although her psionic abilities were somewhat limited due to her mixed heritage, Catherine was very empathic and immediately following the destruction of the fleet and the planet Vulcan by the Romulan from the distant future named Nero and his ship the _Narada_, the overwhelming feelings of pain and grief she sensed from those around her altered her destiny forever.

While at Starfleet Academy, she had completed her studies in history and planned on becoming a ship's historian as soon as a position was available. As she waited, she did odd job positions and attained the rank of lieutenant. With the aforementioned time and life altering events, however, Catherine decided to go back to the academy to become a nurse.

"I cannot change what happens to those around me, but I can at least help to alleviate their suffering," she explained to her parents who were proud of her and supported her no matter what she decided to do with her career at Starfleet. "Besides, there's a shortage of nurses, and it should not be difficult for me to find a position in an area that I find interesting."

"Just remember, little one, that when you joined Starfleet, you had to vow not to use your Betazoid abilities on fellow crew members," Kestra reminded her.

"I know, mother, but it is such a ridiculous rule. It's about as silly as the vow of celibacy they make the Deltans take. It's not fair and borderline racist. Oh well, maybe someday they will reverse it. Besides, you're the only one I can fully communicate with telepathically anyway."

During her time at Starfleet Medical, Catherine quickly found herself interested in the areas of research and rehabilitation. Despite all the advancements in science, there were still some things that modern medicine could not mend or cure. Through these areas of interest, Catherine wanted to help people maximize their ability to function despite their disabilities.

For the duration of the spring semester, she had assisted in a lab study, but as this project was wrapping up, she would need to find a new assignment soon. Tucking her chocolate-brown curls behind one of her ears, she looked on her PADD at openings while visiting with her friend Janice Rand at one of their favorite coffee shops in Lawrenceville, a neighborhood in Pittsburgh.

"So, what kind of assignments are you going to apply for?" the blonde asked her as she watched her flick through pages of listings on the PADD.

"I'm not sure," she sighed. "I still want to stick with something in research or rehab, but I think I'm starting to experience a quarter life crisis. I need some excitement, and I feel like I just don't belong in San Francisco anymore. I need to branch out."

"I know what you mean. I myself am not sure if botany is my thing anymore. Did you hear that they're going to commission the _Enterprise_ for a five-year mission? I was thinking of applying for a position as a yeoman."

"That would work great for you, Jan. You would still have your rank, and you could use that time as a yeoman to explore different areas of interest. I think you should do it!"

"Really?"

"If you think it would be good for you, I say go for it. It would definitely be an adventure!"

"Yeah, it would," she thought briefly. "Okay, I'll apply for it!"

"I hope you get it! I'll miss you, but that is so exciting! Besides, isn't that where Christine Chapel is working?"

"Oh yeah, she was working there for a while, but her sister said that she had her heart-broken pretty badly by the captain."

"Well, you just make sure to keep away from him. Captain James T. Kirk does have quite a reputation around the fleet," she rolled her eyes.

Janice's PADD blipped with an incoming text message. She picked it up, opened the message, and started to read a newsletter from the career development office at the academy. "Hmm, do you get these?" she asked as she showed Catherine the message.

"Actually, no, I never bothered to sign myself up for those."

"This one position sounds really interesting. Look," Janice handed Catherine her PADD.

"_Immediate opening: nurse with experience in research and rehabilitation. Must have at least one year's experience, be able to work independently under physician supervision, and demonstrate ability to provide accurate, thorough documentation. A complete job description will be provided upon completion of interview and passing Section 31 security clearances. Applications and resumes can be sent to Starfleet Intelligence at fleet headquarters in San Francisco."_

"Wow, I wonder what that's all about. That sounds like they're looking just for me. What is Section 31?"

"Not sure, I've never heard of it. Maybe it's like Torchwood or something," Janice laughed.

"The most famous secret organization in the world! Oh, that was a great show."

"Well?"

"What?"

"Are you going to apply?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt. They won't give out more info until I pass the clearances and complete the interview, so I guess I may as well try to find out more."

"If you get the job, maybe you'll get to work with Captain Jack Harkness."

"Maybe they're looking for the Doctor!" Catherine laughed as she forwarded her application and resume to Starfleet Intelligence.

"Oh, what I would give for a mad man in a blue box to show up and take me away," Janice sighed.

"I know! Live your life among the distant stars with all of time and space at your doorstep. See history for yourself as it really happened and not how the winners say it did." Catherine fiddled with her coffee cup, "Oh well, I guess I don't need a mad man in blue box. I just need one man, the right man. Sometimes, though, at this rate, I'd even take attention given by Captain Kirk!"

Catherine never had any luck in the romance department. She was not ashamed of the fact that she had never been kissed and was still a virgin, but she was certainly sexually frustrated due to these facts. Although she joked about getting attention from Captain Kirk, in reality, she knew she would not settle for any flings. She only needed the right man, but more and more she felt like she would never find him. She felt as if human men were intimidated by her Betazoid heritage and that Betazoid men felt like she was too human since she was raised on Earth.

"You'll find him someday," Janice reassured her. "A tall, dark man will sweep you off your feet when you least expect it."

"I certainly hope so!" she sighed. "Well, I'll let you know if I hear anything about this assignment. Make sure to let me know if you hear anything about the yeoman position."

"Definitely!"


	2. For Duty and Humanity?

2. For Duty and Humanity?

(Torchwood Theme by Ben Foster and Murray Gold)

Catherine joined her family for a vacation to Betazed a couple of days after putting in her application for the Section 31 position. She had not bothered to tell anyone else other than Janice about it. She was certainly interested, but she was not about to get her heart set on getting the position as she was not even completely sure what the job entailed.

She always felt she was well-rounded when it came to her personal interests. Besides history and medicine, she also found the idea of working in an intelligence or criminal justice capacity very intriguing. She grew up watching very old reruns of shows like _CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, _BBC's _Sherlock, Doctor Who,_ and _Torchwood_. Although she knew she would not be an agent running around in the field in tight black clothes but that she would actually just be in a lab, she still would be part of something secretive and exciting.

"_I could be like Molly Hooper or Toshiko Sato," _she smiled inwardly as she thought about a couple of her favorite "behind the scenes" characters that usually were in lab coats rather than running about getting into trouble. _"Come to think of it, they're about as lucky in love as I am! Oh, I'm being so silly,"_ she scolded herself.

Three days into her vacation, Catherine had been out the whole afternoon with a few of her cousins to one of Betazed's most popular beaches. After making sure that she was not dragging any leftover sand in with her inside the doorway of her parents' house, Catherine walked inside to be greeted by her parents and a gentleman in a Starfleet uniform.

"Where have you been Catherine?" her mother jumped off the couch. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon!"

"I'm so sorry! I thought I told you that I was going to the beach. I left my PADD here so it wouldn't get wet. Did I forget about something?"

"Lieutenant Troi?" the man in uniform asked approaching her.

"Yes?"

"This gentleman's been waiting all afternoon to speak with you," Kestra interrupted to scold her further.

"I'm sorry? Did we have an appointment?" Catherine asked confused.

"No. My name is Commander Williams. I'm with Starfleet Intelli-"

"What in heaven's name did you do?" her father took his turn in interrupting the commander. "Did you practice telepathy on a colleague? You know you are not permitted to do that!"

"Daddy, you know I do not have that ability except between mum and myself, and no, I have not done anything!" she tried to explain.

"Mr. and Mrs. Troi, Lieutenant Troi, no one is in trouble, and no crime has been committed," the commander explained somewhat exasperated after waiting so long and being interrupted multiple times. "Miss, I am here to speak with you about your application."

"The Section 31 position?"

"Yes, none of our other applicants have panned out thus far, but after speaking with your professional references, we wanted to contact you as soon as possible to begin your interviews and screenings. I conveniently was in the area and able to speak to you in person. Also, your academic background and heritage gives you quite an advantage over our other applicants. From what we can tell, you could be a good fit for our project."

"Oh, I see."

"You are to report to headquarters at 1600 tomorrow to begin the process. I am sorry for any inconveniences, but we are getting close to our deadline. I will meet you at the embassy tonight at 2000 to escort you personally."

"This is all so sudden. Well then, I suppose I need to pack my things," she shrugged her shoulders.

"See you at 2000. I will see myself out, thank you," the commander excused himself.

"Little one, what is this all about?" Kestra lightly put her hand on Catherine's back.

"Well, I needed to find a new position since we wrapped up that research study at the end of the spring semester. Janice found this position in a career development newsletter, and we thought it sounded interesting. I really have no clue what the job entails, but I applied anyway to see if I could find out more. They are supposed to tell me more after an interview and passing security clearances."

"What is Section 31?" Dylan asked. "Is that with Starfleet?"

"I guess it is as I had to submit my information to Starfleet Intelligence."

"I don't think I want my little girl to be involved in that secret agent stuff," he furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"Daddy, it's a nursing position for some kind of research. How could it possibly be dangerous? Besides, the doctors will most likely have to worry about the worst of it, whatever 'it' is. I can sense dangerous intent on the part of others, you know."

"I know you can, but you're still my little girl. I just don't want you to be in any danger."

"I promise that if at any time I have my doubts about safety, I will quit," Catherine promised.

"Kestra?" he looked to his mate.

"She's not lying, darling. I sense no deception," Kestra read her daughter's feelings. _"He's such a worry wart, little one!"_

"_Mother, don't pick on Daddy," _Catherine scolded her mother telepathically.

Later that day, Catherine sat on the transport shuttle to the embassy quickly typing out a message on her PADD to Janice. _"Well, looks like I'm heading back to Earth sooner than I thought. I have an interview tomorrow for that Section 31 assignment that we saw a few days ago."_

"_No way! Already? Wow, they're fast!"_

"_I know! A commander came personally to fetch me. He said that no one else has worked out yet for them, and it sounds like they're in a hurry. Guess I'll find out what this is all about soon!"_

"_When is the interview?"_

"_1600."_

"_I'll be sure to be thinking about you. Good luck! Let me know how it goes! ~ Jan"_

Catherine met Commander Williams at the Federation embassy as ordered. On the shuttle ride back to Earth, she went over and over questions they might ask her at the interview and mentally practiced her answers before falling asleep. Upon arriving in San Francisco, a female staff member showed Catherine to a suite where she could shower and get ready after travelling all night. After a late lunch, she reported a little early to Starfleet Intelligence for the interview.

After being thoroughly scanned by security for weapons, Catherine was led to a conference room where she was introduced to the various staff members who would be conducting a panel-style interview.

"Lieutenant Troi, I am Admiral Alexander Marcus and this is Dr. Luke Smith," a middle-aged uniformed officer introduced himself and the 35-or-so-year-old gentleman standing beside him. "If you take on this assignment, you will report directly to me and work under the doctor's supervision. If you are ready, we'll go ahead and begin?"

"Yes, sir, I am ready," she replied nervously.

After a few basic questions regarding her training, previous experience, and how she would handle certain situations, Admiral Marcus began to provide more information on the position. "Lieutenant, you already passed our security clearances with flying colors as your personal and professional records are spotless. You also recently completed your annual medical exam and health screening. There are some additional Section 31 physical requirements that you will need some additional training in order to meet our standards, but we can easily work that into your schedule if you take the assignment," he explained. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering what exactly is Section 31, am I right?"

"Yes, sir, I have never heard of it."

"Section 31 is an officially nonexistent covert organization within Starfleet Intelligence. It is our duty to protect the security interests of Earth and the United Federation of Planets. We're outside the government, beyond the military. If needed, we will fight for the future of the human race and our allies. The 23rd century is when everything changes, and Section 31 has to be ready. We have already seen what outside threats can do. Now, with this in mind, let me tell you why we want you. Besides your professional achievements, you are half Betazoid. We understand that you do not have the psionic abilities that a full-blooded Betazoid would have, but nonetheless, we consider your Betazoid heritage to be a valuable asset."

"Sir, I am not permitted to use my abilities on my fellow crew members. I had to take that vow when I joined Starfleet," she shyly reminded Admiral Marcus.

"Yes, but don't forget, Section 31 is not officially part of Starfleet, so you can do whatever you want with your abilities. Besides, we need someone who can sense any ill intentions for this assignment."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I think I need a little clarification as it sounds as if you are offering me this position. Am I interpreting your words correctly?"

"Yes, the position is yours if you want it."

"But I do not even know what exactly I will be doing."

"Unfortunately due to security reasons, we cannot tell you unless you take on the position."

"How soon do you need my answer?"

"Sorry to put the pressure on you like this, but we need to know at 0900 tomorrow. Let me emphasize this to you, Lieutenant Troi. We really need you. Starfleet and the Federation need you. No one else thus far has fit this position as well as you, and our other outstanding applicants do not appear to be as promising either. Please, just remember what caused you to join Starfleet. Also remember, that by working with Section 31, you will be doing your part to make sure that what happened to Vulcan will not happen to any other planet in the Federation again. It won't happen to Earth. It won't happen to Betazed." Admiral Marcus paused for a few seconds knowing that Catherine could sense his concern and to let the gravity of his words sink in even deeper into her mind. "Do you have any questions?"

"No, sir, not at this time," she replied flatly.

"Very well, we will meet you back here tomorrow at 0900 to hear your decision."

"Aye, sir," she stood at attention as the room emptied. "Ohhh! For duty and humanity?" she groaned quietly to herself rubbing her eyes after everyone was gone.

Catherine went home to her quarters after picking at her dinner that she bought at a local café, her anxiety causing her to feel somewhat nauseated. Sitting at her desk, she initiated a comm link with her parents. "Mummy, Daddy, what should I do? What if I hate it and can't quit?" she asked after updating them about the interview. "This is pretty serious stuff!"

In short, although she dearly loved her parents, she did not feel that they were very helpful as they essentially gave her their cliché response of, "We'll love you and be proud of you no matter what."

Since she felt no closer to making a decision, she contacted Janice for support and to tell her how the interview went. "I'm so sorry, Jan, I know it's getting late in Pittsburgh, but I need your help!"

"I think you should take a leap, Catherine. Just think of it. Although you're a nurse, you will be doing such an important job. This is an amazing opportunity! What do you think? This is ultimately up to you, and no one else can tell you what to do with your life."

"Well, it's pretty intimidating, but…" she paused and thought briefly before continuing, "It is a pretty cool sounding job."

"I think you sound like you want to do it," Janice prodded.

"I think you're right?" Catherine hesitated.

"Well?"

"I guess I'll go for it."

"Great! Keep in touch and let me know how things work out."

"Oh, and did you hear anything about the yeoman position yet?"

"No, but I'll keep you posted!"

"Night, Jan!"


	3. Your Mission

**A/N: Thank you to my reviewers and followers for all of your support!**

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3. Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It…

(Listening track selection: The Mission by Ben Foster and Murray Gold)

Catherine resolved to take a risk and accept the position for the Section 31 assignment. Getting out of the taxi shuttle at Starfleet Intelligence, she straightened her dress. "Well, here we go," she said to herself. "Lock and load."

After undergoing the same security process as the day before and being escorted once again to the conference room, Catherine took a seat and waited for the staff to meet with her. She did her best to quick shaking her leg nervously.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Troi," Admiral Marcus greeted her as he and Dr. Smith entered the room. "I trust you slept well last night?"

"I did the best I could to sleep given the life changing decision I had to make in less than twenty-four hours," she blurted out nervously. "Oh!" she slapped her palm over her mouth in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry! Betazoids can be overly honest to the point of bluntness at times. Unfortunately for me, it seems that I tend to have a hard time reigning that side of me in when I'm under stress."

Marcus chuckled. "No need to apologize. We did put you in a difficult position, after all. I trust you have come to your decision?" he asked as he sat down beside the doctor.

"Yes, sir, I have managed to make my choice, and I have decided to officially accept the position for the Section 31 assignment for which I applied."

"Excellent!" Marcus slapped the desk surface with enthusiasm. "We are very happy that you have decided to join us!"

"Thank you, I am anxious to see what I can do to help. So, what exactly is my assignment, sir?"

"Well, we'll go ahead and have you do some basic debriefing and orientation, get you some lunch, and then at 1300, we'll go ahead and introduce you to your assignment."

"Sir, you speak of my assignment as if it is a person," Catherine raised her eyebrow.

"I know you're excited, miss, but you'll learn about your assignment soon enough." Marcus pushed a button on the desk's console, "Lieutenant Commander Zhang."

"Yes, Admiral Marcus?" a woman's voice replied from the comm system.

"Please come and escort Lieutenant Troi to her debriefing."

"Aye, sir."

"See you at 1300," Marcus told Catherine before quickly getting up and starting to converse with Dr. Smith as they walked out of the room.

"_We'll go ahead and introduce you to your assignment?"_ Catherine thought to herself puzzled by Marcus' words. _"From what I can sense, he definitely was referring to the assignment as a person. What in the world?"_

Lieutenant Commander Zhang, a young human woman of Chinese ancestry, greeted Catherine and escorted her to a debriefing room where she joined several other new recruits and current staff. The staff explained basic Section 31 protocols. Catherine expected that she would not be permitted to speak to friends and family about her work, and as a medical professional, this was nothing new. She was a little surprised, however, to learn that Section 31 might hack her comm devices and even place tracking devices on any personal vehicles or electronics. She was somewhat relieved, however, to learn that usually only agents involved in the more dangerous assignments had tracking devices placed under their skin, and even then, it was rare.

The group was then taken to receive their new comm badges, ID's, equipment, and uniforms before reporting to one of Section 31's medical units to receive additional vaccines, be fingerprinted, and to provide blood and tissue samples for their medical and DNA database. Catherine had regularly worked with medical tricorders before, but she was excited to be given her very own as well as a personal medical kit. At lunch, she ate quickly so that she could try out her new gear.

"_This is great!" _she smiled as the tricorder's screen lit up. _"This has to be the most up-to-date equipment Starfleet has available right now. Nurses certainly have come such a long way since the profession started."_

It was finally almost 1300, and Lieutenant Commander Zhang met back up with Catherine to take her to her official debriefing with Marcus and Dr. Smith. "Well, Lieutenant Troi, the time you've been waiting for is finally at hand," Marcus smiled as he shook her hand.

"I think you will find your assignment quite intriguing," Dr. Smith added also shaking her hand. "Please, have a seat."

"Many of our agents are often in danger of personal harm," Marcus started. "Sometimes the threats are outright physical in nature: explosions, blunt force trauma, stab wounds, phaser and disruptor burns, and more. Other times, those threats are not so obvious such as biological and chemical weapons. Some of our agents are also subjected to psychological torture. Unfortunately, despite the numerous advancements we are blessed to have in modern medicine, as you can imagine, sometimes our agents are left disabled. We are currently, of course, working on numerous methods to try to correct these disabilities, but we are also trying to find ways of preserving our agents lives and vigor in a stasis state to provide time for the body to heal between very difficult and invasive treatments, and, in the worst and regrettable cases, to preserve them, if needed, for many years until they can be cured. Dr. Smith, I will let you take it from here."

"Lieutenant Troi, I believe you are familiar with the term 'cryogenics'?" Dr. Smith inquired.

"Yes, sir, it is a subject I have encountered numerous times throughout both my historical and medical studies. I even wrote a term paper on cryogenics once."

"Your excellent term paper on the subject was one of the many reasons why we selected you," he smiled and somewhat wriggled in his seat with excitement. "As you know, even in the 20th and 21st centuries, physicians used cooling methods during surgery and experimented with cryogenics to preserve their patients. Cryogenics was also often used for deep space travel before Zefram Cochrane invented the warp drive. This is the method that we are working with to perform the tasks that Admiral Marcus already mentioned."

"About a year ago," Marcus picked up, "we discovered a 20th century cargo ship, the SS_ Botany Bay_, adrift in Federation Space. On board, we happened to discover several functional, but unoccupied, cryogenic tubes. We brought them back to Earth to our London base located beneath the Kelvin Memorial Archives, studied them, and then modified and updated them. After completing animal test studies, we decided to move forward with humanoid test studies. And so, here we are. Time for you to meet your assignment." Marcus brought up an agent profile on the screen. "Meet Commander John Harrison. "

"_A handsome fellow," _Catherine thought looking at Harrison's photograph.

"If you happen to look it up, you will find that his Starfleet dossier is contradictory to his true background as are many of our agent profiles. We have to give them cover stories, so to speak. Anyways, Harrison is 30-years-old and originally from Dover, Great Britain. He was one of nine survivors of the attack on the colony on Tarsus IV in 2246. He lost both of his parents in the attack, has no other living relatives. As you can imagine, this greatly played into his decision to join Section 31, and he joined us immediately out of Starfleet Academy. Harrison quickly excelled and took on top missions and projects. He is currently one of our top agents and weapons experts. On his last mission, he was hit with a massive plasma burst and developed a severe case of post-neural shock syndrome."

"As we know, and are grateful, post-neural shock syndrome is only temporary and full recovery is expected albeit it may take a few weeks or even a few months," Dr. Smith chimed in adding to the case's background information.

"Harrison, however, is a stubborn bastard, and we knew he would not listen to our orders to rest especially since he was displaying some signs of aggression. So, we approached him with the possibility of being our test subject."

"We expected that he would only need a short time in the cryotube, and given that he would be in a constant state of rest, it was our hope that it would shorten his recovery. Thankfully, this appealed to him, and he agreed to it. He has been sleeping like a baby for about two months now, and it is time to wake him up."

"This is where you come in, Lieutenant Troi. Tomorrow you will relocate and travel with Dr. Smith to London. You will assist him with reanimating Harrison. After successful reanimation, it will be your duty to provide inpatient care for Harrison initially until he can be discharged, and at that point, you will continue to follow him on a daily basis to collect data and monitor his recovery. This is only the first phase of your assignment, of course, but it will be integral in continuing the cryogenics project in the long run. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, sir," Catherine replied. "You mentioned additional physical training yesterday. How and when will this be integrated into my schedule?"

"Conveniently enough, Harrison is also an expert in hand-to-hand combat tactics, so we will have him work with you on your physical training. You can simultaneously collect data on his physical condition status post cryogenic stasis as he works on getting himself back into top form."

"Combat training? Sir, I never expected to be in combat!"

"Now, don't get yourself worked up! You will never be expected to be in combat, but it doesn't hurt to know some basic defensive and evasive tactics in the case of an emergency. The likelihood of you ever being in such a situation is negligible, but we want all of our staff to be prepared."

"So, in regards to training, being that he's one of your best, he's basically going to kill me," she lightly laughed.

"I'll be sure to tell him to take it easy on you," Marcus chuckled. "Anything else?"

"Well, since I am going to be spending a lot of time with Commander Harrison, do you have any additional information on him that may be helpful?"

"Unfortunately, we have limited personal information on him. He's a bit of a loner. However, you are certainly welcome to review his medical chart and recent project reports. I suppose the reports will give you two something to talk about. Think of this like getting to know a blind date," Marcus laughed. "From personal experience, however, I can tell you that he can be very stubborn. He is a workaholic and can be pretty intense. I would even venture to say that he is a bit of a loose cannon at times. He really needs to lighten up. Maybe you can use your Betazoid insight to figure him out, help him relax a little."

"Are you suggesting he needs some counseling, as well?"

"What agent doesn't? In my opinion, he is a pretty damaged person, but he's a damn good agent that we need to be at 100%. Some of his projects are absolutely critical to our purpose."

"Sir, I do not want to come across the wrong way, but should I be afraid of him?" Catherine started to feel a bit uncomfortable hearing more and more of Harrison's flaws and seemingly volatile nature.

"No, not at all! He can be intimidating, but I know that he would never physically hurt a woman. He's a bit eccentric, but he is still a typical British gentleman. Besides, your abilities will enable to you sense his true feelings and intentions and alert you to any danger if it ever did become an issue."

"Oh, okay, sir. Well, I suppose I should start getting things ready for tomorrow. Is there anything else I need to know?"

"No, this is all you need to know."

"_Why do I feel like I'm being lied to about all of this? Why do I feel like there's more going on here that he's not telling me?" _Catherine thought to herself as she sensed some degree of deceit in Marcus' last statement.

"Well, nurse, I'll see you tomorrow morning bright and early at 0600 for our shuttle ride to London," Dr. Smith smiled as he gathered his belongings and left.

"All of the information you need including Harrison's files will be transmitted to your PADD before you leave today," Marcus explained. "Welcome again to Section 31. I think you have a bright future here with us," he shook her hand again before leading her out to the hall where Lieutenant Commander Zhang was waiting for her.


	4. The Sad Man In a Box

**A/N: I was inspired to title this chapter after _Doctor Who_ and the soundtrack track titled "The Sad Man With a Box." Thanks again to my reviewers for your kind words and welcome to new followers!**

* * *

4. The Sad Man In a Box

(Listening track selections: "Into the Hub" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold, "In Loneliness" by Taro Iwashiro)

Upon returning to her quarters, Catherine contacted her parents to update them and let them know that she may not be able to contact them as often as they were accustomed. She then contacted Janice to give her the same update but did let her know without getting too detailed that at this point her assignment was going to be her working specifically with a person.

"Maybe we should come up with some sort of innocent code system. Just in case you really need to talk to someone about what you're doing?" Janice suggested.

"Hmm, not a bad idea. Torchwood?"

"Torchwood!"

"I think Harkness can definitely be a good code name for my colleague."

"Know anything about this person?"

"Not much, although from what I know so far, he doesn't sound like Captain Jack at all. From what I've heard, he sounds a bit more like a workaholic Sherlock in macho mode."

"Uh oh, could be trouble," Janice scrunched her nose.

"Yeah, it could be," she admitted. "Well, I'm going to pack real quick and then look at some of the files they uploaded to my PADD. And I promise that I'll do my best to keep in touch!"

Catherine quickly packed what she would need for her first two or three weeks in London as Section 31 would handle getting the rest of her belongings moved to her new quarters. Catherine then crawled into bed with her PADD to study some of the files. First she opened Harrison's medical files. His baseline health status was perfect in every way possible. She gasped, however, as she perused some photos of past injuries that he had obtained and been treated for during his time as an agent. Stab wounds and deep gashes, electrical and chemical burns, compound fractures, even bite marks, _"How could anyone handle all of this?"_ she thought as she continued looking at the photos. _"I would want to be cryogenically frozen just to get a vacation!"_

What she found to be a bit odd was that all of the documented injuries were only about eight months ago. The time frame was also very tight with all of the injuries appearing to take place within about a couple of months of time, but none of the injuries took place at exactly the same time even though some of them were in the same areas of his body. _"How could he possibly heal from any of these injuries so quickly? Maybe he is a Captain Jack?"_ she joked inwardly to herself thinking of the immortal fictional character that could heal instantly. _"But this is just not possible. What is really going on here? Maybe they're just dated incorrectly," _she tried to reason with herself, but this still did not quell her suspicions that something very bizarre had been taking place.

Aside from the injuries, Catherine could not help but note Harrison's physical features. Pale skin covering toned muscles, dark hair, razor-sharp cheekbones, Cupid's bow lips, and the most striking, intense eyes. _"What beautiful eyes. Heterochromia? I suppose he is not completely perfect after all. Those eyes…" _she put a finger to her lips. _"Snap out of it! You have a job to do," _she shook her head catching herself lingering a little too long on some of the photos of him with no injuries. _"I better get to sleep. Early start tomorrow."_

On the shuttle ride to London with Dr. Smith, Catherine studied up on the schematics of the cryogenic tubes and the reports from the previously completed studies. She knew she would not be in charge of the actual equipment, but she felt it would be a good idea to at least have a better understanding of how they functioned with the modifications made by Section 31.

"Eager to get started?" Dr. Smith asked as he sat down by Catherine with a couple of bottles of water. "Thirsty?"

"Oh, yes, quite. Thanks," she took a bottle that he offered to her. "I figured that I have a lot of catching up to do in very little time, so I wanted to be as ready as possible."

"Don't worry. You'll be fine. The reanimation process is very controlled and from what we have seen thus far, it is very safe as well. Besides, I'm sure you've heard them say that there are rarely any emergencies in rehab or research."

"Definitely! I'm starting to think that's our specialty's unofficial motto or something," she laughed.

"Most of what you'll be doing initially is monitoring his vital signs, helping administer some medications, and some basic nursing care as well."

"Ah, smoothing fevered brows? Nursing has come very far, but I guess it still retains some of those old-fashioned romantic notions."

"Regardless, I think you are going to do very well. I'll let you get oriented to the facilities and equipment today, and we'll wake up Commander Harrison first thing tomorrow. I hope he's a morning person," he laughed.

"Oh dear, me, too. I'm the one that's going to have to put up with him," she snorted.

Upon their arrival and leaving their luggage with an attendant, Catherine and Dr. Smith headed to the Kelvin Memorial Archives. He took her through the security screening area and then led her to the turbolift. "We have to take it to the basement first and then head to the 'secret' turbolift for our base," he made quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

"How deep does it go?" she asked after they entered the Section 31 turbolift.

"Just far enough to be out of reach of most scanners. Ah, here we are," the lift stopped and the doors opened. "Just this way," he started to lead her through the complex and showing her some of the different labs the area contained. "Here we are. You need to use the retina scanner to get inside."

Dr. Smith led her inside after gaining access to the door. He showed her where all their equipment and medications were located as well as a small infirmary that was to be used for Harrison's initial stay as an inpatient. Catherine was impressed with the quality of the facilities and equipment. "So, where is Commander Harrison?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, it was rude of me not to introduce you," Dr. Smith smiled. "This way, my dear."

He led her down another hallway to a door. Punching in a security code, the door opened revealing a darkened room. Despite the darkness, Catherine could easily make out the cylindrical shape of the cryotube due to a faint light being emitted from the inside of it. A couple of panels displaying Harrison's vital signs on the side of it were also illuminated. Dr. Smith commanded the computer system to fully illuminate the room.

"Come on," he led her further into the room. "No need to be shy. He won't bite," Dr. Smith teased. As they both came to the side of the cryotube, after doing a couple quick checks on Harrison's biological readings, he beamed, "Lieutenant Troi, meet Commander Harrison. I can see here he's doing very well. His neural readings are now at baseline, and I expect things to run without a hitch tomorrow."

"Excellent. Tomorrow will definitely be a big day," Catherine remarked. She edged a little closer to get a better look at Harrison. "He looks so sad."

"Get used to it. He almost always looks somber like that. Sometimes I wonder about him and the other agents. I worry about their psychological and emotional health. They put them through a lot."

"I was looking at his medical files that you uploaded to my PADD, and, my word, the injuries he has sustained. I do not know how he does it," she gasped in awe.

"Supposedly he gets some of the worst missions, and yet, somehow he thrives. I only started to treat him as a patient after all of those injuries. Sometimes I wonder if they have some kind of agenda against him or if he just enjoys being a glutton for punishment."

"Doctor, did you notice anything odd about those injuries documented in his file?"

"Like what? That is, other than the fact that he looked like he'd been in multiple wars over the course of two months?"

"Unless there were documentation errors, some of those injuries occurred to the same areas of his body over a very short period of time, a matter of a few days in some cases, and yet, none of the photos show that they are present simultaneously."

"You mean the photos make it look like he healed over the matter of a couple of days?"

"Yes, and that can't possibly be right! Maybe I was just reading the files incorrectly. I was pretty tired."

"No, I think I'll take a look at those files again sometime. Maybe it was just a documentation error. That does sound very odd. Anyways, as I was saying, I worry about agents like him that are overworked. What I want to know is if they're ticking time bombs."

"That's a possibility, I suppose. We still see cases of post traumatic stress disorder even now."

"Right. What I'm afraid of is one of these guys just losing it someday and harming themselves or worse the rest of the public or us. You know, like Marcus, I do tend to pick on Harrison a lot for his peculiarities, but unlike the admiral, I do genuinely feel sorry for him sometimes. Some of his wounds I've treated, I've thought about what it might be like to go home to one's quarters and not have someone to look after you. All of his family is dead, and I do not get the impression that he has any friends. Like I said earlier, he always looks so sad and serious. I do not think I've ever seen the man smile. Well, like Marcus said, maybe you can figure him out a little."

"I'm starting to think that our patient needs more than just a nurse," she sighed. "Sounds like what he needs is a friend. I know there's a certain line we aren't supposed to cross in the patient-caregiver relationship in addition to the fact that he's our colleague, but maybe we can try to help him out."

"It's a thought. Oh well, for now let's just worry about getting him back in running order. I have some meetings and a conference the rest of the day. Any information you might need should be in your PADD. There's even a map of the complex so you can find the cafeteria if you don't care for replicator food from the lab here, but feel free to get out and try some of the local eateries. If you have any questions, just send me a text, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. The address to your new quarters is in your PADD, so you should be able to get a taxi there. So, with that, I will go ahead and leave you to get yourself oriented to the lab and whatever else you want to work on to prepare for tomorrow."

"Alright, sounds like a plan. If I don't hear from you, I'll see you here bright and early tomorrow morning."

Dr. Smith left Catherine in the room with Harrison. She put her equipment down on a nearby desk and walked back over to Harrison's cryotube. She gently placed her hand on the glass surface over Harrison's chest. _"You poor man,"_ she thought to herself. _"What have they really been doing to you?"_ She almost could sense his heart slowly beating under her hand despite it being nowhere near his chest. _"And yet, you are even more beautiful in person than your pictures let on. John…" _she felt surprised as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Quickly brushing it away with the back of her hand. _"Okay, that is enough of that!" _she scolded herself. _"He's unconscious. I can't possibly be sensing any emotions from him right now!"_

Other than during her breaks, she remained in the room with Harrison the entire day finding his sleeping form to be somewhat comforting in her new, unfamiliar surroundings. After Catherine wrapped up for the day, she went to her new quarters. The place was furnished, thankfully, which helped make it appear to be not quite so empty, but at the moment, she really did not care. She had other things weighing on her mind.

"Janice, I'm in London!"

"How is it?"

"Well, honestly, I haven't really had a chance to see much of it. I'm already really busy trying to get caught up."

"Oh well, you're going to be there a while. You'll have time to see the sights. What's wrong?" Janice asked noting Catherine looked upset.

"Torchwood. Harkness."

"Trouble already?"

"Let me just put it this way. I haven't had the opportunity to interact with him yet, but I did meet him."

"And?"

"More handsome than Captain Jack, the Doctor, and even Captain Kirk."

"What does Harkness look like?"

"Remember what I said about him sounding like a macho Sherlock. He even looks like a macho Sherlock minus the mop of curls."

"No way!"

"Yes!" she moaned and put her head down.

"Try not to worry about him. Just try to focus. Be like Sherlock and be married to your work. And then, if something is meant to happen, it will happen."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"You don't seem so enthusiastic about it. Is something else wrong?"

"I just feel like something fishy is going on with him, like there's more than what they're telling me. It just feels very uncomfortable."

"Well, you better than anyone will ultimately be able to figure that out."

"I suppose…"


	5. Good Morning, Vietnam!

**A/N: Thank you to my kind reviewers. I have a couple exchanges here in tribute to the _Star Trek_ episode "Space Seed" and to a scene in _Sherlock_. Kudos to those of you who can pick them out! :)**

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5. Good Morning, Vietnam!

(Listening track selection: "London Calling" by Michael Giacchino)

Catherine got up bright and early the next day. They were planning on beginning to reanimate Commander Harrison at 0700 in order to try to start him off with as normal of a sleep-wake cycle as possible. Walking to the Kelvin Memorial Archives, she paused and flipped up the collar of her long coat and hugged it closer to her trying to shield herself from the chilly morning London fog before continuing onward pulling a small wheeled suitcase behind her. As she was the only nurse, Dr. Smith asked her to stay overnight for a couple of days to monitor and care for Harrison. He did not foresee him needing much attention during the night, so Catherine did not mind losing a couple of hours of sleep waking up here and there to do the job.

Arriving at the lab, she discovered that Dr. Smith had not yet arrived. After hanging her coat up and putting her suitcase in a small, furnished room with a bathroom where she would stay at night, she walked down to the room containing Harrison's cryotube and turned on the light. _"Hi there, Sleeping Beauty," _she thought as she took a quick peek at his sleeping form. _"Time to wake up soon. Better get to work,"_ she started to gather the supplies they would need for the reanimation process including hyposprays, IV supplies, and medications. She then set to work preparing the infirmary room where he would be staying for a short period of time.

"Good morning," Dr. Smith smiled. "I see you've been busy."

"I didn't want to be late and ended up arriving much earlier than I expected, so I figured I would get a head start."

"Great work. I'm going to run over the cafeteria real quick. Do you want some tea or coffee?"

"Sure, some non-replicated Earl Grey would be nice."

As the pair sipped on their hot beverages, they reviewed the reanimation plan. Once they felt comfortable with the plan and discussed how they would handle any potential complications, they set to work. Dr. Smith punched in a few commands onto a side panel causing the glass lid to open and retract exposing Harrison to the air. He only had on a small pair of black boxer briefs to preserve his dignity.

"You may insert the IV and start running the normal saline solution," Dr. Smith instructed. "I'll start deactivating the program."

Catherine gently took Harrison's large, left hand into her own. She lightly fingered the smooth, cold flesh on the back of his hand to feel his veins in order to choose an appropriate IV site. His fingers were long, and the tips were lightly calloused. After washing her hands and putting on a pair of gloves, she applied a tourniquet to his forearm and cleaned with an alcohol swab the site she intended to insert the cannula before inserting the needle into the vein. Successfully starting the IV, she connected the bag of fluids that she had prepared earlier and started running it per Dr. Smith's instruction. Despite the advanced technology available, some things were just done easier the old way.

The first phase of the process was quite slow, or at least it felt slow to Catherine. The main goal was to reheat Harrison to normal body temperature. As soon as this was achieved, the pair prepared for the second and final phase. Catherine stood on one side with Dr. Smith on the other.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded. "Injecting epinephrine and Barclay's solution," he put a hypospray to Harrison's neck and injected the medications. Harrison's vital signs started to pick up, the readings causing the medical scanners to start to beep and blip more loudly and rapidly. Catherine could see his chest start to rise and fall more markedly and steadily. "Please commence with scanning his heart. Remember, we're trying to ensure there aren't any ischemic changes due to inadequate oxygen intake."

Catherine reached across to hold her scanner over Harrison's chest. Almost like a flash of lightning, his eyes shot open, his face full of rage as he grabbed hold of her wrist squeezing with all of his might. "Please stop!" she gasped feeling as if the bones in her wrist would snap at any moment. "Get him to stop!"

"Harrison!" Dr. Smith tried to shake him to get his attention.

"I don't think he's actually conscious," she reached with her other hand and tried to pry open his fingers. "I do not sense any meaningful or purposeful thought activity. Ah!" she hissed as he squeezed harder. "It's like a reflex!" tears began to fill her eyes.

"Hold on, I'll draw up a neuromuscular blocker to relax his muscles!" Dr. Smith scrambled to fill a hypospray.

"I think my wrist is going to-" Catherine stopped as they both heard a loud snap before she cried out in pain.

"I'm so sorry! Here, you inject his arm with this one," he handed her a hypospray with a muscle relaxer as he used a separate one to administer a sedative. After both medications were injected, Harrison's eyes drifted shut and his grip weakened before his arm fell limp beside him.

Catherine cradled her broken wrist with tears streaming down her cheeks. "We certainly didn't expect that to happen," she sniffled.

"No, that was not expected at all. Here, let me see," he started to scan her wrist, which was quickly turning a dark shade of purple. "A simple, closed fracture of the ulna. It does not need reset, and this should be a quick, easy fix." He held an osteoregenerator over her wrist. "Not completely healed, but you won't need to immobilize it unless it's uncomfortable. For now, I'll give you a small dose of good old morphine for the pain."

The pair continued to work onwards to successful reanimation despite the hitch in the plans. Soon, Harrison's vitals were running almost at normal limits, and his skin became warm to the touch. They transferred him to the infirmary once they decided he was stable.

"I suppose we have the sedative to thank for him not waking up fully just yet," Catherine stated.

"He's experiencing normal sleep at the moment due to the sedative, but otherwise we appear to have been successful."

"How long do you think he'll sleep like this?"

"There's no way of saying for sure. I expect that it will take longer for the medication to metabolize and be excreted by his body given the fact that we just reanimated him. I'll keep an eye on him. Why don't you go ahead and take a break and get some lunch. Take it easy with that wrist."

Later that afternoon, confident that Harrison remained stable albeit sedated, Dr. Smith provided Catherine with instructions regarding his care for the next 24 hours as he was flying out to Berlin to meet personally with Admiral Marcus and his staff to report on the results of the reanimation. If she had any questions or if there was a change in Harrison's status, she could easily reach Dr. Smith via a secure comm link that directly reached his PADD.

"In the event that he codes and you need assistance, there are some staff available in medical genetics down the hall that can help you until he is stabilized. I highly doubt, however, that this will happen. He's doing wonderfully thus far despite us having to drug him," he instructed on his way out the door. "I'll check in with you this evening to see how things are going."

Catherine went into the infirmary to do a quick check on Harrison. Assured that he remained stable, she pulled out a med pack and set it up on a bedside table by the biobed wanting to be prepared in the event of a sudden emergency. She gently pulled the blankets up further to make sure he was warm enough before going to the lab to work on her notes on the reanimation procedure. As she typed away, she thought she heard a sound come from the infirmary. Suddenly an alarm started to beep.

Stretching a bit, she got out of her chair to check and see if something was awry. Everything appeared to be the way she left it except for the blankets and a loose electrode that had come off of his chest triggering the alarm. She walked up and felt that Harrison's arm was cold. After replacing the electrode and as she was pulling up the blankets again, Harrison suddenly opened his eyes and launched himself towards her grabbing her by the throat and holding a scalpel from the med pack to her neck.

"Well, either choke me or cut my throat. Make up your mind," she rasped nervously.

"Where am I?" a baritone British voice rumbled seemingly unaffected by two months of cryogenic stasis.

"You're…" she choked. "You're hurting me."

Harrison let go of her throat, and grabbing her by the front of her dress pulled her closer to his face. "Where am I?" he repeated slowly, his voice rumbling deeper as he pressed the blade of the scalpel lightly to the skin of her neck.

"You're in bed holding a knife to your nurse's throat," she replied smartly holding back the tears in her eyes. "It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the ear."

"Answer my question, woman!" he shook her causing some of her hair to fall loosely from her ponytail.

"You're at the Section 31 base in London," a tear trickled down her cheek. With her reply, he let the scalpel slip from his grasp and fall to the floor with a small clang. "You've been in cryogenic stasis for two months. We just reanimated you this morning." He let go of her dress, but she remained inches away from his face. At that moment, she immediately could sense a change in his emotion changing from rage and confusion to embarrassment and remorse.

His features softening, he reached up and gently wiped away the tear off of her cheek with his thumb before reaching down and taking hold of her hand. "I am truly sorry," he pulled her hand to his lips and placed a chaste kiss on the back of it. "Did I hurt you, nurse?"

"No, I don't think so, but you startled me terribly," her voice still trembling and a little raspy, she stood up and straightened and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress where he grabbed her with her hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline rush.

"No, no, I did harm you. Your neck is starting to bruise," he gently stroked some of her loose hair away from her neck.

"Oh, it will go away."

"And I frightened you," his eyes full of concern despite retaining a stern brow.

"It was only a misunderstanding. In your line of work, I'm sure you're always on high alert."

"Please," he scooted over a bit and patted the side of the bed, "have a seat until you can recover your faculties. I am sure you already know my name, but you have me at the disadvantage as I do not know yours."

Catherine reluctantly sat on the edge of the bed. Although she could sense no ill intent on his part, she still felt a bit leery about sitting next to a patient on their bed. "Lieutenant Catherine Troi," she replied as she poured him a glass of water and handed it to him. "You need to increase your liquid intake," she instructed him.

"It has been two months, and I have probably missed much," he took a sip of water. "I take it Dr. Smith's experiment has been a success?"

"Well, here you are awake and alive. I will be working with you daily to determine if there are any long-term negative effects and to monitor your return to activity."

"How long am I to remain in bed?"

"Anxious to get back to work already? You just woke up!" she smiled feeling comfortable with him sensing he was relaxed.

"I have very critical projects that are now two months behind. I need to resume my work as soon as possible."

"Admiral Marcus was right. You are a workaholic," she teased.

"I take it he will be overseeing your work as well?" he glared. Catherine nodded before sensing him become angry again. "I would take anything he says with a grain of salt. Just be careful with him," he warned taking another sip of water. "So, when can I resume my work?"

"Well, since you are so insistent to find out, you are to remain in bed for at least the next 24 to 48 hours, but I can see if Dr. Smith is comfortable with you resuming some of your work while confined here."

"Thank you, I would greatly appreciate that," he seemed to lightly smile. "What exactly will you be doing while I recover?"

"For now, I will continue to monitor your vital signs and administer any medications as needed. I will assist you with any activities of daily living like eating, washing, dressing, and such that you may not be able to carry out on your own due to any residual weakness."

"That will be unnecessary."

"Why is that?"

"I am not weak. I am better."

"Better at what?"

"Everything."

"Well, we'll just see about that," she challenged him with a sly smile. "We will be training together."

"Oh?" he arched his eyebrow.

"You will be providing me with some physical training, and I will be tracking your recovery at the same time."

"Killing two birds with one stone."

"Just try your best not to kill me. I am in shape, but not anywhere near in shape as you," she laughed as she pulled up her sleeves and crossed her arms.

"Speaking of killing, what happened to your arm? Who harmed you? Someone clearly grabbed you," he asked lightly touching her deeply bruised wrist causing her to wince and draw it back from his touch.

"Um…" she hesitated.

"Was it Admiral Marcus?" he growled.

"No, he's in San Francisco, and this happened this morning. I was just being clumsy, and trip-" she attempted to lie before he cut her off.

"I did this, did I not? It is broken. Tell me the truth."

"Yes, Commander, but you were unconscious. It was just a reflex. I certainly have no doubts about your strength as you have quite a grip! It is already healing, though, so no frets."

"I am not making a very good first impression on you, Lieutenant Troi," he took her arm in his hands before gently kissing the bruised area.

"I, uh, need to go get my tricorder. It's time to check your vital signs again," she quickly pulled her arm away and dashed out of the room. As the door closed behind her, Catherine backed up against the wall breathing rapidly putting her hand to her chest. _"Oh holy Mary! Is he flirting with me? I can't completely read his emotions. He's all over the place! What is his story?"_ After calming down, Catherine grabbed her tricorder and returned to check his vital signs.

"I am making you uncomfortable, Lieutenant. Please forgive me. I am behaving inappropriately." She did manage to sense that he was sincere.

"Oh, no, I-"

"Your heart was racing, and your eyes became dilated. You were becoming a bit frazzled. Again, I am sorry. Perhaps it is because it has been a very long time since I have had the opportunity to behold such a lovely woman."

"Thank you, Commander," she blushed. "And please, you may call me Catherine if you wish. I don't care much for formalities."

"Call me, John, then."

"So, John," she started scanning him, "you don't have a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? No, not really my area."

"Alright, do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way."

"I know it is fine," he replied flatly.

"So you got a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Right, okay. You're unattached like me. Fine. Good," she moved the scanner around.

"Catherine, I think you should know that right now I consider myself married to my work, but…"

"But?"

"Given the right circumstances, that could always change."


	6. Destati

**A/N: "Destati" is Italian for "awake" or "awakenings." From here on, the story will primarily refer to "John" rather than "Harrison" to show how Catherine begins to view him as a person rather than just a patient or test subject. There are a couple direct quotes from real people, and I have a couple footnotes to give credit to those people. Enjoy!**

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6. Destati

(Listening track selection: "2-1" by Imogen Heap)

Catherine updated Dr. Smith on John's status that evening and notified him that he had finally awakened from the sedative they had given him earlier. She did not, however, mention that John tried to kill her in the process.

"Go ahead and order him a very light meal from the replicator," Dr. Smith instructed. "If he stomachs that just fine, you can gradually advance his diet starting tomorrow morning."

"Right, we do not want him to overdo it as his GI tract motility will probably not quite be up to par just yet. He asked if he could resume working on some of his projects while hospitalized. I told him I wanted to get your thoughts on it first."

"Thank you for asking, and sure, he can work in bed all he wants. Just make sure to have him rest if he looks like he's fatiguing himself."

Catherine carried a tray containing a bowl of broth and some toast into the infirmary and quietly placed it on John's bedside table. John was staring off into space deep in thought.

"John, are you hungry?" she asked drawing him out of his reverie.

"Why yes, thank you," he pulled the table closer. "That's it?" he scrunched his nose lightly in annoyance.

"Unfortunately, for now, yes, that is all, but, if you tolerate this meal well, tomorrow we can start getting you back to regular food."

"These precautions are unnecessary," he clenched his jaw. Catherine frowned noting his disgust. "I usually do not require much in terms of nourishment, but at the moment, I do need food of some sort of substance if I am to recover quickly. I need meat," he lowly growled before pausing and looking at the tray of food again. "For you, however," he sighed, "I will comply," he picked up a piece of the toast and took a small bite.

"I'm sorry that it's not what you wanted and to disappoint you," she empathized. "I do have some good news, though," she brightened and smiled sparking John's interest, causing him to raise a brow. "Dr. Smith did say that it is quite alright for you to get back to some of your work on the condition that you do not fatigue yourself."

"Excellent! If you could do me the favor of retrieving my PADD, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Of course."

"It should be in the supply room with my personal effects."

"You keep eating," Catherine instructed before walking down the hall to retrieve the PADD. She quickly returned with the requested object as well as his robe and a pair of black lounge pants. "Wow, you're done already?" she noted that his tray was devoid of food. "Here you go. I figured you would be a little more comfortable in these," she showed him the garments.

"Ah, yes," he grabbed the lounge pants and quickly flung aside the covers jumping off the biobed before Catherine could scold him otherwise. "Problem?" he asked noting her mouth was agape and that she was staring at him.

"Umm, well," she turned away her gaze having caught herself staring at his nearly nude muscular form as he pulled up the pants, "I was going to tell you to let me help you," she explained as she held out the robe, "but do, please, take it easy," she stepped forward to guard his stance as he slung the robe over his shoulders.

"Nurse, I am fine," he insisted. "Here, I'll take that," he reached for the PADD that she had under her arm.

"Back to bed first."

"Very well," he groaned and jumped back onto the biobed and got comfortable.

"I'll leave you to your work and check on you in a while," she handed him the PADD.

Catherine left John to his work as she returned to her own. _"Vital signs slightly elevated but within normal limits. Heart rate, rhythm normal. Breath sounds normal in all lobes. Neurological functions intact. Denies headache, dizziness. Pupils equal, round, reactive to light, and accommodation. Abdomen soft, nontender. Patient consumed 100% of his meal, 1000 ml liquids. Denies nausea, pain. Skin warm, intact, normal colorization for ethnicity," _she typed her nursing note away feverishly. _"Affect tends to be flat but responds to humor, mood labile. Patient displays moments of aggression…" _she paused thinking whether or not to note his act of violence towards her earlier, _"but is able to self-calm and does not act upon his feelings," _she lied.

Before Catherine realized it, looking at the time it was almost 2230. "No wonder I'm so tired," she thought aloud. _"And feeling a little guilty," _she remembered her deceit. _"He hadn't meant to harm me. He was just frightened and confused,"_ she rationalized. _"Better go check on him."_

Catherine knocked lightly on the doorway of the infirmary. "Enter," John commanded.

"John, it's getting late, and both of us should probably get some rest," she stood beside the biobed doing another scan of his vitals.

"I do not need rest. Rest is unnecessary. I've been resting for the past two months," he replied flatly as he typed away on his PADD.

"But-"

He interrupted her looking up from his PADD, "Do you always follow rules and orders to the letter out of fear of retribution from your superiors or do you do it because you feel it makes sense and is the right thing to do?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," she put her tricorder and scanner down as she tried to read his emotions.

"Miss Catherine," he took hold of her hand, "there may come a day when you will have to disobey orders and betray the oaths you have sworn to uphold because you know within your heart that everything you've been told is wrong and a lie. Will you follow your head or your heart?"

"John, I do not think they would ever ask me to do something immoral and unethical."

"Do not be so naïve to believe that everyone in Section 31 has the best interests of humanity in mind. There is more going on here than meets the eye, and one day, your eyes will be opened to that. One day, you too will be awakened as I have. For all you know, you may even now be unknowingly participating in something that goes against all you know is right and just."

"Are you suggesting that Admiral Marcus and Section 31 members are violating every regulation they vowed to uphold simply because they want to exploit me?"

"Intelligence agencies keep things secret because they often violate the rule of law or of good behavior.***** What do they not want you to know? And how did they get to know it? Does the exposure of their techniques cause a threat to our security or does it just cause them embarrassment?****** You think your world is safe? It is an illusion, a comforting lie told to protect you. Marcus is right, the 23rd century is when everything changes, and you need to be ready, Catherine. Darkness is coming. Tell me, would you be willing to do anything to protect those you hold most dear? Would you be willing even to murder to save the lives of those you love? You cannot even break a rule. How could you be expected to break bones?" his eyes narrowed as his voice deepened.

"Excuse me, I need some fresh air," Catherine tore her hand from his grasp and suddenly dashed out of the room and headed to the turbolift in order to go outside. Running out into the chilled night air, she ran a few feet down the sidewalk from the main entrance before stopping to gasp and clamp her hand over her mouth in order to hold in a sob. She could not understand what made her more upset, his words or the utter sincerity that he used when he spoke them. _"He's one of their best. Would he lie about such things? But he's not lying! There is no deceit coming from him at all. He either knows about my abilities and can deceive me, or he is telling me the truth." _She managed to calm herself down. _"Why am I letting him get under my skin like this?"_

Meanwhile, back in the infirmary, John was a bit taken aback by Catherine's flight despite the gravity of his words. _"Are all women this sensitive?" _he groaned inwardly as he hopped off the biobed and walked down the hall to the supply room where some of his other belongings were being kept. _"Surely not, for all the women I knew growing up were not flighty and prone to hysterics,"_ he noted as he found a shirt, his boots, and his coat. _"Why would Marcus want someone so weak to work for Section 31? Her fear will assuredly cost someone his or her life if not her own. Then again, her obedience and willingness to submit makes her the perfect puppet. Perhaps there is a method to Marcus' madness," _he walked out of the lab after donning the articles he had found. _"And maybe this puppet needs a new master,"_ he took the turbolift to the main floor.

Catherine stood quietly wiping the tears from her face with one hand while wrapping her other arm around herself in an attempt to keep warm. She suddenly felt a presence behind her.

"You really are underdressed for this weather," a now familiar voice spoke causing her to turn around.

"John, what are you doing? You should not be up let alone out here in weather like this!" she scolded as her teeth chattered.

"And neither should you," he took his coat off and put it around her shoulders. "It is not safe for a woman to be alone on the streets of London at this hour. Please, come back inside. I fear that I have once again upset you. I assure you that it was not my intention. I suppose tact is not one of my strengths. I only want you to know what you have gotten yourself into. I want you to be prepared. That is my assignment, is it not?"

"Yes, I suppose it is," she wrapped his coat around herself tighter noting that his scent lingered on the collar. "I only thought that they wanted you to oversee my physical training."

"When you accepted this job they told you that you would never be expected to participate in combat, correct?" he offered her his arm.

"Right," she linked her arm with his as they began to walk back to the main entrance of the archives. "They told me that it was highly unlikely but that they still want all staff to be prepared to at least be able to defend themselves."

"Catherine," he stopped and faced her placing his hands on her arms, his breath misting in the cold air as he said her name. "War is on the horizon. I know that nothing is being said of this by anyone in Starfleet Command, but I am telling you the truth. Come, we should not speak of such things out here," he looked around to make sure they were not being watched.

Upon returning to the lab, he had her sit at one of the tables. "Thank you for giving me your coat," she said softly as she shrugged it off of her shoulders and handed it to him.

"Would you like something warm to drink?"

"Some tea would be nice."

"Any kind in particular?"

"Earl Grey." John walked to the replicator and ordered a cup of Earl Grey for her and a cup of Darjeeling for himself. "How do you know all of this? How do you know there is going to be war?" she asked before blowing gently on her tea to cool it.

"Marcus has me designing advanced weaponry and starships. He probably has told you that Section 31's goal is to be prepared to fight in defense. He does not know, however, that I have intercepted intelligence during some of my missions that would indicate quite the opposite."

"He means to start a war?"

"Yes, that is what I have deduced."

"With who?"

"Most likely the Klingons."

"Things have always been rather tense between the Federation and the Klingon Empire."

"And the Klingons are incredibly susceptible at the moment making the time ripe to strike. Their homeworld, Kronos, is dying. In their greed, using Nero's ship they overmined their moon, Praxis, for dilithium. Praxis exploded several months ago. It is estimated that the oxygen on Kronos will be depleted in about fifty Earth years. Due to the Klingon Empire's enormous military budget, they do not have adequate resources to deal with this catastrophe."

"And so they either need to expand their empire and resettle or die."

"Exactly, and they would have nothing to lose in battle. To them, it would be better to die by the sword than to die by starvation or suffocation. Better to stamp them out while they are weak and disorganized, no?"

"That's horrible! An entire race decimated? Do you really support that?"

"I personally do not have a strong opinion on the matter. I only know what is excellent strategy in war. Have you ever met a Klingon?"

"Actually, no."

"They're foul-smelling brutes."

"But they have such a strong heritage and a culture that thrives on honor! It would be a terrible loss. No life should be snuffed out because they are deemed inconvenient, inadequate, or in this case, inhuman!" she raised her voice. "Besides, John, why are you telling me these things? You just met me. What does any of this have to do with me? I'm just a nurse."

"You're not just a nurse. You are my nurse. As you will be at my side as I continue my own work, you may possibly be put in the path of danger. It is only right that you know the truth."

"I see," she played with her mug of tea. "Why do you trust me, though? I am a complete stranger to you."

"I trust you because I can tell that you are a superior woman."

"Pardon?"

"Despite me breaking your wrist, you stayed at your post and stayed here alone to care for me. Despite your fear, you stood your ground and showed strength when I attempted to take your life. Despite my repeated failings and offenses towards you, you still treat me kindness and concern. And your little display of compassion and fervor, just now," his usually cold exterior softened, "for a people you have never met, that are not even human, shows me that, if the opportunity arose, you would disobey orders to stand up for what is right." Sipping his Darjeeling, his facial features turned cold once again as he sat straight up, "Well, enough of this. I will demonstrate in the morning how to alter the records to show that I did not leave the lab."

"A lie?"

"An omission," he smiled slyly.

"Do you alter records often?"

"Only when necessary. Sometimes ignorance is bliss especially in this field," he sighed as he took a seat across from her. "You look exhausted," he noted before sipping his Darjeeling again.

"I am pretty tired. I guess the past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind, though. Last week I just finished up a research study at Starfleet Medical in San Francisco. I went with my family to Betazed on leave to take a break, but shortly into my vacation I was summoned to start my work here."

"I think you're the one needing rest and not me."

"Well, you do seem to be doing just fine, but you need to be careful. If you push yourself too hard you might exacerbate the symptoms of your post-neural shock syndrome."

"My what?"

"You don't remember? They didn't mention if you lost consciousness or were amnesic to the event. You were hit with a plasma burst and developed post-neural shock syndrome."

"Oh, right, that's what happened," he lied as Catherine could sense his deception.

"Look, I know you're doing well, but, it would make my life a lot easier if you could just follow Dr. Smith's recommendations for your recovery at least until he sees you tomorrow. I feel like it reflects upon me poorly as a nurse when my patient is noncompliant. If you're so concerned about me getting rest, you will behave yourself and stay in bed thus preventing me from tossing and turning worrying that you might have a medical emergency due to your refusal to listen to doctor's orders. Let's face it, if I were you, I wouldn't want to have to rely on staff from the genetics department to show up and save my life," she rolled her eyes.

"Not all geneticists are that incompetent and inexperienced. I knew one that I would have turned to in a heartbeat to save my life," he frowned. Catherine could sense grief in his voice.

"What happened to them?"

"She died when her lab exploded. It was never determined if it was an accident, sabotage, or an act of terrorism," he looked down at his cup of tea trying to hide his emotions.

"She must have been very special to you. I'm sorry. I hope I did not offend you with my words."

"No offense taken. She had a beautiful heart, so much potential. She was like a mother to me." John quickly drank the rest of his Darjeeling. "Well, I suppose I'll get back into bed if that would please you," he tried to smile.

"Oh yes, I would greatly appreciate that," she stood up and followed him into the infirmary to reattach his electrodes and do one final check of his vital signs before turning in for the night. "If anything goes wrong, the scanners will set off an alarm in my room, but if you need anything, please do not hesitate to signal my comm system to ask. I don't want to have to peel you off of the floor or anything."

"Too much paperwork?" he grinned as she completed her scans.

"Yes, full-scale incident report!" she smiled before turning to walk out the door.

"Catherine?"

"Yes, John?"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, John."

*****Julian Assange

******Benedict Cumberbatch


	7. Radioactive

**A/N: Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers for your kind words and encouragement!**

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7. Radioactive

(Listening track selection: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons)

Catherine awoke around 0200 to do her scheduled check on John. Stretching and putting a lab coat over her pajamas and sliding on her slippers, she walked slowly down the dim hallway to the infirmary. The lights in the infirmary were turned off, but as the doors quietly opened, Catherine could see the faint glow of John's PADD emanating from the room.

"Still working?" she asked as she noted he was wide-awake and working away on his PADD.

"I know you want me to rest, but to be honest, I just can't sleep. I'm not tired. Besides, I have so much to catch up on after being out of commission for two months."

"It's okay, John. If you're not tired, then you're just not tired. We started your reanimation at 0700 in hopes of giving you as natural of a sleep-wake cycle as possible, but when you latched on to my wrist and wouldn't let go, Dr. Smith had to give you a sedative. So, things didn't quite go as we had planned. Anyways, he said that you could work as long as you're not wearing yourself out."

"How am I doing overall?" he asked as she wrapped up checking his vital signs.

"So far, everything has been perfect. Your heart and respiratory rates seem to run on the higher end of normal, but there's nothing wrong with that. Blood pressure is perfect. You tolerated your supper just fine, so we can advance your diet in the morning."

"You really want to call what I ate a meal?" he sneered.

"Don't worry, breakfast will be much better," she said before yawning.

"If you are finished, I will not delay you from getting back to sleep any longer," he insisted.

"Thanks, yes, I'm finished. See you at 0600," she walked out of the infirmary and went to crawl back into bed.

Feeling as if she just fell back asleep, Catherine inwardly groaned as her alarm went off again at 0515. _"May as well get moving," _she clambered out of bed and started the shower in the small bathroom attached to her room.

After getting ready for the day, Catherine walked into the infirmary expecting to see John working. She was quite surprised, however, to see that he had dozed off, his PADD still clutched in his hand with his hair hanging loosely in his face. She smiled as she heard a light snore emanate from his slightly open mouth. She quietly walked to his bedside to perform her morning vitals and other scans. Upon completing her exam, she gently pried the PADD out of his hand, stroked the hair out of his face, and pulled up the covers.

Completing her documentation, she ate a light breakfast from the replicator and then started to read up further on some of the data from the previous experiments from the cryogenics program. She quickly found herself fighting to stay awake. Just as she herself started to doze off, a sudden noise alerted her that John was awake.

Walking into the infirmary, she found John's biobed empty. Hearing water running in the adjacent bathroom, Catherine knocked on the door. "John? What are you doing?"

"I'm getting a shower."

"John," she prepared to scold him.

"I have been asleep for two months. I am fine. I will be out shortly."

"He's going to be the death of me," Catherine huffed under her breath.

"I heard that," John suddenly walked out with only a towel around his waist.

"Oh dear," Catherine turned away and blushed. "I'll be out in the lab. Let me know when you're ready for breakfast," she rushed out of the infirmary.

"_I think I have found the key to mastering her,"_ John thought as he finished drying off and getting dressed. _"She is clearly attracted to me. This revelation will prove to be useful."_

Catherine got some tea from the replicator before sitting and putting her head in her hands. _"I'm making such a fool of myself, and I hate feeling so stupid like this. What have I gotten myself into? What am I doing here?"_

The door to the infirmary opened causing Catherine to look up. John walked out fully dressed and ready for the day. "I'm famished," he stated plainly.

"You said you would show me how to change the records," she glared at him.

"Touché," he nodded his head before walking to the control panel. "It's too easy. They should be embarrassed," he showed her which commands to punch into the panel. "And that's that."

"That was easy. Anything in particular that you would like?"

"No preference. Get me as bountiful a breakfast as permitted. I will be in bed working," he turned around and returned to the infirmary.

Catherine sighed as she went to the replicator. As she was looking through the replicator cards to choose an appropriate breakfast for John, Dr. Smith walked into the lab. "Good morning!" he smiled.

"Thank God," she muttered as she tossed the replicator cards on the counter.

"Something wrong? Is Harrison alright?"

"Physically he's doing great. Keeping him in bed, now that's another story! He's driving me crazy. He's probably fine enough to be up and about, but that's not a call for me to make. I have been constantly worrying that he'll overdo it or hurt himself!"

"Oh, sorry. We warned you he's stubborn," Smith smiled. "So, what are you up to at the moment?"

"I was trying to figure out what to get him for breakfast."

"Here, I'll pick it out for you and then go ahead and examine him."

Catherine used the replicator cards Dr. Smith selected to order John's breakfast. Putting all the food on a tray, she entered the infirmary where the doctor was performing his exam and put the tray down on the bedside table. "Any nausea?" he asked John.

"No."

"Well, that's surprising because I'm picking up a heavy amount of radiation. I did not think of scanning for it yesterday. There must have been a leak in one of the systems in the cryotube. We'll start treatment right away."

"And what of our dear nurse? She has spent many hours with and near me."

"Right, Catherine, I think I better examine you as well."

"Okay," she walked over and got on the biobed next to John's.

"How are you feeling?"

"Understandably tired, but otherwise fine. Wrist is a bit sore still."

"Wrist is healing well," Smith noted scanning her arm. "From where did this bruising come? That wasn't there yesterday," he noted the bruising on the side of her neck.

"I tripped," she lied. "I tripped and John caught me before I could hit the floor. He does have a tight grip you know," she looked past Dr. Smith and saw John look up from his tray of food, his bright eyes boring into her.

"Do be more careful. Commander Harrison may not always be around to break your fall," he chuckled. "You are emanating a low amount of radiation. Not enough that would be harmful, but we'll take care of it just to be sure. Nothing a couple of hours of treatment can't fix."

"I suppose it will give me time to catch up on my documentation. I'll go grab my PADD and be right back," she stated before leaving to retrieve said object. _"Great, I'm stuck in the same room with him for at least two hours straight. I do hope he keeps working and doesn't sit there staring at me." _

Upon returning to the infirmary, Dr. Smith had her get back onto her own biobed next to John's. "Alright, let me adjust a couple of settings here for the scanners," he punched a few commands into the system, "and we'll get you your first dose of hyronalin," he injected the medication with a hypospray. "You two hang tight," he smiled. "I'll be out in the lab if you need anything."

Catherine immediately set to work on her nursing notes in hopes of avoiding any awkward conversations or situations. Much to her relief, John was equally as busy with his own work. Half an hour later noting a sudden silence coming from Catherine's side of the infirmary, John glanced over in her direction only to find her sound asleep with her PADD in her lap. Sliding off his biobed, he took the blanket from the bottom of his own bed, quietly walked to Catherine's side, and covered her with the blanket before returning to his own bed and work.

A bit later, Catherine awoke discovering that John had covered her with his blanket. Pretending that nothing had happened, she pulled out her PADD from under the blanket and resumed her work.

Dr. Smith came back to check on their progress. "Well, looks like you have a tiny residual of radiation left. I'll just give you another dose of hyronalin to be sure," he explained to Catherine before giving her another injection of the medication. "No need to stay here," he permitted her to get out of bed. "Now for you, Harrison," he pulled up the latest bioscans. "Well, that's bizarre," he noted looking at the diagnostics as Catherine slid off her biobed.

"Something wrong?" she asked as John looked up from his PADD and looked at her and the doctor.

"His radiation levels were pretty high, but with only one dose of hyronalin, the radiation is completely gone and his cells show no residual damage," Smith explained.

"But how? That's impossible! Maybe there's something wrong with the equipment," she suggested.

"Right," he agreed. "Computer, run a Level 4 diagnostic on all bioscanning equipment," he commanded the system.

"_No errors detected,"_ the computer system reported causing the two healthcare providers to look at each other with confusion.

"May I get out of bed now?" John asked breaking the silence.

"How are you feeling?" Smith asked.

"Like I'm in a cage."

"Well, I suppose we can let you get up and move around a bit more. You can do some of your work in the lab. Then after lunch we can run some initial endurance and fitness testing to see how you've held up after sleeping for two months. That is, if you're up to it?"

"The sooner we can get this foolishness out of the way so I can get back to my lab and my work, the better."

Catherine and Dr. Smith left John to work in the lab while they went to examine the cryotube and try to determine where the radiation leak originated. "What is going on here?" Smith asked himself out loud.

"You don't think that someone has been tampering with any of our equipment, do you?" Catherine asked.

"While anyone in Section 31 is fully capable of sabotaging our equipment or falsifying data, I do not suspect that this is the case here. Unfortunately, I have no explanation for what's going on here."

"Did you by chance look at his medical records?"

"No, I haven't had the opportunity to look at them yet."

"But you have suspicions about him as well, don't you?"

"Your Betazoid intuitions are correct," he shook his head as he pulled up John's medical records. "Odd, there's no DNA profile in here. Everyone in Section 31 has to submit blood and tissue samples when they join."

"Want a blood sample?" Catherine suggested with a sly look on her face.

"Come to think of it, his electrolytes might be off a bit," Smith smiled and played along. "Better get a sample."

"I'll be right back," she took the syringe Smith handed her and went to collect John's blood. "John, Dr. Smith asked me to collect a blood sample. He wants to see what your current electrolyte levels are like. I think he may also run liver and endocrine panels."

"Very well," John replied as he pulled up his sleeve and held out his forearm.

Catherine returned after successfully collecting the sample. "Well, that was easy, although, I may have lied to him."

"Well, to preserve our integrity, we'll go ahead and run those labs. In the meantime, I'll start running a very detailed DNA analysis. It may take a while."

After Dr. Smith started running the diagnostics on the blood sample, the pair continued to work to find the cause of the radiation leak. They quickly discovered that it was a mere accident due to a flaw in the connection of one of the lines in the built-in backup generator. Upon completing the documentation of their findings and reporting the information to the bioengineering lab, they went to inquire if John was ready for lunch.

"Commander Harrison, would you like something to eat? You can go ahead and have anything you want now since you have been tolerating your meals."

"Yes, I will get myself something to my liking," he walked to the replicator, looked through the replicator cards, and selected chicken curry, naan, and Darjeeling.

"You enjoy Indian cuisine?" Catherine asked as she sat across from John at the table.

"It is my favorite, such a wide variety of spices and flavors," John replied dipping his naan in the curry sauce.

"When I visit my friend Janice in Pittsburgh, we always go to our favorite Indian restaurant. You'll have to give me some suggestions for local eateries here in London," she poked at her salad with a fork as Dr. Smith joined them.

After finishing lunch and making sure everyone had enough time to digest their food, Dr. Smith escorted Catherine and John to the physiology lab where they would be checking John's endurance and fitness levels. Peeling off his shirt, John sat in a chair so Catherine could attach various electrodes and probes to his chest and arms. She then took a baseline scan of his vital signs to use for comparison.

"If you're ready, Harrison," Dr. Smith came over after programming the lab equipment, "we'll start with the treadmill."

John nodded his head and got on the treadmill as Dr. Smith started up the test program. As expected, the program started things off slow in order to ensure John was able to handle physical exercise again. "Does this go any faster?" John sighed in boredom.

"All of your readings are fine, so I suppose I can override the program and manually increase the speed. Any signs of trouble, though, and we're aborting the test immediately," Smith threatened as he turned up the speed dial controlling the treadmill bringing John to a jog before increasing to a full on run.

"Incredible," Catherine thought out loud looking at John's diagnostic readings and comparing them to his pre-cryogenic baseline levels. "There's hardly any deviation in his pre- and post-cryogenic stasis readings. He hasn't become deconditioned at all!"

"He doesn't even look like he's about to fatigue," Smith noted in awe. "What is he? A superman?"

"No, radioactive," she quipped causing them both to chuckle.


	8. I Must Break You

**A/N: This chapter is a bit long, but it just coming out and wouldn't stop! I didn't want to break it into smaller pieces either. Some mild violence, but nothing worse than you would see on something like CSI. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)**

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8. I Must Break You

(Listening track selections: "Break Me Down" and "The Moment We Come Alive" by Red)

Dr. Smith and Catherine discharged John from his inpatient stay late that afternoon after he passed his fitness and endurance testing with flying colors despite the medical providers remaining perplexed at his abilities.

"Whether the equipment is wrong or not, he can't fake what he showed us today," Smith sighed as he plopped in a chair back in the lab after John had left.

"Any theories?" Catherine asked joining him.

"No, not yet. We'll have to wait and see what the DNA analysis shows us. There surely has to be some answers there."

To finish off the week, John had to report from his own lab to the cryogenics lab for Catherine to take further scans and perform exams three times a day. He quickly grew tired of this routine as his results never changed and was glad that the frequency of these appointments only had to last the rest of that week. Catherine sensed his irritation and decided to try to remedy the situation by offering to meet him in his own lab that Friday to perform her scans. Needless to say, John took her up on her offer.

Friday morning, Catherine stood outside the door of John's personal lab and pressed the comm button beside the door signaling her arrival. "Enter," she heard his deep voice direct her as the doors swooshed open. He was standing at a table bent over plans for a starship.

"Good morning," she slowly walked towards the table.

"Morning."

Catherine took in her surroundings gazing at models of various weapons such as phasers and torpedoes, blueprints of starships, and partially fabricated pieces of tactical equipment. "You designed all of this?" she asked in awe.

"Yes, every last piece of it," he looked up.

"How long has it taken you to create all of this?"

"Just a few months," he looked back down at the plans.

"John, that's amazing. You're brilliant," she walked to his side. "What is her name?" she asked referring to the ship plans he was working on as she pulled out her tricorder and medical scanner.

"The _Vengeance_. She's being fabricated just as we speak."

"She's beautiful," she admired the ship's sleek design. "How are you feeling today?" she asked as she scanned him.

"Fine."

"Your blood pressure is slightly elevated. Is something upsetting you?" she asked also sensing that he was tense.

"Just a little stress," he sat down on the stool at the table as she finished her scan.

"Deadlines to meet?"

"You could say that," he sighed lightly as she put her equipment down on the table.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" she cautiously placed her hand on his shoulder feeling that his muscles were tense with stress.

"Just keep performing your duties admirably."

"John," she pulled another stool up and sat by him, "I know things started off between us on the wrong foot, but, please, as your nurse, feel free to tell me anything. You can come to me anytime. I will not divulge your secrets."

"Catherine," he looked up at her, "I'm afraid I cannot tell you anything right now. Lives are in the balance. Thank you, though, for your offer," he got up quietly and went back to work.

"_His eyes are so sad, so tired," _she noted. "You're welcome, John," she also got up and left the lab.

Unsure if she cared and worried for John or couldn't stand him, Catherine walked back to her quarters that evening. "Thank God it's Friday," she sighed kicking off her boots. Happy that two days off were ahead of her as Dr. Smith decided it was unnecessary to have John examined over the weekend, she snuggled up on her couch and quickly fell asleep only to be abruptly startled by her PADD beeping with a high priority incoming message. Sitting up and groaning, she picked up the PADD to read the message.

"_Meet me tomorrow morning at the archives at 0400. Wear your training uniform. – John"_

"Aww, damn it!" she swore out loud and threw a pillow across the room. "Are you kidding me?" she groaned and got up to find her training uniform in her suitcases before getting ready for bed.

Barely able to drag herself out of bed, Catherine got ready and met John exactly at 0400. He looked well rested, his hair neatly slicked back. She, on the other hand, felt like she must have looked like a mess as she tried to tidy her ponytail. "I've been waiting," he complained crossing his arms.

"I'm on time, John," she creaked, her voice clearly betraying her fatigue. "I'm supposed to be off today, you know."

"And when I'm in the field fighting for my life, do you think I get a day off?" he sneered.

"No."

"Shall we begin?" he turned and started to walk away.

"Where are we going?" she ran to catch up with him.

"El Capitan." John led her to a waiting shuttle. Letting her get in first and having her sit, he then took the pilot's seat.

"You didn't tell me to bring anything," she protested.

"You won't need anything," he punched in commands to the navigation controls.

"How long are we going to be there?"

"Just long enough."

"What are we going to do?"

"Your training," he spat and looked at her with an annoyed expression that made her feel like an idiot.

Catherine looked out the window trying to the hide the fact that he hurt her feelings and did not utter another sound the entire shuttle ride to Yosemite Valley in California. The sun was barely starting to rise as he landed the shuttle. Opening the doors, he led her out of the shuttle into the pale morning light.

"Start running," he commanded her.

"What?"

"Start running!" he pulled out a phaser from behind him under his shirt.

"John, are you crazy?" she questioned him unable to read his emotions.

"I said," he charged the phaser, "start running and don't stop until I tell you!" he shouted before taking aim and shooting at the ground by her feet.

Catherine turned and started to run through the forest unsure of which direction to go. _"I can't sense his intentions. Then again, I do not think that I've ever been this afraid in my life. My fear must be clouding my judgment," _she thought as she dodged trees left and right.

She ran until she felt like she could run no more. Stopping to try to catch her breath, she listened to her surroundings unsure if John had followed her. Suddenly, she felt a phaser pressed to her back. "I didn't tell you to stop," she heard him growl lowly in her ear as he charged the phaser again.

"_How in the world did he creep up on me like that?" _Catherine thought fighting to hold back tears of pain as she bolted off again, the lactic acid burning her leg muscles. She ran a couple more miles and through a cold brook before she finally tripped over a small boulder and collapsed in a pile in exhaustion and pain. She knew her pants were torn and knees were cut and bleeding, but she did not care anymore. She just wanted to be with her parents on Betazed on vacation or anywhere, for that matter, away from here and from him. She could hear some leaves rustling and thought she heard a set of footsteps approaching her location.

"You can stop now," John stated coldly as he reached the clearing where she had fallen.

"What is wrong with you? You're insane!" she shouted at him as she struggled to sit up. "Why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing but help you!" she grabbed a small tree branch off the ground and threw it in his direction.

"Catherine, Catherine," he knelt down, the morning sunrise behind him, "I must break you."

"Why? What do you mean?" she wiped the tears off her cheeks with the backs of her hands as she sat on the forest floor.

"You are a superior woman, Catherine, intelligent, but you doubt yourself. Your doubts make you weak. Why do you doubt yourself?" he brushed some of the dirt off her arm.

"I do no such thing," she spat back pulling her arm away from his touch with her eyes full of rage.

"Ah, but you do. You are full of passion. Even now I can see it in your eyes. And yet, you dare not confront others when it matters most. I know you have questions. I've overheard your conversations with our dear doctor. Why not go to Admiral Marcus yourself and ask him? Demand for him to tell you what is going on. You must become ruthless."

"I can't just do that! It's against regulations!" she rolled her eyes.

"Quite true. No, you can't just yet as the time is not right. At some point, however, when it matters the most, you may need to do it. Will you be ruthless and demand answers, or will you cower around whispering questions to the dark?" he held out his hand offering to help her up.

"What was the point of this particular exercise?" she took his hand as he pulled her up.

"Besides breaking you?"

"Yes," she brushed the dirt off her pants and winced seeing her bloody knees.

"If you are not going to fight in combat, then at least you need to be able to run."

"What if I want to fight?" she looked at him her eyes emblazoned with the passion he mentioned earlier.

John smiled seeing her enthusiasm, "Then I will teach you. First, let us go back to the shuttle and get you patched up."

After John helped her clean and tend to her cut knees and they took a moment to have a small snack, John led her to a nearby clearing. "Now what?" she put her hands on her hips.

"You want to be able to fight, do you not?"

"At least enough to defend myself and pack a little punch if needed."

"Very well," he suddenly turned and threw a punch in her direction causing her to duck. "Good, you have that down," he smiled. After a couple of hours of John teaching her various defensive moves and counterattacks, the pair were easily able to spar with each other moving together almost in a dance-like fashion. "You catch on quickly. I think we can move on to the last part of your training for the day."

"El Capitan?"

"Yes, let's go back to the shuttle and get the equipment."

Having gathered their climbing gear from the shuttle, the pair started their climb up the cliff face. "I enjoy climbing, but I have not climbed anything this high."

"I'm sure you haven't been this physically tired either," he looked down at her as she followed behind him.

"No, probably not," she thought about her aching muscles and her sore healing wrist fracture wondering if this was a good idea or not. As the pair fell silent, Catherine focused on her climbing not noticing that John had gotten quite far ahead of her. Suddenly, she gently pulled on the ropes only to feel them slide loosely and fall past her to the ground. "John!" she panicked.

"Keep climbing!" he called back down to her having already reached the top.

"What did you do?"

"I'm breaking you!" he voice boomed as she just realized that the sky had grown dark with cloud cover.

"I can't do this!" her voice shook as it started to sprinkle a light rain.

"Just keep climbing! Do not think about anything else! Focus!"

Catherine did her best to focus on the climb and to ignore her fear and the rain that started to slowly get harder. Her muscles ached every time she reached over her head or pushed up with her feet. A sharp pain stabbed in her wrist, and she started to wonder if she really did fracture it again when she tripped and fell earlier that day. She started to feel like she was reaching her physical and emotional breaking point. Looking up, she could see that she had only about fifty more feet to climb, but to her, it felt like miles.

"I can't do this, John!" she cried out her eyes full of tears pleading with him as she felt her strength failing.

"You can, Catherine. Reach inside yourself. You can do this," his calm voice commanding but encouraging boomed down at her. "You're stronger than you think. Look at me!" Catherine gazed into his eyes, her arms shaking with the strain. "Come to me, Catherine," he held out his hand despite the distance between them.

She cried out in pain as she pushed herself farther up the cliff face. The rain now was steady, and at times, she struggled to see where to grab hold of the rock next. "John, please," she begged him. "Please throw me a rope!"

"There are no ropes," he threw the remaining ropes off the summit. She started to cry as they whizzed past her just out of her reach. "Climb!"

Catherine continued until the edge of the summit was a couple of feet from her reach. With what remaining strength she had left, she pushed herself up and grasped the edge. "John, please help me," she whimpered seeing him a few feet away.

"Come on, Catherine. Do not doubt yourself," he held out his arms.

She pushed a bit further and managed to pull herself up over the edge. She took a few steps towards John, the rain now a downpour, before collapsing once again as she did early that morning. John ran to her side as she began to sob. "It hurts so much," she tried to rub her aching muscles and cradled her wrist.

"But you did it," he knelt down. "All by yourself, you fought, and you reached your prize. Now claim it," he pulled her up. "Claim it!"

Catherine, her legs shaking, stood at the edge of the summit, held up her arms in victory, and screamed at the top of her lungs letting out all the fear, pain, and frustration she had been feeling all day. The rain mingled with the tears on her cheeks as she sobbed and then screamed again before turning around and punching him as hard as she could in the chest, "I hate you! You're a savage, and I truly hate you!"

Unfazed, he smiled crookedly and pulled her towards him to whisper in her ear. "You're ready for anything now. Let's go back to the shuttle," he pulled out a communicator and remotely signaled the shuttle to transport them back.

"I suppose you designed that, too," she sneered after they materialized in the dry interior of the shuttle as she tried to collect her faculties after her excessive display of emotions on the summit.

"Yes, and I am working on a long-range version at the moment."

The pair rode again quietly on the shuttle as they headed back to London. Not caring that she looked a mess and that her wrist ached, Catherine was glad to be back and looked forward to a hot shower and her bed. "Please tell me I have the day off tomorrow."

"Of course," he smiled. "The majority of your training is complete. We can, of course, do regular workouts together to maintain your fitness level. And, you can continue to carry out your scans on me as planned. Care for me to walk you home?" he offered as it was now in the early morning hours in London.

"No, I'll be fine," she glared at him and turned to head towards home.

John followed her quietly at a distance despite her insistence that she would be fine walking home alone. He knew he had pushed her far beyond her physical and emotional limits and wanted to ensure that she made it home safely. Not knowing he was following her, she turned down an alley in hopes of taking a shortcut when she heard a noise from behind a nearby dumpster.

"Well, well, what have we got here?" a shabby fellow and two ruffians came out of the dark into the moonlight.

"A pretty lady," one of the thugs grinned an evil smile. Catherine ignored them walking with purpose and quickened pace towards her destination.

"Where do you think you're going?" an Andorian man walked out in front of her. "I think my friends want to have a little fun."

"Don't touch me! I'm warning you!" she threatened.

"We've got a feisty one!" one of the men laughed as they surrounded her.

Catherine, despite her exhaustion, remembered what John taught her and immediately started to fight back when one reached out to grab her arm. Unfortunately, she was outnumbered, and her body betrayed her as her strength gave out. The Andorian, whom she had punched in the gut, grabbed hold of her from behind while another slapped her across the face splitting her lip.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you," a voice at the end of the alley boomed.

"John!" Catherine called out.

"Mind your own business, mate! We found her first! You can have her when we're done!" the leader laughed as John approached them. "Besides, what are you going to do?" he signaled the other man to slap her again causing her to cry out in pain.

"I warned you," John growled grabbing the shabby man and throwing him into a wall, his body falling limply to the ground, a pool of blood forming around his crumpled form. The other two thugs went after John leaving the Andorian behind to restrain Catherine. John made quick work of one. When he got to the man who slapped Catherine, he took hold of his head, "Never ever hit a woman!" he snarled before snapping his neck. Catherine managed to wriggle free and knee her captor in the groin before snapping off one of his antennae and hitting him in the neck to incapacitate him just as John had shown her earlier that day.

"John," she ran to him.

"You're bleeding," he tilted her head gently to look at her bloodied lip in the moonlight. "Come on," he scooped her up without her protesting, "I'm taking you home."

Catherine fell asleep in John's arms on the way back to her quarters. He gently laid her on her couch and noted how swollen and discolored her wrist was and assumed she truly had fractured it again. As he pulled a blanket up over her sleeping form, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her medical equipment resting on the side table, picked it up, examined it, and happened to find a syringe, empty ampule, and a hypospray. After ensuring that she was soundly asleep, he fiddled with the equipment before injecting Catherine with the hypospray causing her to stir.

"What did you just inject me with?" she sleepily asked not even opening her eyes.

"Just an analgesic to make you more comfortable," he lied as he placed the equipment back on the side table. "Go back to sleep," he whispered and brushed a few stray hairs out of her face before going to find a washcloth to tend to her lip. Returning to her side, he gently wiped the dried blood from her lip and chin causing her to groan and wake up. "Shh," he soothed her. "It's alright. Just lie still," he continued wiping the blood away. "It's just split. Shouldn't take long to heal. Tomorrow you might have some bruising on your cheek, though," he lightly stroked her cheek with his fingertips.

"You saved my life," tears started to form in her eyes as she awoke more fully and came to remember what had happened in the alley. "I tried to fight them off."

"And you did very well," he smiled. "If you weren't so tired, you probably would have succeeded. We will continue to work on your combat skills, though, if you'd like."

"Sure," she nodded her head. "You go on and get home, John. I'll be alright now," she smiled.

"Are you absolutely sure? What about your wrist?"

"Yes, go on. I'll just brace it for the night and get it treated tomorrow," she shooed him away with her opposite hand in the air. As he got to the door, she sat up quickly and called out, "John?"

"Yes, Catherine?"

"I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

"You're not a savage. I'm sorry that I hurt you earlier."

"No offense taken. I've been called much worse," he turned to open the door.

"And John?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me stronger. For making me feel alive."

"You're welcome. Get some sleep," he smiled and walked out the door. Walking quietly back to his lab in the dead of night, he stopped and looked up at the moon. _"Now she is ready. She will do anything I ask of her."_


	9. Space Seeds in Unstable Ground

**A/N: Thanks again to all of my lovely reviewers and followers! And now for the "morning after"...**

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9. Space Seeds in Unstable Ground

(Listening track selection: "Unstable" by Anberlin)

Catherine awoke on her couch late Sunday morning. As tempting as it was for her to go crawl into bed, she knew that she would probably only feel worse if she overslept. Sitting up gingerly expecting every muscle in her body to ache, she was surprised to discover that she felt fine. _"That's odd," _she thought as she stretched her arms above her head as she yawned.

"_Wait a minute, what about my wrist?" _she looked down at it after noting she did not feel it throbbing and that she had forgotten to put a brace on before she fell back asleep. She noted that there was no swelling or bruising. _"Now I know without a doubt that I hurt it again yesterday. What in the world?"_ She then pulled up the legs of her pants to look at her knees only to discover that they were healed and that the scabs were already starting to peel off.

Catherine jumped off the couch and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. A small amount of dried blood remained in the corner of her mouth, but the split in her lip was gone. Her cheek had a pale yellow tint to it showing the remains of the bruising that should have been a fresh purple. _"Okay, Catherine, you're either losing it, you were trapped in a time loop, or you're Rip Van Winkle," _she thought as she lightly touched her cheek. _"John?"_ Running into her living room, Catherine picked up her PADD and typed a quick message to Janice.

"_Janice, please tell me what day it is!"_

"_Sunday, why? How are things? I haven't heard from you since last week when you got to London. Were you out clubbing or something?"_

"_No," _Catherine typed as she confirmed the stardate on her PADD with Section 31's chronometers, _"just lost track of time. Sorry I haven't had a chance to talk. I'll call you as soon as I can."_

Catherine put the PADD aside and picked up the empty hypospray off the table where John had put it after he had injected her with it early that morning. Pulling the empty ampule off the end of the device, she looked at it closely noting that there was still a small amount of a dark red substance pooled and dried up at the bottom. She took a whiff and noting a deep iron scent immediately felt a sense of dread inside, _"Blood?"_

Grabbing her tricorder, she scanned the ampule and found traces of O+ blood from an unknown male human donor. "Dear God, he injected me with blood!" she dropped the equipment, jumped up, and started to pace back and forth. "Whose blood? His blood? Why blood? I didn't lose that much blood yesterday! What the hell?"

Catherine would have continued her panicked ravings if it was not for her stomach growling and protesting quite loudly causing her to take notice. She had come to the realization that she had next to nothing to eat the day before. Calming herself down she made a small breakfast and sat at her kitchen counter to consume it.

"_There has to be a reasonable explanation for this,"_ she tried to rationalize as she stirred some granola into her yogurt with a spoon. _"Maybe I should ask Dr. Smith for help before confronting John."_

After finishing her breakfast, she went to her desk and thought how best to address the situation before establishing a comm link with Dr. Smith. "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you on our day off," she apologized as he answered.

"Are you okay? You seem upset," Smith furrowed his brow noting she looked distressed.

"Well, something really weird happened last night. I think that it would be better if we discussed this in person," she looked down blushing.

"Sure, where do you want to meet?"

"I think the lab would be best."

Meeting at the cryogenics lab at the mutually agreed upon time, Catherine brought her personal medical equipment with her so that Dr. Smith could scan them in person to verify her concerns. She briefly explained the situation without going into detail about John's brutal training regimen and the event in the alleyway that had led up to him taking her home.

"He trained me so hard yesterday. As usual, I was clumsy and got hurt, scraped my knees and landed face first into the ground, split my lip," she lied. "I think I also broke my wrist again as it was very swollen and painful. I was so exhausted, and he ended up carrying me part of the way home. I had fallen asleep and woke up after he injected me with my hypospray. He told me it was just an analgesic for my pain, but I think he lied. Can you scan this empty ampule and confirm what I scanned with my tricorder?"

Smith quickly scanned the ampule and reported, "It is O+ blood from an unknown male human donor."

"That's exactly what my-"

"Wait!" he interrupted her. "My tricorder just synced with the Section 31 database. It matches a sample just added to the database last week. What in the world?"

"Whose blood is it?" she demanded he tell her. He turned the screen of his tricorder to face her, and she was met with John's personnel picture staring back at her. "Why would he do that?"

"Hold on a minute. You said that you were hurt, but I do not see anything wrong with you. Your wrist looks fine."

"I'm not crazy if that's what you're insinuating!"

"No, calm down, I'm not, but with all of the odd things going on around here, I want to do some scans on you to see if there were any negative changes caused by him injecting you with his blood."

"Okay, for peace of mind if anything," she agreed.

Dr. Smith led her into the infirmary and had her get onto the biobed. Starting up the sensors, he started by scanning her skin. "According to my scans, the skin cells on the surfaces of your knees are brand new. Same with your lip, only a few hours old but fully mature." He then scanned her wrist, "The scans show that, compared to your original ulnar fracture, there are new microfractures stemming from the original break that weren't there on Friday when I checked up on you, but they are completely healed. They look even better than if I had used the osteoregenerator on them!"

"Anything in regards to his blood?"

"Well, there are no diseases detected, so no worries there. Being O+, he's a universal human blood donor, and I detect no adverse reactions to your mixed human-Betazoid blood. In the grand scheme of things, it was, after all, a very small amount of blood," he noted matter-of-factly.

"But it still does not answer why he did it nor why my injuries practically disappeared overnight," she sighed. "I want to confront him, but I think it would be reasonable to wait until your DNA analysis is completed."

"I agree, there is no sense in making accusations just yet. Besides, the infusion did help you and did no harm."

"Yes, you can't argue against that," she admitted.

Catherine and John mutually distanced themselves from each other following their interaction at her quarters. Catherine carried out her scans on him with as minimal interaction as needed, and John busied himself with his work and largely ignored her presence. She could sense that something weighed heavily on his heart, and as much as she wanted to comfort him, she felt like part of her could no longer trust him due to him lying to her about with what substance he injected into her using her hypospray. Aside from the blood incident, she did not, however, sense anything else bizarre or mentally unstable about him, which made the incident all the more confusing to her.

One morning a few days later as Dr. Smith and Catherine worked together in the lab, they received a surprise comm signal alert from Section 31 headquarters in San Francisco. One of Admiral Marcus' staff members notified them that Marcus would personally be in London that afternoon to discuss the next phase of the cryogenics project with them. Dr. Smith was not even sure what the next phase entailed despite his leadership on the first half of the project.

Admiral Marcus arrived with two chief Section 31 staff members, a Denobulan physician, Dr. Zineeri, and a bioengineer, Dr. Uzumaki. After the necessary introductions were made, the group gathered in the small conference room attached to the lab and sat down to discuss the future of the project.

"As you are both aware," Marcus started out, "the cryotubes we discovered were found on the ancient Earth ship the _Botany Bay_. I had mentioned that these tubes, like the tube that we modified to use for Harrison, were unoccupied. What I failed to mention at the time was that there were other cryotubes that we found on board, and these particular tubes were in use."

"How exciting!" Smith leaned forward in his seat. "Any survivors?"

"Yes, most of the occupied cryotubes did in fact contain survivors."

Dr. Uzumaki picked up, "We never would have expected 300 year old technology to be so advanced let alone effective, but needless to say, we were pleasantly surprised."

"We, of course," Dr. Zineeri added, "have not yet tried to reanimate any of these individuals. We wanted to use the empty tubes to perfect our understanding of the technology and the methods they used before even thinking of attempting to try to do anything with one of the occupants."

"_He is lying through his teeth. They have tried to reanimate someone. I wonder if they were successful," _Catherine thought to herself sensing his deceit."This is where we come in, I presume?" she glared at the high-ranking officials sitting in front of her.

"Yes, Lieutenant Troi," Marcus smiled. "Your Betazoid intuition is correct. All of the tubes are actually being stored right here in this base in a secret warehouse vault, but for now, we are only going to have a couple transferred to your lab for you to study."

"Our objective?" Dr. Smith folded his hands.

"For now, we want you to monitor and study our sleeping friends while they're in stasis. And, ideally, we want you to figure out the safest way to reanimate them," Dr. Zineeri explained.

"We'll have a couple of the cryotubes delivered tomorrow morning, and, if those two don't work out, we've got plenty more," Marcus informed them as the three got up to leave.

"Wait, Admiral Marcus!" Catherine ran up to him.

"Yes?"

"What about John?"

"Harrison?"

"Yes, sir, Commander Harrison. Are we still going to be following him and monitoring for any long-term effects from his time in cryostasis?"

"Of course, yes, you will still be performing those tasks. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to be sure to have that clarified as I think it would be wise to continue to follow him," she felt as if she had just slightly lied as she was unsure of her intentions for wanting to continue to see John on a daily basis.

"Right, those are legitimate concerns as to why you should continue to follow him. Besides," he leaned in closer to her so the others could not hear, "I want you personally to keep an eye on him. He's been a little unstable lately, and you're the best person to keep tabs on him if you know what I mean."

"Yes, sir, I understand," she nodded her head.

"Let me know right away if there's anything I should know about," Marcus advised her before turning to rejoin his comrades as they left.

"Well, I'm excited about this turn of events," Dr. Smith noted after the pair were once again alone.

"Me, too," Catherine smiled. "Just think, people from the past! My history professors would be so jealous if they knew about this," she thought aloud before pausing. "I just don't like that they deceived us."

"I don't either. I really don't see the point of hiding that information from us beforehand."

"No, it's just another thing to add to my list of doubts about them."

"Do you think there's more going on here than what we've been told?"

"From the very beginning when they brought me on, I've had this sense that they're hiding something. And this new revelation only makes me wonder if there's even more they're not telling us."

The next morning, as promised, a set of occupied cryotubes was transported into the cryogenics lab. Catherine immediately set to work scanning one tube while Dr. Smith took a look at the other. The cryotube she had selected contained a tall woman of African descent. Catherine thought that she was beautiful but that she also looked strong and fierce. _"She looks like she could have been a warrior,"_ she thought to herself. Dr. Smith's cryotube contained a man of Hispanic heritage.

Ensuring that the two sleeping individuals were stable after the move, Catherine took her leave to go and do her daily check on John. Although she had kept her distance recently, she felt excited and found herself anxious to tell him about their new assignment. "Good morning, John," she slightly smiled after he had given her permission to enter his lab.

"Good morning," he flipped up the welding mask he was wearing before taking it off.

"What time did you start your work this morning? You look like you've been hard at it for a few hours already."

"I did not go home yet."

"You've been up all night? You're going to work yourself to death!" she sighed.

"I'm fine," he insisted before his stomach growled loudly.

"When was the last time you had something to eat?" she put her hand on her hip.

"Truthfully?"

"Yes, please be honest with me."

"I do not remember."

"John!" she put a hand to her forehead. "Sit down, I'm going to get you some breakfast," she instructed before walking out of the lab. She soon returned from the cafeteria with a tray full of food and a large cup of fresh Darjeeling. "I'm going to sit here and watch you eat everything on this tray," she threatened.

"As you wish," he sat down and started to eat some oatmeal.

"We'll have to get together and train again sometime," she commented as she watched him eat.

"Yes, we should, as long as your wrist is better."

"Oh, it's fine, good as new," she felt awkward and decided to change the subject. "So, what have you been working on?"

"Much of the same."

"I see." Sensing that he was not in a mood for chitchat, she sat quietly making sure he finished his meal. As he got close to finishing, she got up to start her scans. "Your heart rate and blood pressure are a bit high today. I'm detecting high levels of adrenaline. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," he lied as he got up to continue his work.

Following him, she pressed further, "John, you need to take better care of your health. I think you are experiencing too much stress and overworking yourself. Are you absolutely certain you feel fine? If Admiral Marcus is insisting you work like this, I can put in a word for you."

"Damn it, woman!" he snapped at the mention of Marcus and slammed his fist into a glass case covering a model of a ship startling Catherine. The glass shattered and blood began to drip from his clenched fist.

"John!" Catherine ran to his side and gently took hold of his forearm. "Come on, we need to get you back to the lab so I can tend to your hand."

"I'm sorry, Catherine," he apologized for his outburst. "No, please, it is not necessary. Here, I'll just clean it up myself," he went to a sink and began to rinse the blood off.

"No, there are shards of glass embedded in the tissue. Please, come with me. Let me help you," she gently put her hand on his shoulder. She felt him slightly shudder at her touch before he turned to look at her.

John left his hand under the running water as he turned and gazed into her eyes. Studying her countenance for a moment, he finally conceded. "Very well," he turned off the faucet as Catherine shrugged off her lab coat and gently wrapped it over his hand to keep it from dripping blood all over the floor on their way back to the cryogenics lab. "You're going to ruin your coat," he noted as she led him down the hallway.

"Getting the blood out should not be a problem, but if it is unsalvageable, I have plenty more." Arriving to the lab, she led him to the infirmary and had him sit on the biobed with his hand resting on a bedside table.

"Are you sure you can handle this? I thought only doctors could provide care for wounds such as this."

"John, all nurses are qualified to handle basic wound care like this. Have you been living under a rock?" she smiled wistfully as she got out her equipment.

After attaching an ampule of analgesic to a hypospray, she injected the medication into his hand near the open wounds. The worst of the bleeding having stopped, she gently began to extract the shards of glass from his knuckles holding pressure on new areas of bleeding as they arose. Performing a scan to ensure that all of the glass was removed, she then gently cleaned the wounds before using an autosuture device to close the open cuts.

"Your skin is going to be rather fragile the next couple of days, so you may reopen the cuts if you are not careful," she explained as she gently rubbed a growth stimulating cream on his newly repaired hand. "Would it help you to remember to be careful if I wrapped your hand?"

"That may be a good idea," he sighed.

"I was thinking," she sensed that he was relaxed and calm as she started to wrap his hand with some gauze, "that it might be good for you to get away from your lab for a little while."

"I have critical deadlines to meet," he started to protest.

"I understand that, John. It would not have to be a long time, just a couple of hours."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go out for something to eat tomorrow night. I really have been craving Indian food and was hoping you could show me a good place to go. We could see if Dr. Smith wanted to go, too, that is, if it would make you more comfortable," she lightly blushed.

"No."

"Oh, it's okay, I understand," she frowned embarrassed at being rejected.

"No, I'm sorry. What I mean is that we do not have to have Dr. Smith come along. I would be happy to show you my favorite Indian restaurant," the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile.

"Thank you!" she smiled as she finished wrapping his hand. "Oh, I almost forgot! Admiral Marcus has us starting the second phase of our cryogenics project. You have to see this!" she took his uninjured hand in her own and gently pulled him off the biobed, out of the infirmary, and down the hallway. Entering her security code, the doors to the lab containing the two occupied cryotubes swooshed open. "You were only asleep for two months, but this man and woman have been asleep for around 300 years. Isn't it amazing?" she beamed.

John pulled his hand out of her gentle grasp and walked closer to the cryotubes. He stopped and studied the occupant of one cryotube before studying the other. With his back to Catherine, standing in between the two cryotubes and placing a hand on each, he bowed his head in silence. She could sense rage building inside of him, but she could not understand what was causing him to be so angry.

"John, what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"This is wrong!" he shouted as he turned to face her with his eyes full of fury. "They shouldn't even be here!"

"We're not doing anything harmful to them. We're monitoring them and trying to find the most harmless way to reanimate them. They're safe with us," she tried to explain.

"How long, though, until Admiral Marcus orders you to do more? They are vulnerable in this state, and he could ask you to do anything to them in the name of science!"

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt them, and I wouldn't dream of allowing someone to treat them as animals either!"

"How do I know that?"

"John, don't you trust me?"

"You're just one of Marcus' puppets after all!" he fumed before storming out of the lab.

"No, John, please don't go!"she called after him as she started to cry, but her plea was too late as he was already gone. _"He is so unstable, but I do not sense that this is his true nature. Something is wrong. Why would be so angry over a couple of strangers? Should I tell Admiral Marcus?"_


	10. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

**A/N: On a roll this weekend. Glad I was able to bang this one out before starting the work week again or it would have been driving me nuts all week! There's a couple tiny Sherlock references. One is a character quote, and the other is an indirect reference to a certain article of clothing notorious among the Sherlock fandom. If you can find them, kudos to you! Enjoy! :)**

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10. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

(Listening track selections: "Already Over" and "Best Is Yet to Come" by Red)

Storming out of the cryogenics lab, John returned to his personal lab and went to his view screen. Pressing a couple commands into the control panel to establish a comm link, a young man appeared on the screen. Reigning in his rage, John calmly addressed the ensign, "This is Commander Harrison in London. Please inform Admiral Marcus that I must speak with him immediately. It is urgent."

"I'm sorry, but I think he is in a meeting wi-"

"This is official Section 31 business," John interrupted him.

"Oh, I see, Commander, I will notify him immediately."

John tapped his fingers impatiently against the wall waiting for Marcus to respond. "What do you want?" the older gruff man appeared on the view screen.

"You bastard! What the hell are they doing in that lab?" John roared.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well what I'm talking about!"

"Fine, I give in," he rolled his eyes. "I only wanted to make a move to stir the pot. Just wanted to remind you of what is on the line. For now, they're safe, but don't think for a moment that I can't order their deaths and make it look like some kind of accident."

"I swear, if anything happens to them, know that if you're lying to me, I will find you, and I will skin you! I will burn the heart out of you!"

"And what about your little girlfriend? You know, I've got her wrapped around my little finger. If you make a single mistake, she's going to tell me."

"Catherine?"

"On a first name basis, are we? Yes, Lieutenant Troi."

"Leave her out of this. She hasn't done anything wrong. And, she is not my _girlfriend_," he emphasized the word somewhat foreign to his lips.

"Well, I have CCTV footage that does suggest a certain degree of intimacy between the two of you. Anyways, I hand-picked her for the job. I know she would blindly follow my orders."

"Are you willing to bet your life on that?" John glared.

"Yes, and I'm willing to bet their lives on it, too," Marcus smiled with an evil gleam in his eye. "Talk to you later, you son of a bitch," he severed the comm link.

John pounded his uninjured hand on the countertop before sinking onto a stool and weeping. After calming himself down and wiping the tears off his face with the back of his bandaged hand, he picked up his PADD and typed a message to Catherine.

"_Once again I find myself apologizing to you. Catherine, I'm sorry for my behavior towards you earlier. And I do trust you. Completely. I have been under much stress lately, but it is no excuse for my unstable behavior. I must admit, though, that I find your company to be quite soothing, and if you are still agreeable to it, I would greatly enjoy taking you to my favorite local Indian restaurant tomorrow night. My treat for all of the trouble you put yourself through to put up with me. – John." _

Finishing his message and sending it, he put his head in his hands, _"What am I doing?"_

After John had left the cryogenics lab and left Catherine in tears, not wanting Dr. Smith to find her in such a state, she went and hid herself in the small room in which she had stayed while John was an inpatient. _"What is wrong with me?" _she wept as she got onto the bed. _"Why do his actions hurt me? Why do I have to care so much? How can I carry out Admiral Marcus' orders when I cannot even fully read or understand John's emotions? And why do I have such a hard time with that?" _Curling up a bit tighter into a ball on the bed, she was suddenly enlightened to her problem. _"I love him. I love John," _she stopped sobbing.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, Catherine wiped the tears off of her cheeks. _"It all makes sense now. How could I be such a fool? Why else would I be so torn between John's actions towards me and Admiral Marcus' orders? My own internal battles are clouding my ability to read the emotions of those around me especially John's. And if I'm going to be able to function and carry out my job, I need to choose,"_ she sighed.

"_Will you follow your head or your heart?"_ she remembered John's words to her.

"_I have always followed my head. It has always been the safest choice, but where has it gotten me? Maybe this time, even though everything in my head is screaming not to do it, I will choose my heart. My mind is shouting that there is no reason that I should love John. How many times has he almost killed me now? But he was always been there to pick up the pieces. And I know within the depths of my heart that he would never let anything happen to me. He saved my life that night, after all. And when I catch him off guard, he is so kind and tender. Maybe in order to tear down his barriers, I need to tear down my own first. No more questioning him. No more doubting him. I need to just love him and be there for him. Even if he does not necessarily return those sentiments. I choose my heart,"_ she resolved.

After freshening up in the bathroom, Catherine returned to the lab to check on the cryotubes. As she scanned the sleeping occupants, she wondered again what had made John so upset. _"I wonder what their names are. Where are they from? Why did they choose this? Did they have friends? Did they have lovers?"_ she thought to herself as she worked. She then experienced another revelation. _"Wow, I'm on a roll today," _she thought. _"This is why he's so upset. They're people, not just test subjects or relics from a time long past. They have hopes, dreams, and fears just as we do. They have family. John truly has such a beautiful heart to even recognize this before myself. Why does he try to hide that?"_

Finishing her scans, Catherine returned to the main room of the cryogenics lab where she had left her PADD sitting on the countertop. Picking it up, she noticed that there was a text message waiting for her. She was expecting a message from Janice or her parents, but to her shock, it was from John. Reading his apology and his offer to take her out to dinner, she felt her insides flutter and felt reassured that she had made the right decision to follow her heart. _"No matter what he feels towards me, I need to be good to him,"_ she resolved. _"He needs a friend to look out for him."_

She sat down and started to type a response to his offer. _"John, I forgive you. You have been under so much stress. We both have. Getting out of this hole in the ground and into the real world for a couple of hours will be good for both of us. I am sorry if I am too overbearing sometimes. I just worry so much about you. Please forgive me for being a nag. I also find that I enjoy your company, and I cannot wait to have a good dish of chicken tikka masala. What should I wear?" _she sent the message.

John was working on a prototype photon torpedo when he heard his PADD alert him to an incoming message. Reading the message from Catherine, he found himself smiling. Although he had smiled many times since being reanimated, he realized that this was the first time he truly had completely and fully smiled. Despite his physical strength, he found his cheeks even hurting a little from lack of using the muscles needed to form a smile.

He started to type a response, _"No need to apologize. You are a very caring person, and I appreciate that you care for me more than I care for myself." _He thought briefly about how to answer her question concerning her attire for their evening out and suddenly realized that he was completely ignorant in regards to what was appropriate or popular ladies attire in recent months. Struck with a sudden idea, he continued typing, _"I will meet you at your quarters tomorrow night at 1900. Regarding your attire, do not concern yourself with that. Expect a delivery to your quarters by tomorrow afternoon. I hope you like it." _

Sending the message, he sat back in his chair and ran a hand through his dark hair. _"I am such a hypocrite. I cannot treat her as a potential puppet to do my bidding any longer. It would dehumanize her and put me on the same level as Admiral Marcus. It would be no different than me putting her in a cryotube and experimenting on her. So much for my superior intellect," _he sighed. _"She has been nothing but good to me. And to them," _he thought about the sleeping figures nestled in their cryotubes in her lab. _"She never ceases to show me that she is a superior woman. And now I need to treat her as superior. I must protect her from Marcus. And, someday, if I sense that the time is right and that she might want to willingly help me and my cause, I will tell her my story. I will not otherwise put her in harm's way or in between Marcus and myself," _he silently resolved feeling remorseful for his previous motives towards her. He then picked up his PADD again, _"Looks like I have some shopping to do."_

Catherine was a bit surprised at how quickly she received John's reply. _"See you tomorrow night," _she messaged back. She wondered what would be awaiting her in the package he was sending and could not help but feel excited despite a little concern. She finished up her work for the day and headed home glad that it was Friday and that for once she actually had something good to look forward to on a Saturday evening.

After having something to eat and putting on her pajamas, Catherine sat at her desk and tried to get in touch with Janice. "Must be out tonight," she thought aloud finding she was unable to establish a comm link. Snuggling on her couch with her PADD, she sent Janice a text message.

"_I miss you so much! This Torchwood stuff is so crazy. I really miss having a good girlfriend to chat with about my troubles. We really need to catch up sometime. Hear anything about the yeoman position yet? I hope it works out for you! I don't think it's appropriate to call it a date, but I'm going out to eat tomorrow night with Harkness. I really do have feelings for him, but if he does not feel the same way, I am okay with just being friends. He works so hard. We both are a bit stressed out lately, so it'll be good for both of us to get out. When I get a chance, I'll let you know how things go. Hope all is well! – Catherine"_

Catherine slept in Saturday morning on purpose as she knew she would be anxious all day awaiting the arrival of John's package and their meal together later that evening. She received a reply from Janice around lunchtime.

"_Hi Cath, sorry I missed you! I was out late last night helping my brother move in at the Academy. It's hard to believe my baby brother is old enough to join Starfleet! I still haven't heard anything about that yeoman position. It's still posted, though, so the position hasn't been filled yet. I'm starting to wonder if I should start putting in applications for other positions, though. I'm getting so bored working at the conservatory! Botany is definitely hobby worthy, but I just can't do it everyday as a job. Tell me how things go with Harkness. I truly hope this works out for you. You deserve the best, and if he breaks your heart, I will personally castrate him! – Jan"_

Catherine smiled as she finished reading Janice's message. Putting down her PADD, the door chimes for her quarters went off. She jumped up and ran to her door. Opening the door, she was greeted by a deliveryman. "Catherine Troi?" he asked.

"Yes," she smiled.

"Please sign here," he held up a PADD and handed her a stylus. "Here you go," he handed her a slim box after she signed her name.

"Thanks!" she eagerly grabbed the box and ran inside and putting it on her coffee table. She pulled the small tag off the box that had a small digital message on it, which read, _"I hope it pleases you. – John."_ She pulled off the box lid and pushed away the tissue paper to be greeted with royal blue material embroidered with gold thread. She pulled the garment out of the box to discover that it was in fact a sari. In the bottom of the box was a pair of matching shoes. "It's beautiful," she gasped out loud. She ran to her bedroom mirror and held the garment up over her body. Smiling, she lad the sari on her bed and ran to her PADD.

"_It is beautiful, John. How can I ever thank you? – Catherine."_

"_Your company will be adequate. See you tonight. – John."_

Later that afternoon, Catherine got ready and eagerly awaited his arrival. True to his word, John arrived on time and pressed the button to signal her door chime. Catherine stopped to look in a mirror quickly making sure everything was in place before running to the door to let him inside. She was expecting him to be in his usual black Starfleet issue clothing, but she was surprised as the door opened to find him in a deep purple sherwani with light threads of intricate gold embroidery around the edges.

"John," she gaped, "you look so handsome."

He could not help but smile at her reaction. Taking her hand, he gently placed a kiss on the back of it. "Do you like your sari?"

"I love it. Thank you!"

"You look beautiful. I was worried that you would not like it."

"We won't be overdressed, will we?" she smiled.

"No, my favorite Indian restaurant here happens to also be the top one in London, so I figured we should not hold back on our attire. They have some of the best Western Indian dishes and make the closest thing I have found to authentic Indian cuisine outside of the Indian subcontinent," he offered her his arm.

"Have you been to that region often?" she asked taking his arm and walking down the hall.

"Oh, yes, many times."

Catching a shuttle and arriving at their destination, John led Catherine inside the restaurant. John gave the host his name to verify their reservations. The host then led them to a table. John pulled out Catherine's seat and had her sit before sitting down across from her.

"Thank you again for all of this," she smiled. "I only ask one thing."

"Anything," he smiled.

"We both need to agree not discuss work as the whole point of us going out tonight was to get away from it all," she smiled.

"I agree," he held out his hand to shake and seal their deal. Catherine was surprised to find that the menu was written in Devanagari and that their waiter spoke Hindi. She went to pull out her communicator out of her satchel to use its universal translator application, but John stopped her. "I will order for you," he insisted. In fluent Hindi, he placed an order for chicken tikka masala for her, and although he enjoyed the authentic dishes, he was in the mood for something extra spicy and ordered the British Indian dish phaal for himself.

"When did you find the time to learn Hindi?"

"I only said that I've been to India many times, but I did not indicate how long I was there during those visits," he grinned proudly.

"You are a mystery to me, John," she shook her head and smiled back. "So, outside of work, we clearly do not know each other," she admitted before sipping her wine. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"I suppose you can say I'm old-fashioned. I enjoy reading classic novels. I also enjoy old music, television shows, and movies."

"Who are some of your favorite authors?"

"Shakespeare, Milton, Dickens, Hardy," he spouted off.

"Oh, I love all of them, too," she smiled and paused. "Please forgive me if I am being too bold, but how are you feeling, John? And I mean emotionally. Please be honest," she leaned forward and placed her hand on top of his where it rested on the table.

John looked down swirling the brandy in his glass with his free hand. "Not as well as I would like," he admitted frowning.

"I know we do not know each other very well outside of our work together, but if it helps you feel better, I want you to know that you have a truly beautiful heart, John. Underneath your cold exterior, you are so kind-hearted. You truly care about those that are defenseless."

"Thank you, Catherine," he thanked her as she thought she almost caught sight of a tear forming in one of his eyes. "You are so steadfast, so gentle. How is it that you are alone?" he asked as he put his brandy down and took hold of the hand that she had placed over his own.

"I have not had much luck in that area," she frowned and quickly picked up her wine glass to take a drink.

"But you are a superior woman. Any man would be lucky to have you at their side," he looked into her eyes.

"I'm always just a friend, though. No one's ever interested," she sighed trying to hold back tears.

"You are amazing, Catherine. Do not doubt yourself. You did singlehandedly, after all, conquer El Capitan," he gently smiled and squeezed her hand just as their waiter brought them their meals.

"I suppose you're right," she forced herself to smile. "If I can conquer El Capitan, I can conquer any man's heart."

The pair ate quietly stopping at times to note how they were enjoying their meals, to whisper gossip about the other patrons making each other laugh, and to try not to burst out laughing loudly as they watched a Vulcan trying a dish of curry apparently for the first time. Catherine found herself humored that John did not even break a sweat while eating his phaal, a notoriously spicy food. Just as they were wrapping up their meal, a man stopped at their table. They heard him clearing his throat to get their attention. The pair looked up.

"Admiral Marcus," Catherine stood up quickly. "What are you doing here, sir?"

"No, sit down, you're off duty at the moment," Marcus insisted. "Harrison," he turned and glared at John.

"Admiral Marcus," John stood up and nodded his exterior growing cold again. Catherine sensed all of John's relaxation leaving his body as tension and anger quickly replaced any feelings of enjoyment that he had been experiencing.

"Sit down, son," Marcus scowled. "How are those torpedoes coming along?"

"They will be done by your deadline, sir," he rumbled after taking his seat.

"Good, I expect these ones to work this time. Enjoy your evening," he sneered at John before turning to Catherine, "Have a good night."

John sat squeezing his fork in his hand, his knuckles turning white. With his other hand, he picked up his brandy and quickly emptied the glass. Catherine frowned seeing how Marcus disturbed John and quickly surmised that he was the cause of all if not most of John's stress. "John?" she asked. "John," she reached her leg under the table and lightly touched his ankle with her foot to draw his attention back to her.

"Huh?" he looked up at her dropping the fork.

"You've bent your fork," her eyes grew wide.

"Oh, yes I have," he picked it up quickly bent it back to its original shape before placing it back on the table.

"Why don't we pay the bill and get out of here?" she suggested. "We could go for a walk and get some fresh air."

"Right, let's get the hell out of here."

After John took care of their bill, the pair made their way to Hampstead Heath. John knowingly put his coat over Catherine's shoulders observing that she was chilled. Finding a bench, they sat together.

"Does he always treat you like that?"

"Admiral Marcus? Yes," he looked away not wanting to give away any emotions.

"The more I learn about him, the less I like him. I love my job, but I don't like having to work for him either. When I saw how he spoke to you at the restaurant, I sort of wanted to kick him in the gonads," she admitted.

"Really?" John turned to look at her amused.

"I've never admitted this to anyone, but he creeps me out. I always feel like he's lying to me, like he's using me. It makes me feel so dirty. No wonder you feel so anxious and stressed out all the time, John," she reached over and gently stroked his cheek.

"It's so hard sometimes, Catherine. It's bad enough that there are other people's lives at risk, but with the added pressure he puts on me, it feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. And, I'm so alone. If only," he paused and took a deep breath, "if only I had someone to help me bear those burdens."

"Oh John," she picked up his hand and kissed it before holding it to her cheek. "If you would only let me, I could help you bear the pain. I know you have secrets that you cannot tell me, just as there are things I cannot tell you, but just let me help you. I cannot bear seeing you in such pain all the time. Please, John," she pleaded as a tear dripped down onto his hand.

"I wish I could, Catherine," he wiped the tear from her cheek. "I'm not sure I can. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. It would kill me if Marcus did something to you because of me."

"Is it really that bad? Are you really in that deep?" she sniffled.

"You have no idea, dear one," he gently stroked her hair out of her face. "But, maybe someday, I truly hope that I can tell you everything. I will tell you something, though, if you want to know."

"Yes, you can tell me anything."

"The pure thought of it now makes me want to vomit, but I meant to use you against Admiral Marcus. I wanted to manipulate you so you would do my every whim."

"That's what you meant when you said you had to break me."

"Yes, and I'm so ashamed."

"You did break me, John, but it backfired."

"What?"

"I really would do anything for you and willingly, but not because you made me that way. It is because I care about you, very deeply."

"I do not think I have ever felt this way about anyone before. I honestly do not know or understand what the nature of my feelings are for you, but I do care for you, too."

"It is alright, John. We have not known each other very long. You do not have to sort all of this out right now. Just know that if anything, I am your friend, and I will always be there for you."

"Thank you, Catherine. For now, I want to be very careful because of Marcus. So, if I seem to be distancing myself from you, this is why. Would you like to get an ice cream?" he asked suddenly.

"Sure," she laughed.

Late that evening, John walked Catherine back to her quarters. She welcomed him inside the doorway so they could say their goodnights away from prying eyes.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself even if Marcus ruined our dinner."

"I had a lovely time, John," she smiled as she shrugged his coat off of her shoulders and put it on him.

"What I said earlier, about someday, truly hoping that I can tell you everything, I meant every word."

"I know you did, John. If that day comes, I will be waiting," she reached up and gently pulled him towards her placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "You taste like ice cream," she laughed.

"You do, too," he grinned.

"Goodnight, John Harrison," she gently stroked his cheek.

"Goodnight, Catherine Troi," he leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek before leaving.

"_Admiral Marcus is a lying bastard,"_ she thought as the door swooshed shut behind him. She walked to the door and placed her hand on it. _"I can finally fully sense John's feelings. And he did not speak a single lie tonight. He does care very deeply for me. He is confused, too, just as he said. It is fine, though. I will give him the time he needs to decide. I only hope that one day we will both be free of Marcus and his tyranny as I feel that he is the cause of John's uncertainty," _she gently touched her cheek where John had kissed her. _"I truly hope the best is yet to come."_


	11. Blooming

**A/N: Thank you again to my reviewers and followers! Had a rough time getting this chapter out for some reason on top of fighting off a bug. Things will definitely be picking up after this, though. ;)**

* * *

11. Blooming

(Listening track selection: "Rose's Theme" by Murray Gold)

Catherine awoke the next morning feeling as if she had been living in a dream the night before. In fact, she wondered if things truly were too good to be true, but as she rolled over and saw her sari draped on her desk chair, she smiled to herself and sighed happily. Sitting up in bed, she picked up her PADD off of the nightstand and saw she had a message waiting for her.

"_Good morning. Check outside your front door. – John."_

Arching a brow out of curiosity, Catherine stretched before sliding into her slippers and heading to the front door of her quarters. Opening the door, she found a single rose with a red ribbon tied around it and a card in an envelope addressed to her sitting on the floor. She picked them up and headed to her couch. Sliding open the envelope, she pulled out the card and thought fondly,_ "No one ever really handwrites cards and letters anymore."_

"_Dearest Catherine, thank you for accompanying me to dinner last night. I have never enjoyed the company of a woman as much as I did last night with you. For the first time in a long while, I do not feel completely and utterly alone. You are an angel. Please accept this rose as a token of my gratitude for your companionship. – John_

_P.S. I have thought much about this, and if we are going to continue seeing one another, even if only as friends, perhaps it might be best to correspond in this fashion. And, although I know our correspondence may be sentimental to you, it probably is best to destroy them once read. I do not want Marcus to intercept our messages to each other via our PADDs, and if something were to happen, I do not want a paper trail leading him or whoever may intend to harm me back to you. Let me know what you think."_

Catherine smiled and could not help but smell the card catching a whiff of John's cologne. He usually did not wear any but had done so the night before. She ran to her bedroom to get her PADD and let him know her decision on the matter.

"_John, I agree with you. Will do so immediately. This message will self-destruct. Not really, but you know what I mean. – Catherine."_

He quickly replied. _"You made me smile. – John." _

Glad that John got her joke, she ran to her bedroom closet and started rooting around in unpacked boxes from her move to London from San Francisco. "Yes!" she thought aloud upon finding a small box of stationery, envelopes, and a couple of ink pens. Sitting down at her desk, she began to write to John.

"_John, thank you for the rose. It is beautiful, just like your heart. You can come to me any time. I cannot bear the thought of you being without someone to care for you. My lonely angel… - Catherine."_

Finishing her brief letter to John, she put it in an envelope and sealed it. Taking his card to the kitchen, she briefly sentimentally clutched it tightly to her chest, read it again, and gently ran her fingertips over John's handwriting before turning on her stove and holding the card over the blue flame. The paper quickly caught fire, and Catherine put it in the sink to keep the flames safely contained. The card was quickly consumed, and she washed the ashes down the sink grateful that her smoke alarm did not activate.

Catherine understood John's reasoning behind them destroying their correspondence to each other, but she couldn't help but to feel a little saddened by their situation. _"I feel like we are trapped. I hope that someday we can get away from Marcus. If only I could whisk John away from all of this," _she reflected before typing up a couple of messages to Janice and her parents to let them know how she was doing.

Monday morning, Catherine smiled as she walked into John's lab and slid the envelope containing her note to him in front of him on top of the design he was studying. Upon seeing his name on the envelope, he smiled and picked it up enjoying the feel of the paper underneath his fingertips.

"I burned your card," Catherine reported. "It makes me sad, but I agree with you. For now, we need to keep things quiet."

"I'm sorry that it has to be this way," he apologized before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"It's not your fault," she reassured him tenderly rubbing his shoulder. "More and more I know that Marcus is a despot. I cannot imagine how you have worked under him for so long. Well, enough of this grim talk. I want you to have this," she held up a potted plant in bloom. "It's native to the planet Betazed. It does need sunlight, so you should take it back to your quarters."

"It's lovely, just like you," he smiled. "It will make my quarters more homelike."

"I'll be back later this morning to do my scans," she smiled back and left.

Just as she stated, Catherine returned to John's lab later that morning. As she walked in, she saw that he was reading her note to him. He held it up showing he had read it, "I may be sided with an angel, you, but do not think that I am one. You yourself have seen how savage I can be."

"Yet, you are only savage when it is necessary. Any other time, you are gentle and kind. When you killed those men in the alleyway, it was to save my life. And, it was because you couldn't bear the thought of someone harming me."

"You read me so well. And I thought I was going to master you, not the other way around. Yes, even though that entire day I was trying to break you down physically in order to win you over, when I saw you in true danger, I suppose I started to realize how precious you had become to me even though at the time I did not understand it that way. I also started to realize that I did not want to be alone anymore."

"John, before we met, did you really have no one?"

"I have been alone for quite some time now. My family," he paused frowning, "my friends, they were all taken from me far too soon."

"You were on Tarsus IV. How horrible, Governor Kodos ordering the massacre of thousands. I'm so sorry. You never really recovered, did you?"

"No, I suppose not. I have you now, though, do I not?"

"Always, John," she tenderly stroked the back of his hand. "I'm going to perform my scans now, okay?" John nodded.

"_Not Kodos. The Eugenics Wars and Marcus, they took all that I loved away from me," _he thought to himself.

"Did you say something?" Catherine asked.

"Huh? No, I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay," Catherine pulled out her tricorder and medical scanner and began monitoring his vital signs as she had been doing for many days now. _"I swear he said something. Eugenics Wars?"_ Catherine thought to herself as she started scanning him.

John sat down on his stool to examine the designs for the photon torpedoes he had been constantly working on for days. She paused as he leaned his elbow on the counter and cradled his head in his hand wincing ever so slightly.

"John, how long have you been having these headaches?"

"I'm fine. It's just from the stress." She crossed her arms and glared at him. Feeling her gaze boring into him, he admitted, "Ever since I was reanimated. They were very mild initially, and I ignored them as I thought it was temporary and they would gradually improve. Unfortunately, they have only been increasing in intensity and frequency. I have a high pain tolerance which is probably why you have not noticed until now."

"Dr. Smith needs to run some scans on you just to make sure there are no underlying pathologies. Given your history of post-neural shock syndrome, though, you most likely just need some amantadine to help with the cognitive fatigue you've been experiencing. We would usually recommend rest, but we know that is not really an option for you. And, if you don't mind, I'm going to ask Dr. Smith if we can start giving you something to take the edge off of the stress and anxiety you're having."

"Very well, let's go see our dear doctor," he scooted off the stool and went with Catherine to the cryogenics lab.

After the pair arrived and Catherine explained her concerns to Dr. Smith, the doctor had John get on a biobed so he could perform some diagnostic scanning. Quickly performing scans of John's brain, Dr. Smith made the same conclusion as Catherine.

"Unfortunately, it appears that you've exacerbated the symptoms of the post-neural shock syndrome. Much like a concussion, stress and fatigue can trigger headaches with this condition. We all three know that rest is not an option for you right now. Your otherwise excellent health and physical fitness do help and are in your favor, and I agree with Catherine in that starting you on amantadine would be helpful. An anxiolytic medication will also help. And when you can, try to take it easy on yourself. Pushing yourself too hard only makes it worse and will cause the symptoms to last longer. I'll write the orders. Take the amantadine at breakfast and lunchtime. Catherine will give you the anxiolytic as needed when her scans indicate your vital signs are elevated. I would like you to come back here in ten to fourteen days to see how you are doing."

"Very well, and thank you," John nodded in agreement with Dr. Smith's treatment plan.

"Nurse, go ahead and give him a headache cocktail to break the cycle and give him some relief until the amantadine starts to take effect. You can give the cocktail again to him in the future if he has any severe headaches," Dr. Smith instructed her.

"Sure. Wait here, John," she went to mix up a hypospray. Returning she injected him in the neck. "Diphenhydramine, prochlorperazine, and ketorolac. Very old combination, but tried and true," she explained. "You should start to feel better in thirty to sixty minutes," she gently squeezed his hand. "I'll come and check on you then."

"You know where to find me," John slid off the biobed and made his way out of the infirmary to leave the lab and return to his own. Before he got to the door, he overheard Dr. Smith.

"Nurse Troi, Admiral Marcus wants you to talk to him in an hour. He would like a thorough report of Commander Harrison's status since we reanimated him and his progress to date."

"Really? Great, I guess I better gather my notes and reports," she sighed. "He could have given me more of a heads up. I guess I'll have to check on Commander Harrison after that."

"Sorry," Dr. Smith apologized. "I wish I could help, but I myself have to head to Paris to meet with Dr. Zineeri," he cringed. "He gives me the creeps. I guess it's that Denobulan smile." John dashed out of the lab hearing Dr. Smith approaching.

Catherine scrambled to collect and organize her notes on her PADD for her report to Admiral Marcus. _"Not looking forward to this,"_ she thought as her hands started to shake ever so slightly as she became nervous. _"Feel like I'm getting ready to be interrogated."_

At the appointed time, she sat in the small conference room and established the comm link with Admiral Marcus who was in his office in San Francisco at Starfleet Academy. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Sorry for the short notice. I guess I'm not very good at giving you adequate time to prepare," he tried to joke remembering how short of a time period he gave her to decide whether or not to accept the position in the first place.

"Well, I'll do my best," she replied.

"Good, go ahead and begin."

"Commander Harrison has proven to be quite remarkable in his progress since reanimation. Upon reawakening, he quick-"

"Okay, let me cut you off," he interrupted. "I know full well how he is doing physically. I want to know, how is he psychologically?"

"Well, initially he was rather unstable. His affect was flat, mood labile. He would be fine one moment and aggressive the next. He was always able to calm himself down. He's improved very much with the aggression. Also, I have sensed no intent to harm anyone."

"Then what about the dead men in the alley?"

Catherine felt sick to her stomach, "Sir?"

"You were there. What happened? We can't have it getting out that one of our agents is out murdering people!"

"It was late. Commander Harrison and I were doing physical training all day. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. He asked if I wanted him to walk me home. I was angry with him and refused. I decided to take a shortcut through the alley, but I did not suspect that it was dangerous. Those men, they were going to rape me, possibly even murder me. John, I mean, Commander Harrison, saved my life."

"I see. Well, I suppose that is an adequate explanation, Lieutenant Troi. Be more careful next time."

"I'm sorry. I hope I haven't caused you or him any trouble," she apologized her face burning red.

"No, we'll get it sorted out."

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" she blurted out surprised with herself as she was usually quiet and meek with people in authority.

"Granted," Marcus smiled amused at her request.

"Sir, I am very worried about Commander Harrison. He is constantly working. He is exhausted. He forgets to eat. He hardly sleeps. He is starting to experience headaches again from exacerbating the post-neural shock syndrome. As one of his medical providers, I am asking you to please, for God's sake, lay off of him for a while. He is under so much stress due to your insane deadlines!" she started to become angry. "Just, leave him alone!"

"Quite frankly, my dear, his work and my demands are none of your business. Are you forgetting that lives are at stake here?" Marcus growled angry about her challenging hm.

"And what about John's life? Doesn't he matter? He's human, too, you know!"

"He's an animal!" Marcus paused before concluding, "Oh, I see where this is going. You've developed a fondness for him, haven't you? Why else would you call him by his first name?"

"And what if I have?"

"You better just get it out of your head now, Lieutenant. He belongs to me."

"He belongs to no one! Don't you get it?"

"Even if he did return your feelings, he'll just turn around and destroy you. He's a ticking time bomb. I thought that by now you'd realize that. Now, that's enough of this foolishness! I do not want to hear about any of this again. You forget your place, Lieutenant Troi. You better stay focused on your assignment, miss, or I'll pull you off the project faster than you can bat an eye!" he pointed at her before the screen went blank.

"Damn you!" she whispered under her breath.

"Thank you, Catherine," she jumped hearing a voice behind her causing her to swivel around in her seat to see John standing in the doorway.

"John, how much did you hear?"

"All of it," he smiled kneeling down to her level. "No one in Section 31 has ever stood up to Marcus on my behalf. Thank you," he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. _"She would have made an excellent Khanum, a queen,"_ he thought.

"A what?" she said out loud.

"I didn't say anything," he looked at her confused.

"I think I'm starting to hear things," she laughed. "I really must be losing it. Hearing things, yelling at Marcus. What is this world coming to?"

"I don't know, but my world is all the brighter and more beautiful with you in it," he tucked a strand of stray hair that had fallen out of her pony-tail behind her ear.

"Oh, John," she blushed. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks to you."

"You would've kept putting up with those headaches if I had not said something, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, probably," he admitted with a sly smile.

The next morning, Catherine found a bouquet of exotic flowers sitting outside the door of her quarters. Picking up the accompanying card, she opened it and read, _"These are Shirui lilies and Brahma Kamal flowers. Their soft beauty reminds me of you. – John."_

Catherine smiled, picked up the vase of flowers, and took it inside to put it on her coffee table. Sitting back with a cup of Earl Grey, she started to reflect on everything that had occurred recently.

"Wait a minute! How could I be so stupid," she sat up putting her mug down. "No, he can't be! Could he? It's impossible! Yet, it makes sense. Eugenics Wars, cryogenics, a love of Indian cuisine, reading and speaking Hindi, the sari and sherwani, a Khanum, the flowers native to India, his ability to heal quickly, his physical prowess."

She grabbed her PADD and pulled up John's medical profile to see if Dr. Smith's DNA analysis was finished yet. Seeing that the computer had actually just completed the analysis at 0233 that morning, she gasped reading the report.

"_DNA analysis complete. Human augment. Select strands of DNA have been resequenced enhancing subject's agility, strength, intelligence, senses, emotions, and immune system. Mal-formation in base-pair sequences regulating neurotransmitters suggests subject is prone to aggression, even violent behavior."_

Catherine ran to her desk and initiated a comm link tapping her fingers impatiently waiting for the person she was contacting to answer. A young woman with auburn hair wearing a red Starfleet uniform dress appeared on the screen.

"Marla?"

"Catherine, how are you? I haven't seen you since we graduated from Starfleet Academy!" the young woman replied.

"Where are you working?"

"New Delhi, why?"

"Um, well, do you have any leave time available?"

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm in London. I really need to talk to you in person. I know we were never really close. Actually, we were pretty competitive during our time at the academy, but, I really need your help with something."

"Well, I could use a little break from things. I'll see what I can do and get back to you as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Marla."

"Anytime, Catherine," she smiled before the screen went black.

"_She can help me confirm my suspicions. I know Marcus has been hiding information from us, but John admitted he has his own secrets, too. Could he be who I think he is?"_


	12. Marla McGivers

**A/N: Thank you reviewers and followers! I hope you are enjoying this story. Things are starting to heat up. I definitely wanted to include Marla in my story. As much as I loved Into Darkness, I was a little disappointed that they didn't include her in some way. For my fellow Whovians, I included a modified a River Song quote. Kudos to those who can pick it out. :)**

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12. Marla McGivers

(Listening track selection: "Out of Time" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold)

Catherine quickly grew frustrated, as she did not hear from Marla at all as soon as she had hoped. Before she knew it, over three entire weeks had passed. She continued to catch herself thinking she could hear John's thoughts and started to wonder if she truly was losing her sanity as she only ever shared a telepathic link with her mother. Despite her apprehension, she continued to try to live life to the best of her ability given her and John's circumstances.

"Good morning," she smiled walking into his lab to perform her daily scans and to monitor if his headaches were improving.

"Ugh," he grunted as he fiddled away on the circuitry of a photon torpedo.

"Not a good morning, then?" she set a cup of hot Darjeeling beside him.

"I've had better," he frowned.

"I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help?"

"Could you just stay with me for a little while? We have both been very busy with our work. We do not get to see much of each other lately outside of your daily scans."

"Sure, I have some time to spare once I'm done. I can write my nursing notes here," she started scanning him per their usual routine. "How are the headaches?"

"At the moment, much improved thanks to your intervention."

"Good. Now if only the stress was better," she frowned. "Your blood pressure is up again. I'll give you a dose of medication for your anxiety."

As she used a hypospray to inject the anxiolytic medication into his neck, she could immediately see the tension in his shoulders relax. "Oh, Catherine," he exhaled. "Thank you."

"Better?'

"Much," he reached and took hold of her hand before placing a kiss on the back of it. "I almost forgot," he smiled suddenly. "I have a solution to our communication issue."

"Oh?"

"Here," he walked over to a locked cabinet. Punching in the combination to unlock it, he opened the door and pulled out a pair of communicators. "I programmed them myself. They are encrypted so that they can only communicate with each other. The likelihood that they can be tapped into by an outside signal is slim to none."

"John, this is excellent!" she took the communicator he handed her. "How did you find the time to come up with these?"

"I make time for that which is important to me. You are important to me, Catherine."

"Oh, John," she took his hand and led him back to his work taking a seat beside him to do her own.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just don't know what to say," she blushed before awkwardly leaning over and placing a quick peck on his cheek.

"Sometimes words are inadequate," he turned on his stool to face her. "Sometimes, Catherine, actions speak louder than words," he gently put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her close to him before kissing her on the lips.

Catherine at first was unsure what to do and tentatively put her hand on his chest. As he deepened the kiss, however, she soon found herself returning the kiss and her hand was playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. As she reached up with her other hand up to gently stroke his cheek, she suddenly lost her balance on the stool on which she was sitting and fell into John's arms with a slight yelp.

"Forgive me," he stabilized her and helped her back onto the stool. "I was too bold. I suppose I am overly accustomed to taking what I want. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"No, John," she sighed and leaned in towards him again, "it was lovely." She leaned in and cupping his cheeks with her hands started to tenderly kiss him again. As the passion of their kiss gradually increased, John tangled his fingers in her hair gently pulling some of it loose from her ponytail. Suddenly, Catherine's PADD beeped loudly startling both of them. "Oh heavens!" she gasped and put her hand over her heart. "That scared me to death," she and John started laughing.

"I suppose we should get back to work," he smiled affectionately.

"Yes, I believe you're right," she picked up her PADD to see what the alarm was about. "Hmm," she hummed as she read the message that created the alert.

"Something wrong?"

"Oh, no, it's just a message from one of my old classmates, Marla. She is going to be here in London giving a lecture, and she wants to meet and catch up."

"Well, that should be nice."

"Yes, I haven't seen her since we graduated from Starfleet Academy. Well, I should probably get back to the lab before Dr. Smith starts wondering what happened to me."

"You might want to fix your hair," John noted her hair was a bit of a mess from him playing with it as they kissed.

"Oh dear, you're right. Do you have a mirror handy?"

"No, but here, let me," he walked behind her and gently pulled out the hair band freeing the rest of her hair from the ponytail. Softly running his fingers through her brown curls to untangle them, he then pulled some of the hair away from her face and secured it with the hair band. "There. Soft, natural, simple, it is becoming on you this way."

"And it's still regulation. Not that it matters here," she smiled before side hugging him briefly and leaving. Upon returning to her lab, she reread Marla's message more thoroughly.

"_Catherine, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long. There was a fire in our archives, and I've been working tirelessly to try to organize the cleanup and preservation efforts. Now that things are under control here, in a couple of weeks, I will be able to come to London to see you. I have a short lecture to give, but after that I'll be free. Besides, after this chaos, I'll definitely need some time off! Let me know if this works for you. – Marla."_

Catherine quickly typed out a reply, _"That definitely will work for me. I'll have to work, but my evenings are free. Let me know a couple of days before you come so that we can make our plans to meet. – Catherine." _She then went to the room containing the cryotubes to scan the two sleeping members of the _Botany Bay _crew. Dr. Smith walked in as she finished scanning the first subject.

"Lieutenant, are you wearing your hair differently?" he asked noting her hairstyle.

"It is still regulation, Dr. Smith," she smiled.

"Of course. So, how is Harrison today?"

"Stressed out as usual, but he reports his headaches have improved."

"Have they really? Has the amantadine really been effective?"

"Well," Catherine sighed, "no, I do not think he was being completely honest with me. I know he trusts me, or at least, I sense that he does, so I'm not sure why he isn't admitting that he's still suffering."

"Pride perhaps? I'm sure it took a lot for him to admit he was in pain in the first place."

"True, men," she paused, "no offense, Doctor."

"None taken."

"Men often do not always readily admit to having pain. Also, given his position, his background, I do not think he ever would want to admit to something that would make him look weak."

"Lieutenant, you have no idea how much I appreciate your insight. We were lucky that you applied for this position. I think sometimes it's easy for those of us in this field and especially in Section 31 to forget that our patients are people, and usually human, just like us. While I am not quite as guilty as Marcus in regards to mistreating Commander Harrison, I still have been guilty in the past of treating him as some kind of machine. You, however, with your abilities, have been able to see past his cold exterior and into his heart. Thank you, Catherine, for reminding me why I became a doctor in the first place," he looked at her earnestly. "You don't mind that I called you informally by your first name, do you?"

"No, that's quite alright. We work so closely together as colleagues, but I also feel that you, Luke, are a friend. And, thank you for your kind words for they have reaffirmed that my work here has been worth it. I still at times struggle with my doubts about our mission."

"I understand and feel the same. By the way, I'm sorry in that I completely forgot to tell you, but my DNA analysis of Commander Harrison finished up a few weeks ago."

"It's okay. I saw the results myself, and I'm not sure what to think. He's an Augment."

"Although I may seem a bit naïve and innocent, I do have friends in high places that owe me some favors. They've thoroughly looked through all of Section 31's top-secret medical files, and although in the past the organization has done some morally questionable research, they have never done any genetic experimentation that would correlate with creating augmented human beings."

"Then where did John come from?"

"I looked at his DNA a bit closer after seeing the results, and, Catherine, I don't think you're going to believe this."

"Tell me, Luke."

"As you know, at the end of our chromosomes, we have repeated sequences of DNA called telomeres. They do not code for anything and serve only as protection. As we age, our telomeres shorten. Commander Harrison's telomeres are entirely too short in order for him to be only 30 years old. It makes no sense whatsoever, but their length suggests that he is at least over 100 years old!"

"Actually, I am not surprised. I have a theory, but until I can confer with one of my friends to confirm it, I do not want to tell you just yet. And no, you're not crazy. I myself at times recently have wondered if I was going insane," she smiled.

Finally after weeks of anticipation on Catherine's behalf, Marla McGivers arrived in London. A couple of days into Marla's visit to London, after meeting Marla at her hotel, the two went to a local restaurant to catch up with each other.

"I didn't know you went back to school to Starfleet Medical to become a nurse," Marla smiled as they looked over the menu. "Do you enjoy it?"

"Even though it's not always easy, yes, I do enjoy it. I will always love history, though, and my love of history is part of why I need to speak with you so desperately."

"What's wrong, Catherine? I've never known you to look so worried."

"You specialized in the Eugenics Wars era, did you not?"

"Yes, I did my dissertation on the topic."

"Good, good. We'll have much to discuss, then, when we get back to my quarters. For now, let's just enjoy catching up with each other," Catherine smiled.

After enjoying a good meal, discussing memories of their time at Starfleet Academy, and updating each other on what they had been doing since they graduated, the two women returned to Catherine's quarters. After making Marla and herself some tea, Catherine had the historian sit on the couch with her.

"Marla, if I remember correctly, not all of the Augments were executed after the Eugenics Wars, correct?"

"That's right, Cath. About 90 were unaccounted for after the wars and after they were all condemned to death for crimes against humanity."

"Crimes that not all of them were guilty of committing," Catherine frowned.

"I see that we agree on that point. Right, not all of them were tyrants."

"Do we know what happened to them?"

"No, some have hypothesized that they reintegrated themselves into society, others may have lived out the rest of their lives in areas that were inhospitable to average humans."

"Marla, I invited you here because I need your help. I know I can trust you to keep a secret."

"What's wrong, Catherine?" Marla knit her brow in concern as she put her cup of tea on the coffee table.

"Well," Catherine picked up her PADD, pressed a few commands, and turned it to show Marla, "does this man look familiar to you?"

"Hmm," Marla took the PADD and studied the picture briefly. "Not really," she moved to hand it back to Catherine. "Wait!" she pulled the PADD back and looked up a file. "He looks like one of the Augment leaders. His name was Khan Noonien Singh," she handed back the PADD to show Catherine a picture of the Augment ruler.

"Oh my," Catherine put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. "It is John. He's exactly who I thought."

"What's going on here? Catherine?" Marla asked as Catherine began to weep. "Shh, I'm sorry," she patted her on the back. "Take your time."

Calming down, Catherine explained everything. "Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked finishing her explanation of the situation.

"No, not at all. I think your theory makes complete sense."

"You are being sincere," Catherine noted. "From the very beginning, I have felt as if Admiral Marcus has been lying to me, but it all makes sense now. John's, I mean, Khan's strength and ability to heal so easily, his love of Indian culture, his ability to speak fluent Hindi, the cryotubes, his DNA, all of it leads to the missing Augments from over 300 years ago. Those people from the _Botany Bay_ are his followers. No wonder he is so protective of them. Oh no," she gasped. "I think Marcus must be using them as hostages. He's using them to force John to do what he wants. He's always saying that lives are at stake. Poor John."

"You love him, don't you?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"I may not be a Betazoid, Catherine, but a woman can tell when her friend is in love."

Catherine picked up her PADD with the pictures of Khan and John side-by-side on the screen. "You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them," she looked lovingly as she pointed to the picture of Khan. "It's like they're not quite finished; they're not done yet. Just think, he probably saw whole armies turn and run away, and here he is, 300 hundred years later, working in a hole in the ground enslaved by a madman. And yet, he is so gentle, so tender with me."

"Khan was said to be the best of the Augment rulers. Even though he greatly restricted the freedom of his subjects, there were no massacres or internal wars. He only went to war after being attacked."

"I love him dearly. I can tell he has affection for me, but sometimes he is difficult for me to read. We have, well," Catherine blushed, "kissed."

"What was it like? I am asking out of professional curiosity, of course," Marla teased.

"Oh, of course," Catherine laughed. "It was lovely. He is a very passionate man, but he is quite the gentleman. I just wish there was something I could do to help him and his people."

"Something tells me that you just being there for him at the moment is enough. I'm sure you also already have figured this out, but you should also keep quiet about his true identity."

"Agreed, and for now, I do not plan on telling him I know. At least, that is, not until the right moment. It's a pretty big bombshell to drop."

"Yes, and I'm sure, from what you've told me about his current situation, he's under enough stress."

After a few moments of silence, Catherine looked at Marla, "Do you want to meet him?"

"Really?"

"Sure, I told him a friend of mine was coming to visit."

"Well, okay!"

Catherine picked up the communicator John had given her off of her side table and flipped it open. Turning the dial, she signaled him. "Hello, Catherine," his deep voice answered bringing a smile to her face.

"Hello, John. I wanted to know if you wanted to meet my friend Marla that is in from New Delhi on a visit."

"I would like that very much. Would dinner tomorrow evening be adequate?"

"Of course, John, that would be lovely."

"Very well, I will let you ladies choose where you would like to go. Is 1800 a good time?"

"Yes, that works well."

"I will meet you both at your quarters then."

"Good night, John. See you in the morning."

"Good night, Catherine."

"Well?" Catherine looked at Marla after she closed the communicator.

"His voice is amazing. I got chills hearing him speak. Can you imagine, Catherine, hearing him speak to the crowds? Hearing him urge on his people in battle?"

"He does tend to have that effect on me as well," Catherine grinned. "When he had me climb El Capitan, hearing him encourage me to push onwards inspired me to keep going."

"I greatly look forward to meeting him. Don't worry, I will do my best not to let on that I know his true identity."

The next evening, the three enjoyed their meal together. Marla did her best to keep herself from staring in awe at John, but he did not notice, as he was too busy staring lovingly at Catherine. Marla could easily see just how gentle he was with Catherine and how much he adored her.

"Catherine, he adores you," Marla smiled after the two women returned to Catherine's quarters once again.

"Do you really think so?"

"Absolutely, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you."

"He often tells me that I am a superior woman. I do not know exactly what he means by that, but I suppose he does care very deeply for me."

"I must admit that I am quite jealous. If you didn't get to him first, I would have been happy to have him," Marla teased.

"If our lives were not changed thanks to Nero, perhaps he would have been yours," Catherine laughed.

"Be good to him. He must feel so lost here in this century. Right now, you must be the only constant, the only person in his life that he can depend on to be there for him."

"He looked so lonely when I first saw him asleep in his cryotube. There are still times when I catch him looking so sad. My heart aches for him. He himself has admitted that he wishes he had someone who could help him bear his burdens. He is afraid that Marcus would come after me if he knew we were involved. I don't care, though, what might happen to me. I just want to protect John."

"He and his people probably entered cryostasis in hopes of awakening in a new time or place where they would be accepted. It is a shame that we humans truly have not changed since their time. Whatever happens, Catherine, I will keep both of your secrets, and if there is anything I can do, just let me know."

"Thank you, Marla. In the future, John and I may need your help. You are a good friend, or, as John would say, you are a superior woman," the two smiled before saying their goodbyes.


	13. Back to Work

**A/N: Getting a double dose this weekend. Included a credited Harry Potter quote as it fit the moment. Enjoy!**

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13. Back to Work

(Listening track selections: "Back to Work" and "Elegy" by David Arnold and Michael Price)

After Marla helped to confirm Catherine's suspicions in regards to John's true identity, she prepared to tell Dr. Smith about her discovery knowing that other than Marla, he was the one other person she could currently trust with John's secret.

"How was your time with your friend from out-of-town?" Dr. Smith asked as they were running a diagnostic on one of the cryotubes.

"Oh, it was very nice. It's kind of funny now. Back in our time at Starfleet Academy, I felt like Marla was a rival of sorts. Now, I consider her to be a dear friend. We can let such petty things interfere with our relationships with others."

"I know what you mean. In my teens, I didn't talk to my best friend for over two months after I thought he was dating the girl I told him I was interested in at the time. Turns out he was just tutoring her for her calculus class."

"So, um, you know how I told you that I have a theory about John?"

"Oh, yes, did you get the information you needed?"

"Yes, Marla confirmed my theory, and I don't feel like I'm crazy now. She's a historian."

"A historian? What does this have to do with the here and now and with Harrison no less?"

"Remember you said his telomeres are too short?" Smith nodded. "Do you by chance recognize this man?" she asked as she picked up her PADD and showed him the picture of Khan.

"Well, it looks like Commander Harrison, but it can't be him, can it?"

"This is Khan Noonien Singh. He was an Augment leader during the Eugenics Wars. He and about 90 others went missing at the war's end after the Augments were condemned to death. And, he is Commander John Harrison."

"It's kind of crazy, but it makes sense. Catherine, this is brilliant! What even triggered you to think of this?"

"All of the pieces of the puzzle have been slowly coming together in my head. You probably didn't know that John speaks fluent Hindi, loves Indian culture, and has spent quite some time in India. These were just some of the things that I have learned from spending time with him and alerted me to something different about him. It was only recently, however, that I really became concerned. You see, I only share a telepathic link with my mother. For everyone else, I have empathic abilities. With John, and I don't know how or why, I sometimes can read his thoughts."

"Perhaps the very fact that he is an Augment is why you have that connection with him," Smith suggested.

"I do think that is part of it. His emotions are so much stronger, and he feels so much deeper than average humans. And," she paused, "I think the fact that John and I have developed some sort of relationship has also something to do with it."

"Well, whatever the nature of your relationship with him may be, it is ultimately none of my business. I know we're not really supposed to have relationships with coworkers and in our case our patients, but don't worry, I will tell no one about his identity or your involvement with each other. He has changed since you have been here with us. You have been good for him. I'm afraid to know what he would be like right now if you weren't here given all of the troubles he's been having with Marcus and these mysterious headaches. Chronic headaches, which given his ability in the past to heal without any trouble, he shouldn't even be having."

"He has admitted to me that he has been so very lonely," she frowned. "I'm glad that I can be a companion to him and that he has at least one person to support him."

"So, if he is actually Khan, does that mean these are his people?" Smith motioned to the cryotubes.

"Yes, I believe they are, and that is what worries me. I have sensed him being quite protective of them, and I am concerned that Marcus is using them as pawns in some sort of sick game."

"All the more reason for us to protect them to the best of our abilities and to treat them well. They are already so vulnerable in this state."

"I agree, and they had no choice ending up in Marcus' hands like this."

After finishing up with Dr. Smith, Catherine went to John's lab as scheduled. By this time, he had given his security code to her so she could let herself in anytime she needed to do her scans on him. She punched in the code and walked in finding him closing up the photon torpedo he had been working on for weeks.

"Finishing up before the weekend?" she walked inside the door.

"Yes, I have submitted the information for this prototype a couple of days ago. The engineers have already replicated a couple, and in about half an hour, they will be performing a test run."

"What features do these torpedoes have that typical torpedoes don't?" she asked her eyes full of curiosity.

"They are long-range photon torpedoes making them difficult to be traced back to their ship of origin. The inner casing shields the fuel compartment and warhead payloads from sensors."

"Oh John," Catherine sighed.

"I know, Catherine. I do not like them either. It would be all too easy to use them to start a war."

"You've had no choice, though, in the matter," she put her hand on his shoulder knowingly.

"No, I have not," he cringed. "Weapons should only be used for defense and to preserve peace, to protect the ones you love," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I must admit, John, that the thought of war frightens me. There was enough pain and suffering after the destruction of the fleet and Vulcan. I cannot bear the thought of a large-scale war and the annihilation it could bring about."

"Know this, Catherine," he turned her to face him and leaned over slightly to be on the same level of her eyes, "no matter what happens, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe. I owe you that."

"Thank you," she took hold of his hands and squeezed them. "I do feel safe with you," she gently smiled.

"How good are you at using a phaser?"

"Not that great. I passed my certification testing, but I have not really had much experience with using a phaser since."

"Perhaps it would be a good idea for me to teach you how better to yield the weapon."

"Sure, I would like that. I want to be able to protect myself."

"Good, we will start practicing in the near future."

Later that morning, John sat watching his view screen anticipating the results of the testing of the long-range photon torpedoes he had designed. Dr. Uzumaki appeared on the screen, "Commander Harrison, your torpedoes are a failure! They self-detonated only several thousand feet from their point of origin. This is not good enough. Keep working out the bugs! Admiral Marcus will be contacting you shortly to de-brief you on the trial run."

John grinned slyly to himself satisfied that the trial was a failure just as he had planned. Admiral Marcus appeared suddenly on the screen cutting his little victory short. "Harrison! You think I couldn't tell that you purposely rigged the torpedoes to self-detonate close to their point of origin! You better get it together! I'm not in the mood for your games anymore. Perhaps I need to remind you who's in charge here." John's face turned white. "Harrison, are you even listening to me?"

"That is not my name!" John growled as he became enraged. "Don't you dare harm them!"

"Oh, you're hardly in a position to be making threats, son. I better get results and soon, or you'll deeply regret it!" Marcus shouted before the view screen went black.

"No!" John threw his stool across the room. He then sank to the floor, pushed the hair that was now hanging loosely in his face back, and held his hands to his head. "Ugh," he winced in pain as his head pounded. "No," he gasped as he started to weep.

Early Monday morning, Catherine met Dr. Smith to get their tea before heading to their lab. As the door swooshed open, a wall of horrid odor hit them. "Oh God," Catherine covered her mouth and nose with her collar as she walked inside, "what is that smell?"

"Oh no," Smith tried not to gag as he also walked into the lab, "the cryotubes!"

The pair ran in to where the two cryotubes were being kept, and the smell was even stronger when they entered. The lights on the panels of the cryotube containing the male were out, and a faint buzzing noise emanated from the circuitry. The glass of the cryotube was dripping with condensation preventing the two from seeing inside.

"Shit!" Smith swore. "This doesn't look good, Catherine. We're going to have to force it open."

"I think there's a crowbar in the storage closet," Catherine noted before going to retrieve it.

Using the crowbar, Dr. Smith pried open the lid of the cryotube and pushed back the glass cover. Both he and Catherine tried not to gag as the smell of rotting flesh wafted out of the opening.

"What happened?" Catherine started to get tears in her eyes both from the smell and from being upset.

"There's clearly nothing we can do here. I'll need to do an autopsy. If you're willing, I'll need some help."

"Of course, I will help."

"Then we'll need to take a look at the cryotube. I'm suspecting there was some sort of malfunction."

"Do you think he suffered?" she asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, I doubt he even knew what was happening."

"He does look quite peaceful. Oh, how awful! I wish there was something we could have done to prevent this! Damn it!"

"Are you sure you'll be alright with helping with the autopsy?"

"Yes, sorry, it's just never easy losing a patient."

"I know. Shit, what about Harrison?"

"Don't worry. I'll figure out how to tell him without giving away that I know this man was one of his people."

"Just be careful. He might lose it."

"I know, but I trust him not to hurt me. Besides, I think he would rather hear it from me than anyone else. We didn't even know the poor man's name," she sighed.

After the pair suited up and used a transporter to move the body of the deceased man into the small surgical suite in their lab, Smith started the autopsy with Catherine's assistance. Despite the rotting flesh, Catherine could not help but note that the man was as muscular as John although somewhat smaller in build.

"This man was completely healthy. Nothing to suggest his death was due to disease or injury. I suspect that there was a malfunction with the cryotube, but until I examine it, I cannot confirm that," Dr. Smith concluded as the cleaned up post-autopsy.

"Are you going to analyze his DNA?" Catherine asked suggestively.

"Good idea," he loaded a couple of blood samples into the centrifuge. "While I think we are correct, this will all the more confirm the identity of these people. You go ahead and get cleaned up. Take the rest of the afternoon off if you need it. I'll just be fiddling around with the cryotube the rest of the day."

"Thank you," she sighed. "Besides, I think I want to tell John and get it over with as soon as possible."

Catherine got a quick shower trying to hold back her tears as she washed the scent of rotting flesh out of her hair. After drying off and getting dressed, she went to the cafeteria to have a small bowl of broth and a piece of toast to satisfy her hungry but slightly upset stomach. When she was finished, she made the slow journey to John's lab. Letting herself inside, she was surprised to see that he was not there at the moment. Noticing his stool flipped over across the room, however, she knew something was not right.

"John," she whispered to herself as she set it upright again at his workstation. She started to organize some of the designs on the countertop in a neat pile when she discovered a small swatch of fabric. _"It's the same fabric used to make my sari,"_ she thought as she held it to her cheek. _"How am I going to tell him? It's going to break his heart!" _she started to cry.

As John walked into the lab, he found her sitting on the stool with her head in her arms on the counter sobbing. "Catherine, what's wrong?" John approached her concerned. "Shh," he gently rubbed her back to soothe her.

"Oh John, it was terrible," she gasped lifting up her head.

"What happened? Please, you can tell me. Did someone hurt you? Did Marcus do something to you?" She started to sob even deeper. "No, Catherine, please, it's alright. I'm here. Take your time and calm down," he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry. I have failed you," she weakly started after calming down.

"What do you mean, dear one?"

"Dr. Smith and I came in this morning from the weekend. We never received any alerts that anything was wrong. We walked into the lab, and it smelled like rotting flesh. Oh God, he's dead," she started to weep again.

"Catherine, who's dead?"

"The man in the cryotube. Something happened over the weekend. He literally died in his sleep. Dr. Smith says that he didn't suffer, but I wish there was something we could have done. I helped him with the autopsy. The smell was terrible. He died a natural death. No disease, no injury. A perfectly healthy man is dead! Dr. Smith is examining the cryotube now to see what malfunctioned. I could have done something!" she started to cry again.

"_Ricardo,"_ John thought as he held her again and tried not to shed tears of his own for his lost comrade. _"Nandi will be heartbroken."_

Clearly hearing his thoughts, Catherine collapsed into his arms even further in grief. "I didn't even know his name. He had nothing to identify him, but he was a person with hopes and dreams and family. And now he will be buried in an unmarked grave with only a small placard designating him as a John Doe. He will not even have anyone to grieve him."

"No, Catherine," he tilted her chin up to look at him before wiping the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs, "you already are grieving for him even though you do not even know him, and together, we will both honor him even if the rest of the world or galaxy will not. Come now, do not cry so," he helped her to her feet. "It makes your eyes red," he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"John, how do you do it? How do you hold in the pain?" she asked sensing that he was as overcome with grief as she was despite him not shedding a single tear.

"My circumstances have molded me to be this way. Showing emotions can sometimes be mistaken as weakness. I do care, though, Catherine."

"I know, John, you do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. There is no shame in what you are feeling, John. On the contrary, the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."*

"Oh, Catherine," he shuddered at her words as a couple of tears fell from his eyes, "my angel. You know my heart so well."

"I will let you know once he is buried so that we can honor him properly," she said almost in a whisper before kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm only a call away if you need anything," he brushed the hair out of her face before she turned and left to go home to her quarters. After she was gone, John went to his view screen and opened a comm link to contact Marcus. "You bastard," he seethed through his teeth as a couple of hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I told you, Harrison, that I don't really feel like playing games anymore. So, I changed my mind. Thought you needed a reminder of what is at stake here. Now get back to work!" Marcus barked before severing the comm link. John trudged over to the prototype torpedo and through burning tears got back to work.

The next morning, Catherine plodded into the lab hoping that Dr. Smith wouldn't notice the dark circles under her eyes. "His name was Ricardo," she frowned. "I think her name is Nandi. From what I'm guessing, they were lovers."

"How did he take it?" Dr. Smith frowned back.

"Well, he didn't fly into a fit of rage at least while I was there. He's full of grief, though, and I sense that he feels as if he has failed them. We are going to do something, though, to honor the deceased man. I think it will help John to heal and will give me closure."

"Good, that will be helpful for both of you."

"Was it the cryotube?"

"Yes, it was. The circuitry was fried. It looks like there was an overload somewhere. There's no reason, though, that it should have happened."

"So, someone else did it. Someone else used an outside source to overload the system."

"Exactly what I was thinking. God, I hate this," Dr. Smith put his hand on the back of his neck. "I don't like my patients or fellow human being used as cannon fodder."

"I'm sick of this, of all of it! I swear, if I had the opportunity, I think I'd kill Marcus myself," she spat.

"I know, Catherine, I know. Try to hold on for me and especially for John."

That afternoon Catherine stormed into John's lab throwing her tricorder and medical scanner on the countertop actually causing him to jump slightly. "Catherine, what is it?" he asked surprised to see her face full of rage.

"Teach me how to use a phaser properly. Right now, John!"

"Alright, fine. I can see you are quite eager. Let's go," he led her down the hall to a simulation area used for testing prototype phasers. Opening a case, he pulled out a phaser and holster for each of them. After securing his own holster and gently wrapping the other holster around her waist, he set both phasers to stun before handing her one. "I'm sure you already know this, but first and foremost, never aim a phaser carelessly," he reminded her seeing that her phaser was aimed in his direction.

"Sorry, how stupid of me," she redirected her aim.

"It's alright, it's only set to stun on the lowest setting, and I'm pretty much unharmed by that level of firepower as I have grown accustomed to it," he smiled. "Face the target, the one shaped like a Romulan," he instructed her as he stood behind her. Gently correcting her stance, he reached around her enveloping her hands and the phaser helping her to aim. "Take a deep breath, and when you're ready to fire, breathe out and press the trigger."

"Okay," she nodded as he let go of her hands. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the target. As she exhaled she fired the phaser hitting the target directly in the chest.

"Excellent!" he clapped his hands on her shoulders. "You are a natural. Why did you struggle so much in your class at Starfleet Academy?"

"I suppose I was so nervous at the time. My instructor was rather intimidating, and I was worried that I would hurt someone. You are a wonderful teacher, John. I feel so at ease with you," she smiled.

"Now that you know how to properly position your body and aim, you should be just fine. Go ahead and practice with the stationary targets a few more times, and then we'll move on to moving targets."

Catherine, much to her surprise, quickly mastered firing at the stationary targets. She was soon able to quickly aim and fire at multiple targets, so John decided to progress her to the moving targets. After John demonstrated how to prioritize and fire at the moving targets, she followed suit.

"It's alright, Catherine," he reassured her after she missed a few. "It takes some practice. You are doing well."

"I never thought I was capable of that," she smiled as they finished up an hour later.

"Once again you were doubting yourself," he admonished her. "You never know what you're capable of until you try."

"You give me confidence, John. I feel stronger when you're with me."

"You have plenty of reasons to feel confident without me. You are stronger than you think," he smiled affectionately as he unbuckled the holster from her waist. "By next week, I expect that we can practice what it is like to be in a firefight. Like I said, you are a natural. Why are you suddenly so eager to learn to wield a phaser?"

"I'm tired, John," she scowled. "I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of us being used. I'm tired of those innocent people in the cryotubes being used. I'm tired of living in fear and feeling like we're living in a cage. I'm tired of Marcus, and if and when I have the opportunity, I just might kill him."

"That would almost certainly mean your death."

"I know, and I don't care. This is no way to live. I am willing to die if I knew it meant your freedom and the freedom of those people. I want you to be happy, John."

"But Catherine, I would absolutely not be happy. Losing you, not having you at my side, it would be the death of me," he panted.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I know that I am not always good at sharing my feelings, but, yes, I mean it with all my heart. Catherine, you have been a light to me in my darkest of days."

"John," she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss. "As much as I want to kill Marcus, I won't do it if that is what you want."

"I assure you that Marcus will pay for what he has done. I don't know when or how, but there will be justice. For now, I need you to be strong."

"I will do my best," she sighed. "Oh, by the way, they will have buried the man from the cryotube by tomorrow morning. Then we can go and pay our respects."

"Meet me at my lab at the usual time. Then we can go and honor him properly," he instructed her.

Meeting John at the appointed time, the pair found the small patch of green designated for the city's unclaimed bodies. Finding the freshly dug patch of ground with a small placard designating the deceased to be a John Doe with a serial number and approximate date of death, John placed a small bunch of purple flowers on top of the pile of moist dirt. _"Nandi always loved when you brought her African violets,"_ he thought.

Noting his sentiment, Catherine gently squeezed his hand. "Whoever he was, he is at peace. But it's still not fair," she sniffled.

"I know you wish you could have prevented this, Catherine, but sometimes there are things beyond our control. Doing this, though, does him justice," he reassured her.

"I hope so, John. Thank you for doing this with me," she put her arm around his waist.

"No, thank you, dear one," he leaned over and rested his head on her own as a tear rolled down his cheek.

*J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter_


	14. Demons

**A/N: Thank you again to all of my reviewers and followers. Enjoy!**

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14. Demons

(Listening track selections: "Demons" by Imagine Dragons, "Pieces" and "Not Alone" by Red)

Catherine knew John was grieving the recent death of Ricardo, one of his people who had accompanied him in cryostasis on the _SS Botany Bay_, but she herself was grieved in that she longed to comfort him and felt that she could not yet reveal to him that she knew his true identity. A couple of days after they had paid their respects and honored Ricardo's memory, Catherine went to see how John was doing not only physically but also emotionally.

"John?" she asked as she entered his lab and found him cradling his head in his hands. She quietly walked to his side and gently placed her hand on his shoulder, "John, are you alright?"

Taking a deep breath and sighing, he lifted his head and looked at her with reddened eyes, "Not really."

"Please, tell me what you need. What can I do to help you? You're in agony," she noted the pain showing in his eyes despite his usual strong countenance.

"My head is killing me. I do not understand why these headaches plague me."

"I'll ask Dr. Smith if we can increase the amantadine. You've been on a rather low dose."

"If you insist," he groaned lightly leaning his head on one of his hands.

"John," she tried to soothe him and leaned in to place a kiss on his temple. As her lips barely brushed his skin, he suddenly pulled away.

"I need to be alone."

"No, John, you need-"

"Woman," he interrupted her turning to glare at her, "I know better than you or anyone else what I need, and I need to be alone," he growled.

"I see," tears started to well in her eyes. "Excuse me," she turned and dashed out of the room so he would not see her cry. As the door swooshed shut, she quickly walked back to the lab glad that Dr. Smith was out-of-town for the day and that she would be alone. Walking into the room containing the now solitary cryotube, she backed against the wall and slid to the floor putting her face in her hands as she started to sob. _"I can't do this anymore. I cannot bear to see him hurting like this," _she thought. After crying a couple of minutes, she heard the door open and felt the presence of someone stooping down beside her.

"Catherine," John softly spoke her name. "I'm sorry," he apologized as she cried harder. He helped her stand to her feet. "Shh," he wrapped his arms around her to calm her. As she stopped crying, he cupped her face and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I lost my temper with you."

"It's alright, John. You're under so much pressure, and I can be a nag sometimes. I just want to help you."

"I know, and you do help me so wonderfully. I do not mean to push you away. You're always the one asking me this, but what can I do to help you? How can I make things better?"

"I just wish you could share your heart with me, all of it. It kills me to see you in so much pain everyday and not be able to help you. John, I just can't do this anymore," she pulled away from his grasp and stood by the cryotube. Placing on hand on the glass, she put the other over her mouth to stifle a sob as it escaped her throat.

John moved and stood on the other side of the cryotube. "Maybe it would be best for you to request a transfer. I cannot escape Marcus, but you can," he suggested placing his hand overtop of hers.

"Transfer? No, John! Giving up, quitting, would be letting Marcus win!"

"There is no shame in making your emotional health a priority over your career," he tried to reason with her.

"No, I absolutely will not leave! I'm not leaving you here to be treated like an animal!" she straightened her posture and stood resolutely. "I would rather die than leave you here completely alone."

John shut his eyes with Catherine's display of resolve and passion to continue her position and remain with him despite their tenuous and precarious situation. Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, he took her hand and walked around the cryotube to stand beside her. "Please know that I greatly desire to tell you everything, to share with you about the demons that haunt me. It is not yet right to do so. I need time. Please understand," he reached up and brushed a loose curl out of her face.

"I understand. It doesn't make it easier, but yes, I understand."

"Catherine, do you trust me?"

"With my very life, John."

"Good," he kissed her on the forehead. "I promise that I will not disappoint you."

Dr. Smith and Catherine felt that they were starting to make excellent progress in deciphering the systems used in the design of the cryotubes. Admiral Marcus soon had another cryotube transferred to the lab to take the place of the deceased Ricardo. This one contained a blonde man about the same size and build as John.

"Did they say exactly how many of these they found on the _Botany Bay_?" Catherine asked after they received their new subject.

"No, I have no idea. They are, however, kept somewhere in these facilities. At this rate, that is a good thing."

"Oh?"

"One of my friends did some digging for me again, and from what I can tell, the two of us have the greatest understanding in regards to how these cryotubes work and how best to care for those inside them. This means that they probably won't be moving them anytime soon. Section 31 is corrupt, but I do not think the leaders would risk accusations of genocide."

"I hope you're right," she sighed.

One Saturday morning, Catherine awoke to her PADD beeping loudly. "Computer, what time is it?"

"0456," the computer system in her quarters quipped.

"Lights. 50%," she ordered the computer before rubbing her eyes and sitting up. Catherine picked up the PADD, which read, "_URGENT. Report immediately to my office at London Section 31 headquarters upon receiving this message - Admiral Marcus."_

"What the hell could he possibly want? Of course it's a Saturday, too," she rolled her eyes and threw up her hands in disgust. "'There are no emergencies in rehab or research,' they said. They never had to work with Admiral Marcus! Bastard," she grumbled as she pulled on her slippers and made her way to the bathroom.

After quickly showering and making herself look somewhat presentable, Catherine grabbed an apple and headed to catch a shuttle to the Kelvin Memorial Archives. On her way to Marcus' office, she raised a brow as she walked past John's lab noting that an armed guard was posted at the door.

"Lieutenant Troi is here to see you, Admiral," the secretary, who was entirely too happy this early on a Saturday morning, reported over the intercom.

"Send her in," he curtly replied.

"I got your message, Admiral," Catherine showed her PADD to Marcus.

"Have a seat, Lieutenant Troi."

"Is something wrong, sir? There are never really any emergencies in a rehabilitation or research situation that I would be able to handle without Dr. Smith overseeing my work."

"Commander Harrison is what's wrong."

"Is he ill? Should I page the doctor?"

"He's off his rocker! I don't know what the hell is wrong with him," he shook his head in disgust. "I got back from a conference on New Vulcan and stopped by to check his progress. He was working late as always. He didn't look like his usual self. As I was about to leave, he started throwing things all over the lab like a maniac. I ordered him to stop, but he left the building and stormed off to his quarters. Local authorities received complaints from his neighbors about noise. I sent a couple of security officers to investigate the freak. He trashed his quarters, and they found him sitting in the middle of it all. He won't say a word, just stares into the distance."

"Why didn't they just call for a medical crew?"

"Harrison wouldn't have cooperated. It wouldn't have gone down well. I ordered them to just leave him alone and to post a guard to monitor the situation. And, so, here we are."

"What am I to be expected to do about it?"

"You have his trust. He'll open up to you. Besides, you can just use your Jedi mind tricks on him to figure out what's going on."

"Betazoid," she rolled her eyes.

"Jedi. Betazoid. Same difference."

"Sir, when I-"

"That will be all. Ensign Koenig will escort you to Harrison's quarters."

"But-"

"Report back to me once you have him figured out."

"Aye."

Catherine sulked the entire shuttle ride to John's apartment building. Granted, she did love John and would do anything she could to help him, however, she was exhausted and had been working so hard and was so frustrated with putting up with Admiral Marcus that she just wanted a day off to rest. Stretching her aching muscles, she stifled a groan as she climbed out of the transport shuttle when it had come to a stop in front of the tall building that contained the quarters that John had called home. The ensign led her inside and to his door on the 24th floor.

"Could you please wait down the hall?" Catherine asked the ensign and security guard.

"I don't think that is a good idea. This guy is a nutter," the guard pointed at the door.

"What is your rank?" No reply. "Ensigns. That's what I thought. I may be a nurse, but I am also a lieutenant. As your superior and as the medical provider for this man, I order you to wait down the hall."

"Yes ma'am," Ensign Koenig and the security officer responded and moped down the hall.

Catherine went to the door. _"Locked." _Pressing a button on the panel beside the door, "John? It's Catherine. Marcus wanted me to see you. Please, let me inside."

"Enter," a low voice sounded before the door whooshed open.

Catherine took in the view of John's quarters. _"He sure did a number on this place," _she thought. Just about anything that could be broken was smashed to pieces all over the floor. Only the plant from Betazoid that Catherine had given to him still sat intact in its pot on the kitchen counter, a small spot of life and peace amidst what looked like a war zone. John sat cross-legged on the floor in the living room facing the French doors leading to his balcony with his back to Catherine. The lighting was dim, and Catherine looked at his silhouette observing that his shoulders were trembling. Taking her medical gear off her shoulder, she quietly walked towards him.

"_I sense so much conflict, so much pain. Should I tell him that I know the truth?"_

When she reached where he was sitting, after carefully sweeping away a few pieces of a broken plate, she lowered herself and knelt beside him. "John?" she gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned his face away. Catherine decided to take the risk. She reached over and gently placing her hand under his chin, turned his head to face her. His hair was disheveled and hanging loosely in his face, eyes bloodshot and brimming with angry tears, and he had torn his shirt during his fit of rage. "Or should I say, Khan?"

John gasped lightly and looked her in the eyes as a fresh tear streamed down his cheek. "How? Only Marcus and his top staff know."

Catherine gently wiped the tear away with her thumb before sweeping the hair out of his face. "You're not the only one with secrets." He looked at her with a confused gaze. "I'm half-Betazoid."

"Your eyes. I always noted how different they were from everyone else's."

"Yes, our eyes are different."

"I just thought you had the genetic flaw aniridia and had no irises."

"No, I'm not that genetically flawed," she flashed a brief smile. "Betazoids are humanoid telepathic and empathic beings. And as I am only half-Betazoid, most of my abilities are empathic, but with those I am very close, like my mother, I have telepathic capabilities."

"Is this how you discovered the truth of my identity, my past?"

"Yes, we've been working together and have been close for some time now, but this was a very recent revelation. Remember I thought I was starting to hear things? I was starting to be able to read your thoughts. I want to protect you and your people. Only Dr. Smith, Marla, and myself know the truth, and once I figured out who you are, however, I vowed to myself that I would not tell anyone else whether I expected that they already knew or not. I wasn't even planning on telling you that I knew. I wanted to let you tell me when you were ready. I originally studied to be a historian and conferred with Marla who is an expert on your time period, and that contributed to my deduction."

"Then you know what history says of me and my people, of our role in the Eugenics Wars as they are now called."

"Yes, I do know what history says of these things, but I also know that the victors are the ones that get to write the history books. I know you, and I do not believe everything they have written about you."

"I am a savage, a monster," he turned away to look out the windows again his face growing stern.

"No, John, you're not. You're lovely. And despite what they say about you, under your rule, there were no mass killings. Although a bit restrictive, you were good to your subjects. You and the historians may say that you are a savage, but I can sense your feelings and know your beautiful heart," her hand slid down his bare chest and rested over his heart. "Yes, there is rage and anger, ferocity, but even more than that I sense love mingled with grief and concern."

"It was a mess from the beginning, the Chrysalis Project. Sometimes I feel like an accident, like none of the Augments including myself should have been born. We only showed that no matter what we bleed, we humans are all just made of greed. We were created in a world in chaos in hopes of bringing about peace. Yet, even from the beginning, the project was doomed. Sarina, my mother died when her lab exploded."

"She is the geneticist you spoke of so lovingly the night after we reanimated you."

"Yes, it was she. Granted, she was not really my biological mother, just a surrogate, but she was as much a mother to me as any. I was so young when she died. Regardless, I vowed to do my best to bring about the peace she so longed for and hoped could be achieved through my birth. It was not my goal to be a tyrant. One does not simply wake up one day and think, 'I want to be the next Hitler or Pol Pot.'"

"I must be cruel only to be kind. Thus bad begins and worse remains behind."

"Shakespeare, _Hamlet_, Act 3, Scene 4."

"I had a feeling that you knew that. Khan, you were so young when you came into power, and although you are superior in every way, at such a tender age you lost the one, your mother Sarina, who could have guided you in your rule. The relationship between a mother and her son is so powerful. A mother's love can tame even the wildest male's heart."

"She was so kind to everyone," he remembered with fondness. "I regret that I did not think of her more during my conquests. I feel as if I have shamed her, tarnished her memory. She would probably hate me as much as my subjects did."

"No, Khan, no, she would have loved you anyway, and not all of your subjects feared or hated you. Those that didn't like you often did so because they felt you were inhuman and were jealous of you."

"Just because I was conceived in a test tube does not mean I am only a tool to be used and thrown away. Just because I am genetically superior does not make me less human."

"If anything, it makes you more. John," she shook her head, "I'm sorry, I mean, Khan, as I have gotten to know you better, I can sense your feelings more easily than any other human I know, and you feel so much more strongly, deeply. Sometimes, your eyes, they shine so bright, and I can see such beauty in them despite the pain that I know dwells within your heart."

"Our self-imposed exile was done partially with the dream of starting a new life. We hoped not only to escape execution but also to find ourselves awakening in a new time and place where we would be accepted instead of treated as commodities. And yet, despite all the advancements, here I am. I am a slave to a prejudiced madman. Anyway, please, I insist that you call me John, which is what my mother actually had named me. Khan was only the title of my position as a leader, a creation of those who took me in after her death. Besides, as far as I have been told and been able to discover from running tests, my genetic donors were of British origin."

"John, what set you off? Why all of this destruction? Is there something, anything I can do?"

"I sabotaged another trial of my torpedoes. My people, my family," a fresh tear rolled down his cheek. "Marcus had them moved yesterday to a facility at an undisclosed location to punish me. Now I cannot monitor as easily what he is doing with them. I can only hope that he is not subjecting them to the same torturous experiments that they put me through. They have my sister and my nephew," he choked back a sob.

"The cryotubes! Oh, John, they haven't even told the doctor or myself," she rubbed his shoulder gently. "This is what sent you over the edge. Tell me about your family."

"My sister's name is Katrina, but I always called her Kati. She is the only one truly related to me by genetics. We were born from the same sperm and egg donors. Her husband, an Italian human named Giovanni, died breaking up a scuffle between two of my subjects. She was devastated, but having my nephew Luca saved her from her despair. He is such a sweet-natured child," he smiled. "Joachim, Suzette, Otto, and the others, they were all prepared to die for our cause and for me if they knew it would save lives or bring about peace. None of them deserve this! They're so vulnerable and have no choice as to what Marcus might have done to them!" he clenched his fists. "I would die for them if I knew it would guarantee their safety."

"John, I will try to help you in any way that I can. I will insist that they at least be brought back so that we can monitor them. Dr. Smith and I are the only ones knowledgeable about how best to treat them. I will not give away that I know your true identity. I promise with all of my heart," she leaned over and hugged him.

At first, her sign of affection surprised John. He could not remember the last time he had been hugged as Catherine had not even hugged him closely and intimately yet. Granted, his mother hugged him closely and often, but after her death, he could not even really recall hugging Kati or Luca. _"Had the wars really hardened my heart this much?" _he contemplated as he reluctantly returned the hug placing his hand on her back. _"I do think I could, however, grow accustomed to this," _he thought and closed his eyes as he listened to her quiet breathing in his ear. He nuzzled gently into her shoulder as he felt her small hand patting his strong back.

Catherine gently pulled away from the hug. "I better let our unwanted guests in the hallway know that I am alright and that they can leave," she explained as she got up from the floor. "Then I'll make you some tea."

"Tea. When people are upset, the cultural convention is to bring them hot beverages. "

"Yes, John," she laughed, "that's right." He smiled. "What?"

"Your laugh just makes me smile, that is all."

"Good, you need to smile more," she beamed back before returning to her errand.

"_What a superior woman,"_ he reflected regarding her figure as she walked to the door. _"A superior woman, indeed."_


	15. Tea Earl Grey Hot

**A/N: Finished this one up earlier than expected, so I wanted to get it posted for you all since I'll be at a conference this weekend. :) Catherine and John spend some time getting to know each other better. Enjoy!**

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15. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

(Listening track selections: "Alone Together" by Fall Out Boy, "Not Alone" by Red, and "Illumination" by Globus)

"Ensigns," Catherine walked into the hallway outside John's quarters.

"Everything alright in there?" Ensign Koenig jogged up the hall with his hand on his phaser in its holster.

"Everything is fine," she held up her hands. "Just a bit of a misunderstanding. Commander Harrison is not feeling well, so he is not quite himself," she lied. "I will oversee his care. Please let Admiral Marcus know that the situation is under control and that I will send him my full official report sometime on Monday."

"Are you quite sure?" the other young security officer hesitated.

"Yes, Commander Harrison and I have a certain understanding with each other which Admiral Marcus seems to comprehend. I have medicated the commander, and he should be well enough to return to his work on Monday. Go on and let the admiral know. You shouldn't keep him waiting," she smiled falsely.

"Yes ma'am," the two ensigns acknowledged her instruction and left.

"Silly boys," she shook her head and headed back inside John's quarters.

"They did not give you any trouble, did they?" John asked as he tried to clean up some of the mess that he had made.

"No, they're quite impressionable young men. It was not difficult to convince them to report to Marcus that you merely are not feeling well, that I've medicated you, and that you will be back to usual form by Monday," she smiled slyly.

"You've never been one to lie much before meeting me, were you?"

"No, I've never been much of a liar. In fact, I've always prided myself on my honesty. And no, I do not enjoy lying, but I do it to protect you and your family."

"I'm sorry that you have to lie on my behalf. Lying does not become you," he reflected as he scooped up a broken plate. "Ugh!" he winced as he sliced his fingertip on a piece of glass.

"Let me see," Catherine took his hand as a drop of blood gathered at the site of injury.

"No, watch," John pulled his hand free and sucked on the end of his bleeding finger to clean away the blood. "See?" he showed her his finger.

"It's already closed," she gasped noting the bleeding had stopped and the cut was already healed over with a thin line of fresh skin. "Then it is true. They did torture you several months ago. I saw your medical files. Oh John," she stroked his hand.

"Marcus originally had them experimenting on me just to see how my augmented body could handle injury, pain," he winced again slightly remembering the days of agony he experienced. "They, of course, soon discovered how my body quickly heals itself. I honestly do not know how or why it works."

"Is that why you injected me with your blood?"

"Yes, I felt horrid knowing what I had put you through. I could tell your wrist was broken again," he gently stroked the skin on her wrist. "I'm sorry. I imagine it frightened you greatly to discover that I had injected you with my blood like that."

"It was quite disconcerting," she laughed lightly. "I forgive you, of course. I, however, felt pretty good physically that morning after despite everything you put me through."

"I promise that someday I will not have to keep apologizing to you for my actions. You are so forgiving," he kissed her hand. "Now how's about some tea?"

"I'll make it. You go ahead and keep working," she walked to the kitchen area and started looking through the cupboards.

"Try the one above the sink."

"Ah, here we go, Darjeeling," she pulled out the tin. "Earl Grey?" she asked seeing the other tin tucked behind the Darjeeling.

"Yes," he smiled. "It's your favorite, is it not?"

"Of course it is," she smiled back before getting the kettle ready. After managing to find a couple of cups that were not destroyed during John's rampage, Catherine finished preparing their tea. "You work so quickly," she noted that much of his mess was cleaned up already.

"I am rather efficient," he took the cup of Darjeeling. "Please, sit with me," he motioned to his couch, which was now turned upright with its cushions back in place.

Catherine nestled on the couch as John sat closely beside her. "Your plant is doing well," she noted before sipping her tea.

"It is beautiful and reminds me of you. Learning of your Betazoid heritage today makes it all the more precious to me. Once again, you have me at a disadvantage in that you know much more about me than I know about you."

"What would you like to know?"

"Do you have family?"

"Yes. My father's name is Dylan. He grew up in Pennsylvania, and that's where I actually spent most of my time growing up as a child. My mother, Kestra, is from Betazed. I'm an only child, but I have many cousins both on Earth and Betazed with whom I spent many summer days playing."

"So, in my time you would've been an American?"

"Yes, I suppose that would have been my nationality."

"How did you end up at Section 31?" he asked.

"I actually majored in history during my time at Starfleet Academy," she began. "After the destruction of the fleet and Vulcan, however, I was able to sense all the pain of those around me. It was horrible, and I did have to somewhat try to shut it all out lest it overwhelm me. It was this event, however, that led me to decide to go back to Starfleet Medical to become a nurse."

"You wanted to be able to help ease the pain of others."

"Right, and I ultimately found myself enjoying the areas of rehabilitation and research. I had been assisting with some research studies at the academy in San Francisco, but as we completed the most recent project of which I was a member this past spring, I found myself out of a job. That was when I saw a posting for the position with Section 31. I signed up mostly out of curiosity. I never thought that I would really be contacted about it, but it all happened so quickly. They interviewed me, and Admiral Marcus gave me less that twenty-four hours to decide if I wanted it or not. He was insistent, however, that they needed me because of my psionic abilities. It was a pretty difficult decision."

"You have no idea how happy I am that you decided to join. I honestly don't know what condition I would be in right now if you weren't here," he gently placed his hand on her knee. "And I know that my family is safe in your hands."

"It hasn't been easy, John," she reached down and put her hand on top of his, "but I'm glad I decided to join, too. You've changed my life. I would not be who I am now without you."

"No, I have merely brought out the potential that you already had inside of you. I fail to understand why you always doubt yourself."

"I suppose that I just have a fear of being inadequate," she looked down at her lap. "My friends and family have been nothing short of supportive, but I have always felt like there are high expectations for me to excel. I suppose that I'm the one that puts the pressure on myself, but I just do not want to let anyone down."

"Forgive me if I am prying, but have you ever been involved romantically with anyone?"

"No, never," she replied sadly.

"You're lying," he smiled slyly and laughed.

"No, I'm not! It's true!" she swatted at him. "I've only been on one date. You were my first kiss."

"How could such a beautiful, accomplished, and kind woman be ignored by the men around her?" he turned slightly on the couch angling his body to face her better.

"Well, if you know the answer, please let me know!" she huffed. "I feel like I have a sign tattooed on my forehead warning the male species to stay away!"

"It is because they are all unworthy of you. You are superior."

"How, John? I'm awkward, clumsy, have little self-confidence, say the wrong things, cry too mu-."

"Stop," he put his hand gently over her mouth. "I do not want to hear you belittle yourself again. You are intelligent, strong, and care for those vulnerable and weaker than yourself," he stroked her cheek.

"But I'm not an Augment."

"You don't need to be an Augment for me to care about you, Catherine. You forget that more importantly than being an Augment that I'm human. I may be genetically superior, but deep down, I'm still just like you. Even you said that I'm more human than most."

"I just do not want to let you down," she sighed.

"I've already hurt you and upset you more than once. If anyone should be worried about causing disappointment, it's me."

A slightly uncomfortable silence settled between the pair as they sipped on their tea for several minutes before Catherine spoke. "I'd imagine you had many consorts and conquests during your time as Khan," she nervously took another sip of her tea.

"I did have a way with women. They were very attracted to me, Catherine, but I was in no way promiscuous. I will not lie to you. Yes, I have bedded a couple of women, but it was during my late teens. It was a couple of short-term flings, just adolescent curiosity. Once I completed my university education, however, and took on my responsibilities as Khan, I did not have the time or energy to devote to romantic attachments. Don't get me wrong, many women, both my subjects and other Augments, practically flung themselves at me. My duties as Khan, keeping the peace and keeping my family and my people safe, were for what I lived. In spite of this, I have always longed to have a family of my own."

"So, you never truly loved someone before."

"No," he paused and looked her in the eyes, "not until I met you. Oh Catherine, I should have told you sooner. I love you."

"I love you, too, John," she leaned forward to put her tea down.

He quickly followed suit putting his tea down beside hers before holding her close. "You're so beautiful," he cupped her cheek before putting his hand on the back of her neck pulling her in to kiss her passionately.

Catherine responded in kind kissing him roughly and tangling her fingers in his hair on the back of his head. With the encouragement of his tongue, she opened her mouth allowing him to deepen the kiss as she reclined back on the couch with him scooting on top of her. In their new position, she moved both hands to his back and slid them under his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. As he started to nip at her neck, she quietly mewed in his ear, "Oh John."

In hearing her aroused sigh, he quickly pulled away and jumped off of her and the couch. "I'm sorry. Please excuse me. I will only be a moment," he explained before walking quickly to his bathroom. Catherine could hear him turn on his shower. Several minutes later, he returned wearing a pair of burgundy silk pajama pants and a fresh black shirt that buttoned at the top.

"Did I do something wrong?" Catherine frowned.

"No, love," he sat down again beside her and hugged her briefly. "It's just that I do not think it is quite yet time for us to be physically involved. Please do not think that I do not want this, because I do. I had to stop myself lest I get too carried away. It has been far too long since I've been with a woman, and I do not want to hurt you, as you are a virgin. When I do bed you, Catherine, I want everything to be perfect," he tucked her hair behind her ear. "I only want to bring you pleasure."

"I understand. Thank you, John," she kissed him gently. "Do not keep me waiting too long," she teased.

"Although you clearly are quite eager, today is not the day. In the future when you are ready, let me know."

"I will," she smiled before picking up her tea again. "Ugh, it's gotten cold. Do you want me to warm yours up as well?"

"Our tea may be cold, but I would say things were rather hot in here not long ago," his voice grumbled seductively.

"You're killing me, John," she laughed as she picked up his cup of tea to heat it up as well. John watched her lovingly as she warmed up their cups of tea. "Here you go," she handed him his cup back before snuggling next to him. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly did they do to you? I need to understand what you went through."

John closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before answering, "They did many things to me."

"I'm sorry," she could feel an overwhelming sense of hurt fill his heart. "You do not need to tell me if it brings you too much pain."

"No, it's alright. It is probably better that I tell you," he pulled her close. "I was told upon awakening that I almost didn't make it through the reanimation process. They were not familiar with the technology that we had used. Upon learning my identity, Marcus soon set to work. I honestly do not remember the sequence of events, but I'm sure you could figure out their chronology from my medical records. One day was spent slicing away layers of my skin. Another day was spent burning me. Electrocutions took another entire day. They even had some wild creature I've never seen before maul me. I do not know how many days they carried on in this manner. It all started to blur together."

"I've never paid any attention enough to note your skin, but do Augments scar?"

"Yes, very lightly. Our scars are barely noticeable, but here," he unbuttoned the top of his shirt and pointed to a couple faint lines on his chest.

"Only the physical scars are barely noticeable," she lightly traced the scars on his chest before placing a gentle kiss over them. "It's the emotional and psychological ones that concern me," she frowned.

"You have reason to believe that I am traumatized?"

"Your headaches just worry me. Did a burst of plasma really hit you? Did you really have post neural shock syndrome? And with your ability to heal, why are you having these headaches?"

"No, there was no plasma burst nor did I have post neural shock syndrome. I do not remember clearly the events that led to my second time in cryostasis, but I have reason to believe that it was just Marcus punishing me again for insubordination. I am also puzzled by the headaches, but perhaps you are right. Perhaps it is merely my mind's attempt to cope with what happened to me physically."

"John, I'm so sorry about Ricardo."

"But I never told you his name," he slightly protested.

"Remember," she pointed to her head and tapped it lightly. "I've been able to read some of your thoughts."

"Right, I forgot about that. Just how much have you been able to hear?"

"Only little odds and ends here and there. It seems to especially happen when you're experiencing strong emotions like grief. Is Nandi the woman in the lab?"

"Yes, they were lovers," he gently rubbed circles into her shoulder with his thumb.

"That's what I had guessed. Were you close with them?"

"I do not know them very intimately, but they are still dear to me. They were always supportive of my decisions as Khan, and they were good to those in their care."

"I see. Does one dream during cryostasis?"

"I believe that I did dream during my time in cryostasis, but it is difficult to tell for sure. I may have slept for 300 years, but it felt as if I had just gone to sleep the day before when I was reanimated."

"Hmm," she hummed somewhat sleepily.

"You're exhausted, Catherine," he stroked her hair as she nuzzled into his shoulder. "You have been through much lately. Go to sleep," he kissed the top of her head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you need your rest," he took her cup of tea away lest she spill it in their laps.

After Catherine had quickly drifted off to sleep and he laid her down so her head was resting in his lap, John pulled out his PADD that had at some point ended up sandwiched between the couch cushions. Turning it on and opening up an application on which he could read books, he thought to himself, "_I'm not sure I'll ever get used to these things. It's just not the same. I miss the smell of books." _

Finding the location of his bookmark, he began reading where he had left off in Mary Shelley's _Frankenstein_. He softly read out loud, "I feel exquisite pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood, before misfortune had tainted my mind, and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self." Pondering the words of the Creature, he looked down at Catherine sleeping peacefully and stroked her hair away from her face. _"I have reason to believe that this beautiful woman has saved me from a fate similar to that of Frankenstein's Creature. I have found someone to love and love me in return despite the ugliness of my flaws."_

After John had spent some time reading and was quite sure that he would not awaken Catherine, he gingerly pulled himself out from under her sleeping form and placed a pillow under her head before finding a blanket to cover her. Cleaning up his quarters a bit more and looking over some weapons designs on his PADD, John then began to root around in his kitchen to see if he had something to make for Catherine and himself to eat for a very late lunch or rather an early supper. Realizing that he had not done any proper grocery shopping in a couple of weeks and groaning inwardly at the thought of having to eat yet another replicated meal, he quickly slipped out of his quarters to get some takeaway food to share with her.

Catherine rolled over on the couch and woke up once she realized John was no longer with her. Sitting up and rubbing her sleepy eyes, she stretched and called out his name, "John?" She picked up the communicator that he had given her, flipped it open and turned the dial only to discover after hearing a beeping sound nearby that he had left his own on the kitchen counter. "John, are you still here?" she asked loudly as she started to search the apartment. "John!" she rushed back into his bedroom.

John came back carrying a bag of Indian takeaway to discover his couch was vacant. "Catherine?"

"John!" she came rushing out of his bedroom.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you. I went out to get something for us to eat," he smiled sheepishly.

"How sweet of you," she smiled as he helped her onto a stool at the counter. After eating for a while in silence, Catherine put her fork down and wiped her mouth with a napkin before asking, "I heard you think of it once, but if we had met during your time as Khan, would you have wanted me as your Khanum?"

"You would have made a wonderful queen," he beamed. "My people would have loved you."

"Really?"

"Of course, you would have been like a new Mother Teresa to the people."

"Except if I was your Khanum, I would not be a virgin," she blushed.

"No, I would have quickly taken care of that," he grinned causing her to blush even more.

After their meal, the pair spent time working together to finish cleaning up his quarters. Sitting together on the couch once again getting to know each other better, John suggested that they watch something and offered to let her choose. "Have you ever seen _Doctor Who_?" she asked.

"Of course, it was quite popular during the twentieth century. During my time in university here in London, I did watch it every once in a while."

"Good!" she smiled and proceeded to pull up one of her favorite episodes "The Girl in the Fireplace" even though she knew it would make her cry. "This episode came out a few years after you boarded the _Botany Bay_," she noted as they started watching. By the end of the episode, she, of course, was in tears.

"One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel," John slightly sniffled quoting the character Reinette, Madame de Pompadour from the episode.

"You are my lonely angel," she kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm no longer lonely with you at my side," he nuzzled his face in her hair. Standing up and holding out his hand to her, he insisted, "Stay with me tonight."

"Okay," she took his hand as he led her to his bedroom.

"Would you like something more comfortable to wear while we sleep?" he asked noting she was in her uniform, boots, and tights. "I have plenty of extra shirts and lounge pants."

"They will be quite large on me, but sure," she nodded.

"Here you go," he opened a drawer and pulled out the articles of clothing.

"No peeking," she smiled and cautioned him.

"I will wait outside the door," he smiled back before leaving the bedroom and closing the door so she could change.

Catherine quickly changed into the clothing John let her borrow for the night. She then opened the door to let him know she was finished and found him with his back towards the door. "Ever the gentleman, John," she touched his back.

"Oh?" he turned around and briefly admired her in his oversized clothing. "We'll see about that," he smiled mischievously scooping her up, twirling her around a bit as she laughed and slightly squealed, and gently plopping her on the bed before jumping on the bed beside her. "You have been an unexpected joy to me in such dark times," he kissed her.

Catherine snuggled up to him wrapping her arm around him and putting her head on his chest. "When I first saw you in your cryotube, I could see and sense that you were so sad and lonely. While I still sense that your heart is full of negative emotions, I am glad to have been able to alleviate some of your grief. Do you trust me, John?" she asked as she slid her hand inside the top of his unbuttoned shirt to feel his skin.

"Yes, Catherine, I trust you fully," he wrapped his arms around her hugging her close.

"Please share everything with me from this point forward. Let me help you and your family."

"I do not want to put you in danger," he protested. "What if Marcus finds out? He could threaten your own loved ones."

"You are one of my loved ones!" she huffed. "Besides, I think he brought me on in order to use my abilities to spy on you. He thinks he's pulled the wool over my eyes. He thinks this is some kind of game. Well, quite frankly, two can play at this game, and I intend to win!" she growled taking John a bit by surprise.

"I suppose there is no changing your mind about this."

"No, nothing you can say would change my mind. I resolved to do this quite some time ago," she lifted her head to look him in the eyes.

"Then I will at least warn you that if you help me and are discovered, you may be tortured, interrogated, imprisoned, and possibly even executed. If the thought of those things do not bother you, then you are welcome to help me."

"I would die for you, John. There's no turning back for me now. I can't imagine life without you. I was starting to lose hope. I threw myself into my work and career to try to fill the loneliness I had felt for so long. I suppose that, like you, I'm afraid to look weak. I have not even admitted this to my dearest friends."

"You have taught me that there is no shame in admitting your fears or flaws. Thank you for sharing that with me. I cannot promise you happiness if you stay with me, Catherine, but I will do everything in my power to keep you safe," he leaned up and kissed her. "Within the next couple of days, we will figure out what you can do to help me and my family. Come, it has been a long week and a long day for both of us. Let us get some sleep."

"Goodnight," she nuzzled into his chest.

"Goodnight," he stroked her hair. "Oh, and Catherine?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. No matter what happens, do not forget that."

"I love you, too, John."


	16. The Children of Earth

**A/N: I'm back! Had a good time at the conference I attended last weekend, and it was VERY interesting! Thanks again to my reviewers and followers.**

* * *

16. The Children of Earth

(Listening track selections: "Hold Me Now" by Red, "The Children of Earth" by Ben Foster)

Being an Augment and not requiring much sleep, John took the time to stay awake and enjoy having Catherine snuggle up to him and fall asleep. Listening to her quiet breathing and feeling the warmth of her soft body against his own muscular form, he breathed in the scent of her hair and sighed with contentment. Closing his eyes, he thought of the summer home that he had built near the beaches of Kovalam. He could almost imagine smelling the sea breezes and hearing the waves crashing against the shore once again.

"_I would have loved to have taken Catherine there. I did not have enough time to spend there during my rule," _he regretted. _"She would have enjoyed it there, and I would have enjoyed seeing the sun glisten in her hair and to see the darkness of her eyes contrast with the brightness of the sky. And we could have swam together in the ocean like my mother and I did on holiday when I was a child…"_ he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Catherine woke up due to John gripping her body tightly. He was drenched in sweat and moaning in his sleep. "John?" she whispered.

"No, Kati, run," he mumbled. "Mummy, come back!" he shouted before murmuring a few phrases in Hindi. "I will help you save them," he started breathing heavily. "No!"

"John," she shook him roughly unsuccessfully waking him. "Wake up, John! You're dreaming!" she roughly rubbed his sternum with her knuckles, a method often used to arouse unresponsive patients.

"No!" he sat up suddenly gasping for air. "No," he repeated again as he put his hands to his head and started to weep.

"John, shh, it's alright," she wrapped her arms around him. "It was just a dream."

John sobbed briefly before taking a few deep breaths to calm down, "I know, but even Augments have nightmares."

"Here," she pushed the hair out of his face and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I'll be right back," she ran to get a cool wet cloth. Upon returning, she gently wiped off his face before laying the cloth over the back of his neck to help him cool off. "Better?"

"Yes, love, thank you," he kissed her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare, that is."

"I have not had this nightmare since I was a child, but I dreamt of the night my mother died. Kati and I were with her at her lab. There was a fire that broke out in one of the labs, a fire that to this day I do not know if it was accidental or intentional. She told Kati and me to run away to get to safety. She wanted to save," he paused closing his eyes in sadness trying to hold back tears.

"Take your time," she reassured him.

"She wanted to save the infants. There were four or five in the one lab sleeping after a session of observation. One of them was my baby brother. She had named him Amit after her grandfather."

"John, you never mentioned that you lost a brother. I'm so sorry."

"Although I was only a child at the time, I was very proud of my baby brother. My mother had made immense strides in her work since my birth, and Amit had shown great promise. His abilities probably would have surpassed even my own. It was also her hope that she had corrected the malformation in the base-pair sequences that cause my periodic struggles with aggression. My mother and the infants perished when the lab complex exploded. I still have a scar on my leg from where some debris hit me as I shielded Kati from the blast as we escaped."

Sensing his emotions, she put her hand on his shoulder, "You loved your brother."

"Yes, very much. I was too young to remember what Kati was like as an infant, so Amit was a new adventure. I often watched him and Kati while my mother was busy. He was such a happy baby. I feel like I almost forgot about him, as if I tried to suppress my memories of him."

"It does happen like that sometimes, but you were also quite young."

"Perhaps he is part of the reason why I have always wanted children of my own."

"Are Augment men and human women able to conceive?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course, Catherine," he kissed her temple. "That is, if it is something you desire."

"Yes, it is. I would be honored to be the mother of your children."

"Just not right now," he frowned knowingly.

"Right," she heaved a sigh. "Our situation is not exactly ideal for rearing children, and it would be pretty hard to hide a pregnancy from our superiors without having to provide some sort of explanation," she laughed lightly. "I would not want to have to lie about the child being yours or make it sound like I had a one night stand with a stranger."

"I know," he smiled, "but hopefully someday we will be free to do what we wish."

"In case you're wondering for future reference, I am on birth control. No need for any contraception when the heat of the moment finally comes upon us," she whispered in his ear before kissing his jaw as she pulled the wet cloth off his neck and flung it across the room.

"My dear, you are so eager," he rumbled deeply pulling her close before lying back with her onto the bed. "Soon, Catherine, soon. I promise," he tangled his fingers in her hair, "your wait will be worth it. Do all Betazoid and half-Betazoid women have a sex drive such as yours?"

"We are very comfortable with our bodies. I personally have some doubts about my physique, but in short, yes, we enjoy such intimacy. Plus, when I reach my forties, I will go through something called the 'Phase.' My sex drive will quadruple for a short period of time."

"Augment women sometimes have a reputation for being frigid. We Augment men, however, are, well, just that. Men."

"Then you are a lucky man," she teased as she snuggled closer before falling back asleep.

The next morning Catherine awoke to find John was already up and banging around in the kitchen. Seeing his silk robe draped across a chair, she pulled it overtop of the clothes he loaned her for the night, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, she went to see what he was up to in the kitchen.

"Good morning," she smiled sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Morning. I'm trying to find something edible for us to have for breakfast," he fussed as he dug around in his refrigerator. "Do you like yogurt?" he asked as he sniffed a container to see if it was spoiled or not.

"I enjoy yogurt for breakfast quite often. Did it survive?" she laughed.

"Yes, I think it survived exile in the Siberia of my refrigerator," he laughed as he deemed it was good to eat. Finding two unbroken bowls and a couple of spoons, the pair sat at the counter to eat their meager breakfast. "Sorry that I do not have much more than this. We could always use the replicator if you want."

"This is fine, John. I don't need much for breakfast. You're not a fan of the replicators either?"

"No, while the replicator is an amazing invention, the food is just not the same."

"I agree. The technology is still pretty new, too, so hopefully it will get better," she laughed. "I suppose there has been much for you to get used to after missing out on 300 years."

"Yes, I had a lot of catching up to do."

"Anything in particular that you wished you didn't miss?"

"After the horrors of the Eugenics Wars and subsequent World War III, it would have been amazing to have been there for the first successful warp drive run and First Contact. It had to have brought the people so much hope after such grief."

She snickered, "Most people don't know that Zefram Cochrane was a drunk."

"And that he is quoted to have said that he originally was trying to create a warp drive out of the potential for wealth and women," John smiled and shook his head. "He didn't turn out too bad, though, after First Contact."

"It is a curious thing, John, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like Cochrane and you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find it to their own surprise that they wear it well."*****

"Did you specialize in any specific era of history during your studies?"

"I particularly enjoyed studying World War II. I'm not sure what drew me to it, but it was just an era that I found to be fascinating. It was a time that certainly showed the best and worst of mankind."

"That it was. Let us hope we never see the likes of such a time again. One war was enough for me. I sincerely hope nothing happens between the Federation and the Klingons. After all, it is always the women and children that suffer the most," he sighed.

"Yes, they do. Don't worry," she reached over and squeezed his hand, "we'll think of something to protect them," reaffirming him sensing his concern for his family.

"Do you think Dr. Smith can be trusted to help us? He already knows my identity."

"Absolutely, Luke has been nothing but concerned about the entire situation. He can be trusted and has already been trying to weed out Marcus' lies."

"I have an idea, but we will need his help. First, however, we need to find out where Marcus is keeping my family."

"Right, tomorrow morning I will let Luke know about these new developments. He will be as irate as we are about it."

After spending the rest of the morning helping John clean up what remained of the mess in his quarters, he escorted her back to her own quarters so that she could prepare her report for Admiral Marcus in regards to John's incident. Also, as much as they mutually agreed that they wanted to spend their time together, they both felt that it would be beneficial for them to have some quiet time alone in order to brainstorm about possible ways to save John's family.

Monday morning Catherine was glad to find Dr. Smith was already at the lab bright and early before she would have to report to Marcus at 0800. "Luke," she rushed in already flustered, "they're gone!"

"What do you mean?" he walked down the hall towards the room containing the cryotubes with her tagging along. As the door opened, he was greeted with an empty room. "What the hell?"

"I told you they're gone! Marcus had them moved sometime Friday evening after we left for the day. John cracked and made a pretty decent mess of his lab and his quarters. Marcus made me go and check on him. I had a couple young ensigns convinced that John was just sick and that I was handling the situation. I have to report to Marcus this morning about the whole thing. Luke, they have John's sister and nephew. Those people are not just his crew. They're his family!"

"I have to talk to Marcus. That bastard can't just take our entire project right out from under me like this! We're the only ones qualified at this point to care for those people!"

"So you will help?" Catherine slightly wrung her hands.

"Yes, I have to help. God only knows what Marcus might be doing with them."

"How can we convince him to return the cryotubes to their original location and allow us access to all of them without letting on that we know the truth?"

"Well, according to my prior report to Marcus," Dr. Smith started to explain, "our one subject died due to a defect in one of the electrical systems even though you and I know that it was sabotage, and he already knows about the radiation leak in Commander Harrison's cryotube. I will merely tell him that we need to check and monitor each and every cryotube daily to ensure that they do not have the same issues. Plus, let's just say that he is suspicious that I know something that can be used as leverage or blackmail against him."

"I hope it works. John is so worried," she heaved a sigh.

"Don't worry. I will take care of it, and I will report to Marcus on your behalf as well. Go get yourself some tea," he smiled.

Returning with her tea, Catherine paced as she waited in the hall while trying to listen to Dr. Smith making his case to Admiral Marcus in regards to monitoring the cryotubes. She had to restrain herself when she heard Marcus explain, "There must have been some miscommunication. The two cryotubes in your lab were returned to the main storage bay with the others. They're all still there and were never moved."

"_Miscommunication my ass,"_ she thought.

Marcus continued, "I do think your concerns are legitimate, Dr. Smith, given the death of one subject and the radiation exposure that Harrison experienced. I will grant you and Lieutenant Troi access to the storage warehouse where they're being kept, but I expect the two of you not to abuse this privilege. The minute something goes wrong, the two of you are off the project!"

"Thank you, Admiral Marcus. We will not let you down," Dr. Smith assured him.

"I will have the two cryotubes transported back to your lab immediately and will have the information for the warehouse location and access codes transmitted securely to your PADD using an encrypted message. Report to me immediately if anything is wrong."

"Of course, sir." After finishing with Marcus, Dr. Smith left the conference room and found Catherine waiting in the hallway.

"Well? I overheard a little of it, but what did he say?" she asked anxiously.

"Success! We have been granted access. We will have to be very careful, though, because the minute he suspects something wrong, we're both off the project," he explained.

"John knows how to falsify records. I think he will be able to ensure none of our activities are leaked."

"You want to let him see them, don't you?"

"I'm sure he's anxious to see them, to know they are safe and unharmed. I am able to reason with him, but in this instance, I do not think that I will be able to hold him back. He's desperate, and a desperate man has nothing to lose."

"Has he been volatile recently?"

"Yes, he has been quite upset. He's still having those headaches, and the other night he had a nightmare. I do think the amantadine has helped a little, but he's now on the maximum dose. Should we scan his brain again?"

"Not quite yet, I was quite thorough last time. I think it is stress, but keep monitoring him. If he gets significantly worse, we will consider a repeat scan. You can still give him those migraine cocktails if they get too severe. Given his volatile nature, I'm reluctant to start him on amitriptyline."

"Okay, I will keep asking him how he feels. I agree in that amitriptyline may only make his aggression worse. Let's see how our two friends are doing now that they're back safely in our hands," she suggested they perform scans on Nandi and the other man that they had been monitoring and studying.

"Perhaps," Dr. Smith started as he and Catherine scanned the cryotubes, "you would like the honors of visiting the warehouse this evening. If John is capable, he can go as well and make sure to take care of the surveillance systems. You can just do a quick walk-through and make a list of the people in the cryotubes, give them designations for our data."

"Can I go and tell him now? Actually, I'd like to bring him here to discuss our plans between the three of us if you don't mind."

"Go on," he shooed her away. "Go get him," he smiled. "I don't think anything I could say would stop you from hounding me about it."

"Thank you!" she smiled and sped out of their lab to fetch him. Walking into John's lab, she beamed. He was working away as usual at his torpedo designs as she came up behind him and hugged him tightly. "For once, I have good news," she sighed.

Turning around and returning her embrace, he raised a brow, "Oh?"

"The doctor reported to Marcus on my behalf and more importantly was able to convince him to let us have access to all of the cryotubes. All of them, John! I will be able to make sure Kati and Luca are safe!"

"I, uh," he struggled to gather his thoughts. "I don't know what to say!" he smiled. "Other than thank you, of course," he kissed her forehead.

"I didn't have any part in it, but if you would like, you can thank Dr. Smith in person. He wants to discuss you being able to see your family. We want to thoroughly plan this in order to avoid Marcus finding out or arousing his suspicions."

"Right, that would be prudent."

"How did you sleep last night?" she stroked his cheek.

"No nightmares."

"But you had a raging headache, didn't you?" she frowned knowing that he was not divulging everything.

"Yes, I did."

"Luke wanted to hold off on doing another scan of your brain or putting you on an additional medication, but I'm so worried about you. Something is just not right. It makes no sense for you to be in pain like this."

"If Dr. Smith is not concerned about it at the moment, then you have no need to worry yourself either," he insisted.

"It's just," she huffed, "I don't know what to think anymore, John. Ever since I started here, I don't know what to believe in anymore. Everything is always so backwards and suspicious around here. What if Marcus has done something to you to cause these headaches?"

"But you trust me, Catherine, and I trust you. If nothing else, believe in this. Believe in us," he kissed her gently on the lips. "Keep calm and carry on."

"Aye, Khan," she stood at attention and saluted him. "Let's go," she took his hand before they walked arm-in-arm to the cryogenics lab.

"Ah, Commander Harrison," Dr. Smith smiled as the pair entered the lab.

"Dr. Smith," John acknowledged him back. "Let us keep the salutations brief. We have planning to do," he grumbled.

"Yes, of course. Shall we?" Dr. Smith led the couple to the conference room.

As they all took their seats, John started sternly, "It has come to my attention that you know of my true identity and the origin of the people in the cryotubes you are studying. Catherine insists that you can be trusted to keep this information secure and that you will not knowingly put anyone I love in danger. I trust her judgment given her Betazoid abilities, but know that if you betray us, you will wish you had never been born."

"Rest assured that I only wish to help you. You and your people deserve justice, and I will do what I can to protect them. They are as human as any of us, and they do not deserve to be treated as anything less. When I became a doctor, I vowed to do no harm to my patients, and I intend to stick to that, Khan Noonien Singh," he bowed his head slightly out of respect.

"That is not necessary," John insisted as his demeanor became gentler upon seeing Dr. Smith's resolve and deference. "The past is dead, and my time as Khan is gone with it. Now I am merely a man who wants to save his family. Please, call me John."

"I will do what I can to help."

"Thank you," he sighed with some relief.

"We must be very careful, as I'm sure you already know that Admiral Marcus has eyes and ears everywhere. Catherine, however, tells me you are experienced in handling these technicalities."

"Yes, I have become quite experienced in falsifying records and deactivating his surveillance systems. The technology is easy enough to tackle, but it is the people who concern me. I am always on the alert making sure I am not being followed."

"Have you been followed before?" Catherine anxiously squeezed his hand. "How often?"

"Often enough to know about it. Don't worry, outside of our night out at the restaurant, I do not believe Marcus or his spies have seen us together. I have been very careful to protect you from their prying eyes."

Catherine frowned, "Marcus knows about what happened in the alley that one night."

"Then we need to be all the more careful."

"Commander, if you believe you can ensure that you can disable the surveillance systems and falsify any necessary records," Dr. Smith got them refocused on the purpose of their meeting, "you are welcome to accompany Catherine this evening when she goes to catalogue and do a quick walk-through of the cryotubes in the storage area. She asked right away if I was agreeable to you going with her."

"Catherine," he turned to look at her to find her smiling back at him. "Of course, I can easily disrupt and falsify the surveillance systems. You can meet me at my lab at our agreed upon time under the ruse of checking on me. I will then disable the systems. You can make your way to the location where my family is being kept, and I can use my remote transporter to beam directly to the coördinates so that no one will see me leave my lab."

"Excellent, I forgot about your transporter. It's perfect," she reflected on his plan.

That evening as set forth by John's suggestion, Catherine met him at his lab under the pretense of performing scans on him. Providing him with the coördinates for the location of the cryotubes, she then left to head to that location on foot giving him adequate time to disable the surveillance system. Entering a room that was provided to be the location of the entrance of the storage area, she punched in the access code on her tricorder and had it transmit revealing a hidden door. Just as she was going to enter, the door opened and John walked out of it.

"Looks like I beat you," he smiled. "I guess it didn't take me as long as I thought," he escorted her inside the darkened warehouse. "Lights," he commanded the computer system, "100%."

"Oh, John," Catherine gasped blinking as her eyes adjusted to the bright light as she took in the view of a vast room full of cryotubes. "They only told us there were a handful. I had no idea there were so many."

"This is my family, all of them that are left," he explained as she reached down and took hold of his hand. "Come, I will show you Katrina and Luca," he gently led the way between the rows of cryotubes towards the center of the room before stopping. "This is my nephew," he smiled.

"Hello, Luca," Catherine smiled in turn looking at the school-aged child with dark curly hair.

"He loves to play cricket and rugby with his friends. He wants to be an archaeologist someday. He loves to dig in the dirt. Oh, how filthy he can be at times when he comes home!" he laughed. "His mother is always scolding him."

"Where is she?"

"Over here," he led her to the tube next to Luca's. "I requested that they be moved beside each other so they could be together," his smile faded as he placed his hand gently on the glass. "I'm surprised someone actually listened to me and carried out my request."

Catherine leaned forward to peer inside at the young woman fast asleep. "She's beautiful, John. She looks so peaceful," she noted.

"Kati was always steadfast even during my most difficult moments. Only with the death of her husband did she ever understandably waver out of grief. It's hard to see her looking so peaceful knowing of the darkness surrounding her and Luca at all times, the darkness that threatens to swallow them up and take their lives."

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven," she quoted Milton's _Paradise Lost_.

"Perhaps she is better off sleeping and dreaming of good things. Unlike myself," he put a hand over his eyes trying not to weep.

"John," Catherine wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I will do everything I can to help you bear this burden."

"Thank you," he took his hand away from his eyes revealing a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Your devotion to me and my cause is unwavering. I feel that I am undeserving of your kindness. I fear that in the end, this situation will only cause you to see how savage I can truly be. These hands," he looked down holding them up, "have killed many men. It is not something that I take pleasure in doing, but I may have to kill many more to ensure the safety of those that I hold most dear. You have already seen what they are capable of doing."

"These hands may be deadly," she took hold of one of his hands and gently kissed it, "but they are also capable of tenderness. You are so gentle with me, John."

"I love you so much that my heart aches. You have awakened in me feelings I did not think were even possible for me to feel, and yet I am afraid of hurting you again and even worse than I already have in the past."

"You won't. I know you won't, and I'm not afraid of you or what you might have to do to ensure your family gets the justice they deserve. I myself may have to do things that I usually would consider to be wrong in order to help you."

"You already lie so much on my behalf. I do not want to turn you into a murderer as well."

"It's not murder if it's self-defense."

"Please, if you must, only do it as a last resort. I do not want you to stoop to the same level as Marcus or myself. I do not want you to become a fallen angel."

"I understand, John, but it is generally accepted that even the angels have free will."

"Then use your free will to protect life, not destroy it lest it destroy you."

"I cannot guarantee it, but I will try only because you ask it of me. Now, introduce me to the rest of your people. I will make a list of them on my PADD, and you can run preliminary scans on them," she handed him her tricorder and medical scanner. "I've seen you playing with them before," she smiled.

"I was curious one day and quickly learned how to operate their basic functions. I will assist you," he smiled taking the equipment from her and leading her through the aisles of cryotubes.

*J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter_

* * *

**A/N: In case you were wondering, I attended a conference on brain injury rehabilitation at UPMC Mercy in Pittsburgh. I had the opportunity to learn about something called brain computer interface. It is amazing and sounds very promising! If you're curious, go to You Tube, search for "brain computer interface" and watch the video titled "One Giant Bite: Woman with Quadriplegia Feeds Herself..." It is like something straight out of Star Trek!**


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